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Why Watching People Make Out Should be Awkward

By: Kristen Clark

The tension was building. Something big was about to happen. Everyone felt it. The romantic story had been a roller coaster of ups and downs, sorrows and joys. But something was about to change.

As the young couple finally realized their passion for one another, it happened. They embraced one another and engaged in a full blown make out session. I sat there watching this climactic scene unfold.

And…after about three seconds, I began to feel awkward.

I glanced around the room to see if anybody else looked uncomfortable.

Nothing. All eyes were locked on the screen. After what felt like an hour, the kissing finally stopped.

I’ll be honest with you.

Staring at a couple while they passionately kiss makes me feel a little awkward. Ever since that day (which was back in high school) I’ve had a question in the back of my mind. “Why did I feel awkward watching that make out scene?” “Why do I feel uncomfortable every time a movie or show lingers on the kissing scene?” Am I weird? Abnormal? Immature?

I don’t think so.

After recent research on this topic I realized I’m not the only person who feels this way.

Ray Comfort addressed a very similar issue in a recent movie he created. Only he took his questions to the streets to find out what the general public thought.

He asked random people if they would be comfortable peeking into their neighbor’s bedroom window while the husband and wife were intimately engaged. Most people instantly appeared shocked and disgusted. “Of course not!” most replied. “Creepy,” others said.

Ray Comfort then asked them if they were Christians and if they watched R rated movies.

Most said yes to both.

“Okay,” he continued. “In the movies, do you watch the sex scenes?” Almost every single person said yes. Some people looked ashamed, others not. “So, let me get this straight…” Ray said in his typical Ray fashion. “You think it’s wrong to peer into your neighbors window at an intimate scene, but not wrong to peer into the your TV at an intimate scene?”

His question stunned them.

Apparently nobody had ever thought about it like that before.

After watching his video it finally clicked for me why I felt so awkward watching people passionately make out.

The reason is simple: Intimate, sensual moments are meant to be just that. Intimate.

Why do you think the couple on the movie screen doesn’t have a built in audience watching them? Why are the intimate scenes almost always two people alone? Because intimate scenes were not created for an audience.

It’s not how God designed it.

Passionate kissing is a very intimate act between two people (and it’s very different from a light kiss). That’s why you’ve probably never seen your parents make out in front of you. It just wouldn’t seem appropriate. Why? The same reason as before. Intimacy is meant to be intimate…and it’s hard to do that with a crowd watching.

So when did we, as a culture, become so comfortable with watching people make out on the screen?

Well, it happened like a frog in a pot of boiling water…slowly and over time. Hollywood movies used to keep private matters off the screen; but not anymore.

Little by little they cranked the heat up until most people felt comfortable watching something that would make past generations blush.

Okay, if you’re reading this and you don’t feel awkward watching someone else engage in passionate acts…let me ask you this. Would you feel comfortable having a group of people watch you do the same thing with your future husband? Would you want your siblings, parents, pastor and friends watching you engage in those intimate moments?

My guess? Probably not.

So why are you okay with watching other people do it?

Hollywood has done such a great job of bringing intimacy to the screen that we hardly think about it anymore. We hardly blink when an intimate make-out session starts.

What used to be sacred and special is now common and cheap.

As Christians, we must have a God-defined worldview on this. Just because it’s on a “screen” doesn’t mean it’s okay to watch. Instead of accepting whatever Hollywood throws our way, we need to think carefully and biblically in our modern times. We need to question everything we watch and are “entertainment” by.

We need to ask ourselves probing and honest questions such as….

Does this passionate scene tempt me to lust?
Am I watching something that should be reserved for the privacy of a bedroom?
Do intimate scenes encourage me to dream of sexual fantasies?
In what ways will this scene help me remain pure?
Would I feel awkward if God was sitting in the room next to me?
Am I dulling my conscience by watching this?

I hope you’ll take some time to ask yourself those questions.

A great way to avoid unwanted scenes is to avoid certain movies altogether. Reading Christian movie reviews from Plugged In is a great way to figure out which movies are better left unwatched. I rarely watch a movie without first reading the review. I can’t tell you how much money, time, and brain cells I have saved by doing that.

