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A Popular Way to Lose Your Respect as a Girl

By: Kristen Clark

I was at our local grocery store the other day in the checkout aisle when I saw her. I had never seen anything this disturbing in my grocery store before.

There she was, right in front of my eyes without a shirt on. I’m not exaggerating here. Thankfully she was wearing jeans…but she was shirtless!

I glanced back and forth to see if anybody standing around me was as shocked as I was.

Not a blink.

Nobody seemed to care a bit. Frustration began to well up inside of me. Why would a family friendly grocery store allow this shirtless woman to parade herself down the checkout aisle?! There are little children and unsuspecting fathers being exposed to her nakedness.

I finally made it out of the store and was shaken up to say the least.

“Where has our dignity gone as females?” I thought to myself.

As shocking as it was for me to see a topless woman in my grocery store, I am grateful for two things: 1. She was on a magazine cover and not there in person. 2. She was using her arm to partially cover her nakedness.

Ever since that day I’ve been thinking more and more about the whole idea of “women’s respect.” As 21st century girls, we verbally demand respect from the people around us and we get mad if we’re not valued as dignified human beings.

We want other people to treat us with such high respect, and yet, we don’t even respect ourselves.

The sexual liberation movement.

Thanks to the sexual liberation movement, we are now taught that “girl power” is the freedom to show off all our skin. “We’re finally liberated from the bonds of modesty and free to sexually flaunt ourselves in any way we want!” Says our culture.

It used to be that Playboy and pornographic websites were looked upon with shame by women all across the world. It was considered a huge disgrace that girls were flaunting their bare bodies for men to lust after. Fast forward a few years and many of these companies have women filling their CEO position.

From famous celebrities down to the average girl on the street, Americans have almost completely lost the value and self-respect that modesty brings.

As Mary Kassian points out, “Nowadays, there is little difference between the appearance of a prostitute and the appearance of what the world upholds as a sexy, attractive woman.”

The more we uncover, the more we lose.

Our culture teaches us that “if you want to be hot, show what you’ve got.” Their worldview tells us that nakedness should be publicly embraced and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it. They promise us lofty messages with their sexual liberation message…but what they fail to mention is the fine print.

The very thing most girls and women want is to be valued and respected, but sadly, that is the very thing we’re throwing away. By exposing our most intimate body parts for anyone to see, we’re training the world to view us as “objects” instead of dignified humans.

When we sell our nakedness on the front of magazines, we are training men (and women) to view us an item to be purchased. The more we uncover our bodies the more we throw away our dignity.

When we don’t value and protect our own nakedness, we are unconsciously training men to do the same. When we expose our most intimate body parts for the general public to see, we cheapen their value. A treasure is only called a treasure because it’s valuable and rare.

God created girls to be beautiful.

One thing I want to make very clear here is that our female beauty and sexuality is not the enemy here. In fact, one of the most beautiful things about being a girl is that God designed us to be just that – beautiful. There is nothing wrong with our beauty and our sexuality at its core.

Our sinful world has taken what God designed to be sacred and precious turned it into something common and cheap.

God has actually given us girls the ability (and desire) to be sexually alluring and enticing to the opposite gender. However, this allure isn’t for any man out there. He created us this way for the purpose of captivating one guy – our husband.

Proverbs 5:19b is talking to husbands about their wives and says, “May you always be captivated by her love.” This verse can also be translated to say, “may you always be intoxicated, exhilarated, and ravished by her love.”

Save your sexual allure for one man.

God is the creator of sexual allure and He had a specific purpose for how it should be used. The world will tell you to use your sexual allure to attract guys and to gain attention, but that is only selling yourself short.

Dannah Gresh says, “God’s intended purpose for you as a carefully crafted masterpiece is to intoxicate one man with the fullest extent of your beauty. That’s the bull’s-eye. When you dress immodestly, you create arousal in many men. That is missing the mark.”

Your sexual allure is a gift from God for the purpose of totally intoxicating your future husband. When you wear immodest clothes and arouse any guy passing by, you are using your sexual allure in an ungodly way.

Your body is extremely valuable, so treat it with respect.

As a Christian girl your body is more than just the beautiful artwork of God, it’s actually the temple of God. “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Cor. 6:19-21).

We should treat our bodies with great respect and dignity because the Holy Spirit lives inside of us. By respecting God’s temple through pure actions and dress, we bring honor to God.

Don’t buy into the lies of our culture that “sexual freedom” is the best route to go. It’s a dead end road that will only leave you hungry for more. Instead, use your beautiful body to glorify God by placing value on your nakedness and saving your sexual allure for one man.

What about you?

  • Are you enticed by the culture’s message to “flaunt what you’ve got”? If so, why?
  • In what ways are you tempted to “allure” guys with your beauty?
  • Do you view modesty as a tool that places value on your most intimate parts?
  • Since your body is God’s temple, in what ways should you respect it?

 Photo credit: | MFer Photography

Girl with Sunglasses on


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