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Modern Guys Who Value Modesty

By: Kristen Clark

In 2010 five young guys stepped onto the music scene and stole the hearts of millions of teenage girls worldwide. They went from being five nobodies, to claiming international fame within months.

How did they do this?

By simply appealing to every girls heartfelt longing – to be called beautiful. Girls swarmed by the thousands to their concerts to hear them passionately sing to them about just that.

This famous boy-band from England broke international records with their debut single, What Makes You Beautiful. Yes, you called it. I’m talking about the band One Direction.

Don’t get confused though, these aren’t the guys who value modesty.

We’re about to get there.

Unfortunately, One Direction is promoting the exact opposite of modesty for girls. Their recent songs make it very clear that they’re more interested in girls who are willing to uncover.

Thanks to One Direction, thousands of teen girls are jumping at the chance to show off their bodies in hopes of gaining affirmation and “love” from the guys around them.

I don’t know about you, but when I was a single girl I remember feeling so discouraged by the apparent lack of guys who actually valued girls who dressed modestly. Do you ever feel that way?

Do guys care about modesty at all anymore?

In a culture where almost everyone is telling you to show off your skin, it’s easy to become discouraged and want to throw in the towel on modesty. Especially when it seems like some Christian guys are more attracted to girls who uncover.

As hard it is to dress modestly (trust me, I know!), guess what?! There are still godly guys out there who value modesty and are standing up to applaud you for it. There’s a remnant of single guys who are praying and longing to meet a girl who values this quality.

In fact, there are some single guys who are even singing about it.

Last week some friends of mine introduced me to two different videos/songs that blew me away. They’re not theologically or spiritually deep songs, but they send a very important message to our culture.

A message that every single girl needs to hear.

“Dressing modest, we know it’s rough. When the world’s making it so tough. Don’t need short skirts, or low cut shirts. Bein’ the way that you are is enough.”

Those lyrics are actually a parody from the One Direction song we were talking about earlier. A bunch of young, teenage guys got together and recorded a new version of the song, What Makes You Beautiful. They creatively renamed the song, Virtue Makes You Beautiful.

If you haven’t seen the video, you should go watch it. It will really encourage and inspire you. Finish this blog first then go watch it HERE.

It was so refreshing for me to see young guys singing about girls in a way that actually praises her character and not her body.

That same week, another friend introduced me to a second song called, That’s What I’m Looking For, by the band Anthem Lights. I really like this song because it’s coming from the mouths of young single guys who are praising modesty and inner beauty.

Here’s a sample of their lyrics:

“Hey girl I gotta be honest, Truth is all I really want is, Someone who knows who they are Beauty found inside her heart. I want her to be modest, That kind of girl is hottest. A lady living for the Lord. Just so ya know, That’s what I’m looking for.”

These guys are sending us an extremely important message.

They’re not looking for a girl who shows off her skin to the whole world. No, they want to marry a girl who has more depth. A girl who has inner character and who values her body. A girl who actually dresses modestly.

They put together a really funny video to go along with this song, and I think you’ll enjoy watching it. Finish this blog, then go HERE to view it.

Small disclaimer: The only thing I don’t like about that song is when they use the word “hottest.” I would prefer a different word, but hey – nobody is perfect and at least they’re going in the right direction (unlike One Direction). 

Okay, disclaimer over.

Those two songs represent a small percentage of guys who actually love modest clothes.

As shocking as it may seem sometimes, there are still godly, single guys out there who want to marry a girl that values modesty.

Here’s what another single guy had to say:

“When women dress modestly, it’s attractive and makes me want to hang out with them even more. I think modesty is so attractive and helpful in friendships because it makes it easier for a friendship to be centered around God and for fellowship to be unhindered.” (Worldliness, Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World)

From the same book, a different single guy praised modest girls by saying:

“To the girls who don’t follow the pattern of the world [by dressing seductively]: thank you a million times over. You are following Scripture’s commands and are helping your brothers in the process.”

If you’re a girl who is making efforts to dress modestly this summer, these guys are so thankful for you.

Keep up the good work!

As C.J. Mahaney states, “Godly men find modesty attractive. They appreciate women who dress with self-control and restraint. They’re grateful for women who serve them by helping them fight the temptations to lust.”

There are thousands of other guys just like these who are praying for a future wife who has godly character and who makes efforts to dress modestly.

