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One Thing Every Single Woman Needs to Know

By: Bethany Beal

Since the day I got engaged to my Fiance David, I’ve been asked a similar question over and over again. Messages from single women on Instagram, Facebook, and email all want to know the same thing.

Now that I’m engaged, what is the one thing I want single women to know?

Now that I’ve passed my full on single days, I guess many of you are curious what I have to say looking back on that season. It’s an interesting thought and a great question. I’ve been thinking quite about it a bit over the past few days.

To be honest, my single years (in my late twenties) were some of the best years of my entire life. I genuinely loved that season of life and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

I loved learning to trust God fully and I loved learning to thrive as a result.

My hope and prayer is that every one of you can get to that point. I so want you to thrive and not simply survive. Your single years can be some of the best years of your life if you allow God to work in and through you. Don’t become an unhappy grouch that hates life and hates everyone who’s smiling. God has sooo much more in store for you as a single if you’ll only get your eyes onto Him.

Back to the question. What is the one thing I want single women to know? This is what I want them to know.

I want single women to know that they can THRIVE during their single years.  

I want single women to know that it is one-hundred-percent possible to thrive and love life as a single. You do not need a guy, a husband, a relationship, or anything close to that to be truly happy and joy-filled. I’m telling you, Dav is not the reason that I love life. Don’t get me wrong, He’s amazing and I love him. But my joy and satisfaction come from the Lord. My relationship with Christ is what helps me to enjoy my relationship with Dav more fully.

Instead of assuming that a relationship will be the final puzzle piece in your life, ask God how you can live fully for Him now. Don’t wait around for a guy to begin living your life. Do your absolute best to fully live your life right now.

If God has you single, He has you single for a reason.

Don’t waste these precious years. Way too many single women go through this season upset, angry, worried, and discontent. Their single years are wasted away in misery as a result.

Don’t let that happen to you.

Allow God to use you during this season. There is so much work that needs to be done for God’s Kingdom. Choose to live your life for as one who’s willing to be used by God.

“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” (Matthew 9:37b-38).

Choose to be one of the few.

The Bible clearly says that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Be one of the few.

In order to thrive as a single (or married), we need to keep our eyes focused on the bigger picture. We need to zoom out and look at life more wholly and fully. It’s important to remember that life isn’t all about us. It’s not. It’s about serving God and being a laborer for Him.

It’s also important to remember who and what we should be seeking first and foremost.

But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33).

Seek first God’s kingdom. Not a guy. 

That should be our heart’s desire. Ask God to make that your heart. Ask Him to make that your truest ambition.

With a heart that seeks to serve the Lord and be used by Him, I believe you have the secret to thriving as a single.

What about you?

How can you apply Matthew 9:37-38 to your life?

How can you live out Matthew 6:33?


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7 Responses to One Thing Every Single Woman Needs to Know

  1. Congrats on your engagement! Thanks for these words of encouragement!! So happy for you all! This is seriously an answer to my prayers to see you and Dav in a relationship!

  2. Bella D. says:

    God bless you and the man you plan to marry! I’ve been praying for you both and will continue to do so. Thank you for all the ways you have tried to exhort us single girls through your blog, books and conferences… you’ve been such a blessing to my sisters and I, along with many of the younger girls at our church.

  3. This article is such an encouragement, Bethany! Probably one of the best ones I’ve ever read about singleness. ❤️ Thank you!!!

  4. mwita emmy says:

    this has really shade some light in my single life, BTW am 27 and single, never been in a serious r/ship ….I used to really feel pity for my singleness, I never liked my singleness, I longed for relationship but finding “girl defined” forum has really changed my perspective on singleness… and finding Jesus and making Him the anchor to my soul/center of my life…I have a long way to go but I believe God is in control of my life so am no longer anxious about being single.
    God bless you GIRL DEFINED for taking a bold move to create this ministry. #Keepgoing
    ***Love, Emmy.

  5. AMEN! Singleness is a GIFT, spouses are promised absolutely nowhere in Scripture, and women were not exclusively created to marry and procreate.

    I do my best to live my life with no regrets, and accept God’s forgiveness truly does cover my sin. But my biggest regret is living my single life as though it was nothing but a waiting period for marriage. It is my belief that women should live their lives 100% focused on Kingdom work until they are actively pursued by a man with the intentions of marriage. If that never happens, PTL because you will be able to serve the Kingdom in ways you never would be able to as a married woman and it will be easier to let Christ be King of your heart. Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a gift and I thank the Lord every day for it. But there is a special calling to every single person out there to throw themselves wholeheartedly into service, whatever that may look like

  6. Kierra says:

    Thank you Bethany for the encouragement. Very few women will talk about their single years like you do. You are an inspiration to so many girls and I hope you and Kristen keep it up!
    I am currently single, but find myself longing for my single years to be over. I will heed the words of instruction and begin building my relationship deeper with God and seeking to fulfill His calling on my life knowing that He is in complete control!

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