Let’s chat about this…

I know this was kind of an off-the-wall topic…I just felt really prompted to write about it. I would love to hear your thoughts, questions, and feedback!

But first, let me ask you a few questions.

  • Do you feel awkward watching passionate make out scenes? If so, why. If not, why? Share your answer with me in the comment section.
  • How do you typically react when an intimate scene appears on the screen? Why?
  • Do you need to make any changes in your movie choices?

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Jocelyn Lehman

young couple | girl Defined

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  • Hannah Grant

    Thank you, Kristen, great post! I don’t know, I’ve always felt kinda awkward watching people passionately kiss, on movies or in real life. Sometimes, in movies, I think it’s kind of sweet, but most of the time it’s just, eh. I always just thought it was the little bit of tomboy still remaining in me (you know how your younger brothers always say, “Ewwww!!” at those scenes?)
    And, I don’t know, I have seen my parents kiss before (and not a quick half a second peck), but I think that’s just because some people are more touchy people, if you know what I mean. So, I don’t know, I think it just depends on the couple. But I do get what you’re saying, that this sort of relationship should be private, and in the right setting.

    • Thanks for sharing you thoughts Hannah and for taking the time to read this post. 🙂

  • Elizabeth Williams

    I’ve seen that Ray Comfort film you’re referring to, and I remember him asking that question. Of course, I knew that it wasn’t right to watch that stuff. but I had never thought of it quite THAT way. And you’re right, Hollywood has made it common and cheap! I feel like when I watch something that has something like that in it, I definitely have to dull my conscience during that part of it, which is not right at all for a child of God. God has really been convicting my heart about changing my standards for the stuff I watch. Even though most people would think the stuff I watch is mild, still, God is convicting me otherwise.

    • Casey

      You are right on! Weigh things in light of God’s standards and what scripture says, rather than just trying to be “a little better” than the world’s standards.

    • Melanie

      I am totally with you there girl! God has been heavy on my heart about my standards that I watch as well. But it is most definitely a good thing that He is, because He never wants us to fall away from Him, and the protection of our hearts and minds. Purity is a very beautiful thing!

    • Hey Elizabeth! Thanks for sharing… Sounds like God is doing some good work on your heart. 🙂 This topic is something I felt passionate about because so many girls struggle with impure thoughts and I’m sure much of it has to do with what we watch. Hollywood has taken things so far south that we need to realign our worldview with God’s word and make wise decisions about entertainment.

  • Jacey Faith

    Thanks for the article! I remember watching that film and it got me to thinking…I almost always skip the bad scenes in movies, but it doesn’t bother me that there is this sort of intimacy in the movie. Lately I’ve been trying to stay away from anything that openly shows things like that.

    • Thanks for sharing Jacey! To be honest, I am doing the same thing. For me, avoiding movies with intimate scenes is the best way for me to keep my mind and heart pure.

  • Anna Jones

    Awesome post, Kristen! I think its easy to fall into the trap of seeing sexuality as a common shared thing rather private as God designed. Thank you for reminding me of this!

    • Hey Anna, thanks for reading this post. And I am so grateful it was encouraging to you!

  • Camila

    Hello! This post is just an answer for me. I always feel unconfortable when some scene like that is on TV… And people see that I feel awkward… Yesterday, someone told me that some people were making fun of me at college because of this… Because while watching one movie with my class, I refused to stare at the screen when a intimate scene appeared… Well… and this post… It is an answer to me 🙂 Thanks a lot! God bless you so much!

    • Camila, I am so grateful this post spoke to you heart at just the right time! I love how God does that for us. It can be hard when people make fun of us, but that’s part of the package when we choose to follow Christ. God’s ways are not the world’s ways….so we will always be swimming against the culture. Keep fighting for what’s right!

