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The Problem With Constantly Comparing Yourself to Other Girls

By: Bethany Beal

My friend and I sat on the floor with our legs crisscrossed. My friend was getting married in just a few short months, and I had flown out to visit her before she entered the married season of life.

After a few minutes of light hearted chit-chat, our conversation took on a more serious tone.

My friend went on to explain to me that she has constantly struggled with comparing herself to the Victoria Secret models. Although she understands that God is the author of beauty, she sighed and said, “It’s just hard not compare myself to them.”

Our conversation turned into a great time of refocusing on the truth. We reminded each of who God is and what He says about us in the Bible.

Looking back on that conversation I am reminded that we, as christian girls, still get caught up in the comparison game. Despite that we know our Designer and understand His truth, we still struggle with comparison and how we “measure up.”

I am guilty of doing the same thing at times.

Whenever I take my eyes off of God’s design for me and lock my focus on what the world has to say, I grow discontent with my lack of “perfection.” One tiny pimple, bit of cellulite, or bad hair day, and I fail to match up to the perfectly photoshopped models.

I know that Satan wants us to buy into the lies. The lies that our beauty is based upon our outward appearance and that our worth is only as good as our cutest outfit.

We must reject the lies and stop playing the comparison game.

We need to refocus on the basics in Scripture and remind ourselves of God’s truth.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14

That verse reminds me that God is my Designer. He created me exactly the way that He wanted me to look. If He wanted me to be shorter (I’m 6’1), He would have made me shorter. If God had wanted me to have brown eyes instead of blue, I would have brown eyes.

As a uniquely crafted child of God, I can rest assured that the color of my eyes, color and texture of my hair, my height and body type were all a part of God’s design for me.

He created me exactly the way that He wanted me to look.

When I remember those truths, I am refreshed to know that I don’t have to compete with Hollywood’s one hundred hottest. I can trust that God knew exactly what He was doing when He created “my inmost being.”

I love what Mary Kassian has to say about beauty in her book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild

“The Lord wants His girls to be stunningly beautiful. But He repeatedly stressed that a woman’s beauty (and her beautification) is something that primarily happens on the inside. ‘Do not let your adorning be external … but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart’ (1 Pet. 3:4). The heart is where we put on Christ and the clothing of Christ. A wise woman commits more time and energy dressing herself up on the inside than on the outside.”

Are you caught up in comparing yourself to the girls on the magazines and in the movies?

Do you spend countless hours stressing and worrying over your outward appearance?

Remember, the world’s standards of beauty are always changing.

It’s a never-ending fight. When you choose to gratefully accept the way that God designed you, your heart and life will go from discontent to truly satisfied.

“Once we exchange the world’s value system for Christ’s eternal priorities, we can begin to reflect the beauty of heaven.” -Leslie Ludy

Is there anything in your life that constantly tempts you to compare yourself to culture’s standards of beauty?

What can you do to get rid of that source of temptation?


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15 Responses to The Problem With Constantly Comparing Yourself to Other Girls

  1. Mikayla says:

    I think we all struggle we this. It is a real eye opener, Bethany! Thank you for posting!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    Thank you Bethany! I really struggle with this sometimes and I just wonder how not to! I really appreciated this post!

  3. Thanks for sharing this, Bethany! I don’t struggle so much with comparing myself to models and such, but more to my friends. :/ It can sometimes be a constant struggle. This was was very encouraging, though! Thanks again!

  4. JustBabs says:

    This is a reminder – time to our eyes on things above – its possible to a live without eny, comparison and coveteousness when we spend time with Him and beautify our inside..thank u

  5. Grace says:

    Thanks for this great post, Bethany! I, too, struggle often with comparing myself to other girls around me. I spend far too much time worrying about my outward appearance, and not about what truly matters. This post has been an encouraging reminder to me that I need to focus on cultivating inner beauty as described in God’s Word and not stress over my outward appearance. I love knowing that God purposefully made us all beautiful and unique in different ways. Thanks again for the reminder!(:

  6. Christina says:

    Thankyou so much for the post! 🙂 I always struggle with what people think of me, and lately I have been forgetting that I am loved. It can be hard, my sisters often tell me I should where more makeup and worry about my physical appearance. 🙁 ….I Found myself feeling really down, and worthless. I read the verse and looked in the mirror, “God loves me and I am beautiful.” 🙂 It reminded me that I am worthy and wonderfully made. 🙂

  7. Kaela Schultz says:

    Thank you sooooooo much!