When it feels like the entire world is seducing you to wear mini skirts and bikinis, just remember, godly men find modesty attractive.

If you’re new to this whole idea of dressing modestly, check out some of our other posts that explain more about it here:

The Naked Truth About Why We Wear Clothes

Are You Ready for Bikini Season?

  • Did you find this blog encouraging to you in any way? If so, how?
  • Does the fact that godly guys still value modesty inspire you to dress more modestly?
  • Do you feel overwhelmed sometimes by the pressure our culture places on girls to dress seductively? How do you overcome those temptations?

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Shutterbug

Young Couple Holding Hands

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  • Taylor

    This blog is really encouraging to me. Thank you girls so much for the effort you put into helping out others like me. I’ve definitely learned a lot from you in the past few months concerning relationships and just specific issues surrounding me today. I can’t tell you how easy it is for me to wish I could dress immodestly when I’m around certain people. When I realize that there are men out there who actually value modesty, yes, it certainly inspires me to “take the high road!”

    • We are so glad this blog was an encouragement to you Taylor! We know the struggle of dressing modestly as well… It can be very tough sometimes. Stay in the fight! Your future husband will appreciate it. 🙂

  • Ellissa Baird

    Great post!! Really really encouraging! Thanks girls!

  • Tiana Worthy

    My younger sister and I both really appreciate this post. It was such a wonderful encouragement and confirmation of the values our parents have tried to instil in us since we were small. As I get older I’m learning the importance of embracing these convictions as my own instead of it being “just the way my family is” and articles like this are always a huge blessing and a reminder of why we do the things we do!!!
    Soli Deo Gloria

    • Hey Tiana, thanks so much for your comment. That’s great that you’re realizing you need to embrace convictions for yourself. We can’t agree more on how important it is to do that. We are so grateful this blog post was a blessing and an encouragement to you!

  • Lisa Hallahan

    This is so great Kristen, thank you!

  • Anna

    Thank you a million times. This post was just what I needed to read, today, as I was feeling that pressure to compromise! God’s blessings come, when we honor Him!

    • Anna, God has a way of doing that to us and it’s awesome. So glad this one hit the spot today. Thanks for interacting with us!

  • Vickie

    Although I raise my girls to dress modestly, and raise my boys to look for godly women…..I know pressures in society makes them both want to do/act/see differently. I’m going to print this out for them so they know there are others in the world that believe and teach as we do.

    God’s Blessings.

    • That’s a great idea Vickie! It’s always so encouraging to know there are other people out there fighting for the same things you are. Keep up the great work with your kiddos!

  • Merci

    Thank you for this blog post. I live in Singapore and it’s “Summer” the whole year round, so girls use that as an excuse to wear less. (Because the heat is really bad) But as I believe in modesty, I don’t wear what they wear, and it’s rather interesting to realise that I’m the only girl on the bus wearing a long skirt while everyone else is in micro shorts! 😛

    • @Merci, I can see how dressing modestly would be really hard because of your hot weather. We are so proud of you for standing up for godly femininity even when your culture “uncovers.” Stay in the fight!

  • Curious

    I find your post very informative and that song is hilarious… But I have a thought, aren’t godly guys supposed to be so godly that they should choose not to look at an immodest girl. Why is it so hard for guys? Just curious! Any thoughts?

    • Rebecca

      That’s a good question. First of all, you have to realize that all are sinners, and Christians are only saved because of God’s amazing grace and love for us. We are human though, and are not completely perfect like God is. So that means we will stumble and fall at times (though that doesn’t make God stop loving us.). Having lots of brothers, and discussions with my parents on the importance of modesty, I discovered a long time ago, that guys are wired differently than girls are. (Surprise!) For guys who are being constantly surrounded by immodesty, it can be hard for them to not look and be tempted. That’s not to say they are free and okay to do so. It’s a matter of both genders, guys and girls, working to help the other. For girls, dressing modestly so as to not be tempting Christian guys who are trying to stay pure helps so much. For guys, it can be a matter of encouraging girls who ARE trying to be modest, and not going places that will cause them to be tempted, as in water parks in the blazing summer, or such. Pretty much in the end, we can only overcome temptation with the help and wisdom of God.
      Hope this helps you in your question.