      • Camila

        Amen! I love reading this blog… Many people don’t understand my choices, for example, about modesty… And I really fell encouraged reading your posts, girls! Jesus is so beautiful <3

        Camila from Brazil

  • Halee

    I always feel really weird whenever a kissing scene comes up. But I normally just dismiss that feeling as me being immature or that I’m the only person who feels that way. Honestly, as dumb as it sounds, I never thought about the points that you brought in this post. I need to realize that just because it’s not “real life” doesn’t mean it’s okay to watch. This was eye opening! I can’t thank you enough! 🙂

    • Hi Halee! Sounds like you were having similar thoughts like me. I’m so glad this post opened your eyes to view this topic in a new light!

  • Madeline

    This was a great post! Hollywood is even sneaking in impure scenes ino children’s movies now so it is a awesome idea to read Plugged In reviews. My parent try to remember to read them anytime we go to see a movie.

    • Hey Madeline, you’re right about Hollywood putting impure stuff in children’s movies. Some of it is subtle and mild, but sadly the wrong worldview is still there nonetheless.

  • Anni

    So do I! I feel really uncomfortable watching people make out (no matter whether real life or movie)! I don’t wanna have these pictures in my mind that make me have fantasies about having a boyfriend because I know the time for this hasn’t come yet.

    • Hey Anni! I’m actually glad you feel uncomfortable about watching intimate scenes. That’s the right way to feel because intimate scenes are not meant to watched as entertainment. Keep plugging yourself into truth! Staying pure in this day and age isn’t easy.

  • Abby

    I couldn’t agree more! Whenever my family and I are happily watching a movie and an innapropriate scene comes on, I feel really awkward. My brother is a big fan of Ray Comfort and tunes in to a bunch of his videos and movies. In fact, I remember my family watching that movie one night. It was incredible. I also like that website Plugged In! It’s very helpful in considering what films to watch and the ones we should guard ourselves from. Great post! 🙂
    It is really needed in our culture today.

    • Hi Abby, so glad this post was helpful to you. Thanks for reading it! Plugged In is an amazing resource. You can find out exactly what scenes are in movies and know which ones to avoid. 🙂 Keep pursuing purity and truth!

  • Sarah

    Wonderful post, Kristen! Like you said.. I always felt awkward too, however, I really never looked at it that way before.. Definitely something I will remember and bring back to mind when those type of circumstance come up. Thanks for sharing!

  • Kwini Acosta Altamia

    Awkward. Uncomfortable i usually forward or skip the scenes I just don’t want those scenes ruin my mind. Profound enough, thank you for this, rebuked but thankful enough.. Love the Lord our God with all mind and that also means to use our minds that will glorify God. Thank you for reminding us through this article.. We have to choose carefully of the movie we watch and keep our thoughts away from impurities. Grace be with you always. Now i will be even more careful

  • Rae

    Awesome post!!!! Totally agree!! Thought I was the only one who felt this way. Thank you for this post. Blessings in Christ!

  • Elisabeth

    Ya know, personally,when I think about know it was a little shamful,but up in till a year ago If I knew the show I was watching was generally decent, I would wait and see if I had to turn it, usually I never did, but it never past my bystanders “oh, that’s a little much” except for one show which I felt I almost had to turn all the time.Got story not so good romance if you can even call it that.But back to the point,Now as I look back as I realise how very comfortable, even almost excited I some time was to see “okay now when he gonna kiss the girl,okay what’s gonna happen next”Not that anything I was watching was ever over the PG level, but you would be surprised at how much they try to sneak it, or sometimes get by with.To. be perfectly honest up in till about a year ago,I was just in love with love(on tv) and never really stopped to question my self.I’d watch fan vids of the couples of my favorite shows maby not makeing out,but doing a whole lot of kissing,and I never really thought it wrong.In till I just started to reach back to God, and he has worked such wonders in my life!!Once I started to realize certain things I knew that watching as much as the The Level was not gonna cut it ,and I wanted to change.So I have been, I know realize even to much kissing sort aught creep people out if they see it enough.Happening was God’s help been able to fully try and turn my life over to him, I felt such better, now I’m just wasting my time and focusing in God as the only one who’s love aught to be watched!!Thank you so much for your article!!As always the best even though love to this extent had not been as much my problem,I have no officially solved a question in my mind with God’s help,That on tv”Even if the characters suposially get married that doesn’t entitle them to a make out seen,sure you may think, but the’ve had a good relegation ship up to this point , and there married now, aren’t they untitled to something, “We’ll has any one ever thought aren’t the people that play them untitled to something,they aren’t really married and so since forth, even to be acting it is sin in God’s eyes.Love is a beautiful thing, which really shouldn’t be shown on tv at least not to this extent.

