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Why I Quit Trying to Make Everyone Like Me

By: Bethany Baird

A few weeks ago I did an online personality test with my younger sister Ellissa and a good friend of ours. Ellissa randomly came across a free online site and thought it would be fun to try it out.

The website nailed each of our personalities.

Mine was “entertainer.” Apparently I’m a total extrovert and thrive on being the life of the party. I think my family and most of my friends would agree with that.

What struck me most during the survey was a hidden piece of my personality that came to light. The survey asked a question along the lines of, “do you worry about what people think?”

That question stopped me in my tracks. In a matter of seconds I had a whirlwind of thoughts shoot through my mind.

I went through a mental checklist of what I worry about and what I don’t.

I don’t really worry about what people think of my physical appearance.
I don’t really care if people like or dislike my life plans and goals.
I don’t really mind if people think my beliefs are too conservative or just plain crazy.

I’m usually pretty good about brushing that stuff off, but the answer doesn’t end there.

Although I don’t tend to worry about those specific things, I do worry. Here are thoughts that tempt me to worry.

“I wonder if that was the right thing to say…they will probably think I’m crazy.”

“Ughggh maybe I was too energetic and overwhelmed the group.”

“I wonder if people think I’m under qualified spiritually to run a Christian blog.”

“Maybe I should try and talk less. Maybe I should ask fewer questions. Maybe, maybe, maybe…”

Those are the thoughts that tempt me to worry.

My biggest worry struggle comes down to this one thing: being overly concerned with others opinions of my personality and my character.

There is a very fine line in my heart over desiring to become more like Christ in those two areas, and doing it for the approval of others. I don’t want nods of approval to became my source of motivation. I don’t want to live for the “likes” of others. I don’t want to stress over making everyone like me.

It’s too hard, too stressful and straight up not God’s desire for me or anyone else.

Where our focus should be.

As Christian girls our focus should not be on trying to please everyone around us or on trying to get everyone to like us.

Why?

Because it’s never going to happen. We can’t please everyone. We can’t make everyone like us. Eventually someone will find a reason to nit pick or criticize. It’s just the way life works.

Not to mention God never commands us to get people to like us. He never encourages us to live for the approval of anyone but Himself.

Here are a few verses that give us this reminder:

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Colossians 3:23

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

Quit trying to make everyone like you.

My personal goal is to quit trying to make everyone like me. I want to challenge you to do the same as well.

Imagine how much more peaceful and enjoyable life would be if we lived to please and honor Christ and then left the results up to Him.

Don’t get me wrong, I think being well liked by those around you is a good and fine thing. But it can quickly become a problem if worry comes in to play.

Our biggest concern shouldn’t be whether people like us or dislike us. Our biggest concern should be representing Christ well.

That is really the bottom line in all of this. Do we strive to represent Christ well and then leave the results to Him? Or, do we live for and worry about the approval of others?

I want to challenge you to join me in giving up this “check of approval” dilemma. I don’t know what you worry about or how you try to win the approval of others. But what I do know is this:

If you live for the approval of humans (in any area of life) you will always be a worrier. You will always be second guessing yourself. You will always be trying to conform to the popular standard.

Will you join me and quit trying to make everyone (or even just one person) like you?

It’s time to refocus our hearts on Christ and make sure that we are living for the approval of One.

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | photopin

Why I Quit Trying to Make Everyone Like Me

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  • Emma

    what was the name of the website where you took the quiz? By the way i love your post. 🙂

    • I know this is late, but it’s probably the Myer-Briggs test (16 personalities). They have an entertainer personality, and one of the questions is about how much you care about what others think 🙂

  • Elizabeth

    Bethany, I admire your goal! I also have the goal of living for Christ alone. My mom reminded me this week, that if our friends reject us because of our stand for Jesus, they are really rejecting Jesus. Those are great verses that you mentioned! I’ve been going through some trials the last two weeks and this post has encouraged me for what is coming tomorrow!
    1 Peter 1:1-8

  • Elizabeth Williams

    This is something that God has really been speaking to my heart about lately. I am really bad about trying to get people to approve of me outwardly(my style, my hair,etc.) I have to continually pray that God would help me to keep my focus. I have to continually keep my eyes on Him instead of everyone else. And even though I am getting much better at this, I still have a long way to go. And I still get “off” sometimes and have to let God rein me back in 🙂

  • Melea

    Thank you so much for this! It is so encouraging! 🙂 I struggle with this alot, especially as far as trying to dress like everyone else. I know that it doesn’t matter what I look like or what people think about me, it is just a constant struggle! I’m in this with you 😉

  • Allie

    Thank you for sharing this!! Just yesterday I was praying about this. Sometimes I just want to be “the best,” I want every want to notice how friendly, or kind, or spiritual I´m. Sometimes, it drives me mad when someone seems better than me. But the Lord has been conviting me that He is the One who bought me, and I must live for Him.I want to be a godly and holy life to please Him, and Him alone. And if He gives me grace before men, I will be thankful.
    So my prayer is that He may help me to do my best for Him always. It doesn´t matter if I´m criticized or ignored.

  • Lisa Wright

    WOW, my daughter is sooooo struggling with this exact thing. I can’t wait for her to read this, it is a God send to our family…

  • thank you!

  • Annika Smith

    I worry too much about what my teachers and classmates will think of me – whether I’m smart, whether I’m a nerd, whether I’m an overachiever, whether when I miss an assignment I was slacking off, etc. It is good to be reminded of what really matters.

  • Melanie

    I needed to hear this today. I’m currently struggling with the same thing. Whenever I talk to people I’m constantly questioning whether I said the right thing. I worry too much about what others think of me.
    It seems like a lot of women deal with the same problem. Thank you for your encouraging words. Please continue to do what you’re doing. This blog is impacting lives for Christ.

  • Renee

    This really helped me, thank you Kristen and Bethany for always being there and spreading the truth 🙂


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