  8. Hope Hemsley says:

    Great post Bethany! I find myself constantly comparing myself to other girls, sometimes even my friends, and I forget that God created me to be different, and that He loves me just the way I am. Thank you!

  9. Lindsay says:

    Agree 100% with this but what would you say to the girl who suffers with terrible acne . I don’t think God would wish that on anybody . Just got that from the “one tiny pimple” line , because for some people, just one pimple would be a blessing .

    • Jesusfreak17 says:

      “The Lord wants His girls to be stunningly beautiful. But He repeatedly stressed that a woman’s beauty (and her beautification) is something that primarily happens on the inside. ‘Do not let your adorning be external … but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart’ (1 Pet. 3:4). The heart is where we put on Christ and the clothing of Christ. A wise woman commits more time and energy dressing herself up on the inside than on the outside.”
      I hate pimples too, I have a lot myself. (One in particular is really annoying right now!) But eventually, they will fade. Inner beauty or lack thereof won’t. Even when you’re old and gray you will be beautiful. You can be (sounds like you already are) beautiful on the inside. Or you can be the hottest girl on the block and be really ugly on the inside.

    • Jade says:

      I also struggle/d with acne pretty terribly. But just after my 14th birthday (about six months ago) I was researching about how what you eat affects your skin. I came across this amazing website called Clear Skin Forever. Yes, the eBook is $38, but I bought it and it has seriously changed my life. No, I haven’t implemented absolutely everything, but enough that all I have left are some red marks that hopefully will fade, along with occasional one/two pimples. I know this is random but I know the desperation you feel when you wake up for church and feel like you don’t even want to go because of your face. It’s a good lesson in learning to fully rely on a Godly spirit for your beauty, but it is really nice to have clear skin. Haven’t fully achieved that but I then again I am 14 (like, a really bad age for acne, hey!). But the principles in Clear Skin Forever have worked so well for my face and many others’. I would encourage you to search for it on google. I hope Kristen and Bethany don’t think I’m spamming or anything because I just recommended something to someone else! But when I find a good thing I really want to help others with it!!!

  10. Wow, thanks for that reminder. It’s so easy for me to compare myself to others but this really helped to remind me that I need to focus on the inward not the outward. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Morgan P says:

    Could you please do a post on how to deal with/overcome the sin of vanity?


  12. Natasha Silcock says:

    I can really relate to this. I have been guilty of staring at women (and I’m absolutely straight!) comparing their bodies to mine. They keep catching me (women seem to have a radar in this area – they know when someone is checking them out) and if they happen to work in a place where I go regularly (like the library or supermarket) they glare at me every time they see me. I’m convinced they think I’m a lesbian ogling them, which is very embarrassing for me as I find homosexuality disgusting and totally against God’s plan for sexuality.
    I used to look at bikini clad women online when the captions at the sides of articles I was reading would scream ‘Check out —— ‘s perfect body as she parades her new swimwear on the beach!’ Then I’d read all the comments after comparing her body to mine. It was wrong and I now no longer do it. We shouldn’t be looking at undressed bodies anyway, men’s or women’s, much less making comparisons and being dissatisfied. Or reading men’s salacious comments about the beach beauties. Our bodies are not for public display and we shouldn’t be looking at nearly naked people even if it isn’t for sexual reasons. The only people we should be looking at in an undressed state is our spouse.
    If we compare ourselves to anyone on earth (and it’s so easy to do) we will always be dissatisfied. We will always be prettier than some, and less pretty than others. If we measure our worth by any other yardstick other than God’s, we will never have peace. It’s something I’m trying to learn how to do.

  13. Natasha Silcock says:

    I mean, it’s something I’m trying to learn NOT to do – judge myself by any other yardstick than God’s.

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