    • Elizabeth Williams

      You’re right. Hollywood has a way of making things so subtle that you don’t even realize how bad the content is or how it may be negatively affecting you. Ugh

  • jiujitsulover

    What is the Ray Comfort film called that has this topic in it?

    • Elizabeth Williams

      I’ve seen it and I’m pretty sure it’s called Noah and the Last Days 🙂

  • Rachel

    Wow so true I know my parents keep me as shielded as possible to this kind of stuff but i do also feel awkward about this as well.Thank you Girl Defined

  • badkitty61

    Well, honestly, I often do feel uncomfortable and I feel it’s none of my business. My husband and I don’t understand why Hollywood was able to make great movies in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s without all this stuff and they can’t now…

  • Maize

    What a relief to have stumbled across this article. At 22, I thought that I should get over being bashful about kissing scenes. But, hey, the Holy Spirit was using those feelings to try to point me in a God-glorifying direction! I find it so hard to always be the ‘conservative’ person- the one who is always leaving the room or theatre if the show is bad or turning the radio station if an inappropriate song comes on. I have compromised so many times just to avoid being labeled as the prude or party pooper. I have been miserable for a few years now, all because a few ‘small’ compromises gave way to many more down the road. God has used this article in my life in that it encouraged me to do the right thing, even if it’s the hard thing (cliche, I know). God bless and keep it up!

    • Melissa Frazier

      I am right there with you. i stuck to my guns about watching stuff like this all through high school but then in college I let them sleep badly. To the point when I had a talk with my roommate about the fact that her boyfriend and her pda bothered me she pointed out that I watched way more intimate stuff than what they were doing on tv. I didn’t know how to respond then because it was true. But now, looking back at 24 I can see where I have let my walls down and let stuff like this into my life and the effect it has not only on me but also on my witness.

      • totallylol

        wow. awesome testimony! never really thot about my actions in the little stuff can really talk loud on my witness to others!

  • Lauren

    So true! I like skipping the “full on romance” for most movies – why watch it, right? Makes sense to fill our mind with better stuff.

  • totallylol

    sometimes it feels like every movie i ever watch has some kind of kissing in it! or some sort of romance! soo… should i skip watching movies period??

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  • Kristen P

    Wow! So glad I found this post. Thank you so much, Kristen. It explains so much now! 🙂 I do feel awkward and now I know why! 🙂 I guess I do need to be more careful with what movies I watch. Thank you! 🙂

  • Elizabeth

    Thanks!
    I now know why I feel awkward! I can not stand watching movies like that!
    Thanks again Kristen!

  • Armando Palacios

    This is so funny. All the basic arguments on this article are biased. Love is natural, whether is man to man, woman to woman, or woman to man, whether is public or intimate, theres nothing to be ashame on it. If people thinks that kissing is meant to do in the intimate, it´s just because people lives under the social construction that suits them the best for their on prejudice

  • Hannah B

    Yes , yes, yes!!!! I remember literally running from the room when in Lord of the rings two of the characters were kissing.. I HATE kissing scenes in movies, or books

  • Sue

    I totally agree. Kissing in movies (anything more than a peck) is so cringey. I always think about what the actors are thinking at that moment. And watching it with a group would be super uncomfortable.

  • Esther Sentosa

    yeah I totally agree with this. Its so hard for me to look away though. Its a battle and its super hard to win.

  • Anna

    I’ve always been very uncomfortable with those parts in movies. Although at times it is hard for me to look away as well.
    Plugged In is great. My family always reads the reviews on there before watching a movie.


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