    • Briana Soto

      Hey Curious. I think even though Christian Guys want to sheild their eyes from the women who are provactave and disgusting they see it everywhere and everyday. If they have a tv with cable my parents turned the cable off because the commercials were bad not even the real shows but the commercials. I have 4 brother’s and they don’t need to see all of those women half dressed. It’s sad that a woman would show her body just to make a little extra money. Point is Christian Men and soon to be Men are constantly being bombarded with immodest Lady’s and young Ladies. I mean these guys who don’t want to see a lady who is half dressed end up seeing like 10 of them just when he goes to the grocery store. When a girl is showing so much of her skin off to men she is wanting attention. She gets it but she gets it in the wrong way. Also when a guy see’s a lady or young lady in a bikini it is proven that a signal goes off in their brain that is associated with tools. And mechanical properties. I know I don’t want to be thought of as an object instead of a person but Christian Guys shouldn’t have to tell a girl to go find the rest of her outfit but instead women should have the respect for the men and say hey maybe I should start putting on a whole outfit instead of some half tight shirt and mega short shorts. This all just my thoughts on all of this. Hope this helps

  • Curious

    @Rebecca – Thank you. You really cleared up my confusion in this area. Great answer! I’m going to share this with my friends. Many of them struggle to dress modestly simply because they haven’t thought about it in this way. Also, thank you, GirlDefined, for this post. Excellent!

  • Elisabeth

    Thanks, girls!!Ihave grown up to my teen years now with parents who always put stock in modesty.I accepted it when I was young, but then became discounted when I under my first teen year.For a long while I faught the”fitting in”or the modesty stand point with an on and off view point.Then, just this year as I have finally given my heart to the Lord, and especially after reading your posts, I see how important modesty is and am now striving for the want of full modesty in my own life!Thanks sooo much for an article I can relate to!!

  • Concerned

    The first song you reference is done by a group of Mormon young men. Although I appreciate the message in the song, as a believer in the Biblical Jesus, not the Jesus that the LDS church teaches about, I sadly cannot call these young men “godly.” They have a form of godliness, but it is not from the Holy Spirit. I have close who friends who are Mormon and I love them dearly, but I would caution you to direct young girls to a link that may cause confusion when they see that the video is present by the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints. I think it would be wise to clarify that you support their view of modesty, but it doesn’t stem from their accurate Biblical exegesis or from the fact that they are godly. It comes from their church apostles who require the modesty in order to be a good Mormon and keep one’s temple recommend! I watched the video with my daughter; It is fun and we enjoyed it, but would you please clarify the connection of godliness with makers of this video?

    • Laureland

      I agree, exactly, and echo your concern. I thought the song was good and its message, and would have shared it with my friend who has a particular ministry to young people in schools, but was disappointed when I discovered that the young men are Mormon. Confusing and not the direction in which we would wish to point anyone!

  • Elaine

    So encouraging! Thank you for the second quote from the book. That has filled me with gratitude to all the guys who still think modesty is attractive and godly. Thank you so much!

  • Kaveke

    Thank you so much Kristen.Indeed every girl needs to see this.

  • Celestria

    I just discovered this website today. I’ve read several blogs and I already love it. I watched one of your videos about dressing modestly but still being stylish at the same time. I thought it was really great and this was very encouraging! It’s hard to find modest clothes these days and sometimes it’s frustrating, but it’s good to know there are guys out there who feel that way(: (I really wanted to watch the Virtue Makes You Beautiful video, but it didn’t work.)

  • Shannon

    Listen to Looking For a Girl by OBB! It talks about wanting to marry a godly girl!

    • Shepherd’s Handmaiden

      I love that song!

  • Heidi Daniel

    First off I want to say thank you.
    Tonight I’ve been searching the web looking for a modest homecoming dress. Along the way I started to get discouraged and started wondering if anyone else actually cared about modesty. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka Mormon) I believe in dressing modestly, but many of my protestant Christian friends (who are wonderful girls who love the Lord) do not. I was starting to feel like we were the only ones who cared. Then I came upon this blog. It made me so happy to see other Christians who feel the same way I do about modesty. I just want to say thank you so much for writing this. It is so encouraging to see other women making the effort to dress modestly

  • Shepherd’s Handmaiden

    Thank you for this post! I looked up the song and was surprised that it was made by Mormons and not Christians… either way it was *SO* cool!!! I loved it so much!!!


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