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Who Will Raise Your Babies: Daycare or Mommy?

By: Bethany Beal

I’ll never forget this day. I was a teenage girl, fresh new driver, and I had just pulled into the school parking lot to pick up some kiddos I was babysitting.

After parking my car I noticed that the alarms at the school were going off and the teachers were bringing all of the kids into the parking lot. The teachers quickly informed all of the onlooking parents that this was a mandatory practice fire drill and there was no need to be concerned.

I stood in the parking lot and waited for the teachers to get all of the kids through the gates.

What I didn’t realize was that this particular school also doubled as a daycare. To my surprise the teachers began wheeling out rollable cribs filled with babies.

Tiny babies and toddlers literally filled each crib as the teachers rolled them out to practice the fire drill.

As I looked inside each one of those barred rollable cribs, I couldn’t help but feel a knot in my stomach for each one of those babies. They literally looked like caged animals. It was such an unnatural sight.

I don’t know how the other onlooking parents felt, but I was completely saddened by the sight.

Dozens of babies, spending the best hours of the day, cramped inside stuffy classrooms away from their moms.

Although I don’t know the reasons behind why every baby was there, I can’t help but assume that many were there because of the modern mindset of American woman today. The mindset that women should work full time even if they have young children in the home. The mindset that being a full time mom is “less than” being a career woman. The mindset that it’s normal, acceptable and commendable to drop your babies off monday-friday to allow a daycare center to raise them.

Despite the fact that it’s normal, and even commendable to have a daycare centers raise the babies, I hope and pray that our generation of Christian girls will do differently with our future babies.

Let’s dare to think outside the box (or the daycare walls) and plan for a better future.

If the Lord chooses to bless me with a husband and then children, I personally would like to be the one to raise my children. After all, God did give them to me. Why should I give them to someone else for 8-9 hours each day? No thanks.

If at all possible, I hope and pray I can be the one to rock them to sleep, kiss their boo-boos and cuddle with them when they’re unhappy.

If the Lord blesses you with a husband and then children, who will care for your babies? Will you be the one to love on them, care for them, and train them up? Or, will someone else?

When we take a step back and look at God’s design and relationship between mother and baby, it’s breathtaking.

The mother is the one who carries the baby inside of her for 9 months. The mother is the one who sustains life for almost a year of the baby’s existence inside of her. The mother is the one who painfully gives birth to her child. The mother is the one who feeds the baby from her own body. The mother is the one who has a connection with the baby like no one else in the world does.

Is that accidental? I think not.

God is the creator and mastermind behind that design. He intentionally created this incredible dynamic between mother and child. I can’t imagine that He would create this amazing bond between mother and baby if it had no meaning.

I believe that God’s very best is to have mothers taking care of their babies.

Let’s not allow the modern mindset of motherhood dictate our futures. Let’s bravely break free from the norm and dare to give our babies something better. To give them our love. To be the ones who hold them when they cry, kiss them till they laugh, and rub their bellies as they fall asleep.

Let’s embrace the incredible, God-given relationship between babies and mommies and fulfil that high and holy calling to the best of our ability.

In closing I want you to ask yourself this question.

Lord willing, who will raise your future children?

P.S. I realize that due to difficult circumstances not all mommies are able to stay home with their babies. Although that’s sad, it’s the reality for some. The entire goal of this post is simply to encourage future mommies to think and plan ahead.

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110 Responses to Who Will Raise Your Babies: Daycare or Mommy?

  1. Sandra says:

    I’m thinking about this a lot. Especially the last few weeks. I made my decision when I was only in middle school: one day, when I have children, I would raise them myself. My mom did the same. When my father was working, she was there for my brother and me. When we grew older, went to school, she had some part time jobs, but was always there when we came home from school. My brother and I never went to a daycare.

    Like I said, the last few weeks (even months) I’ve been thinking more of all this. I think I want to go one step further: I’m thinking of home schooling my own kids, when God blesses me with some. Even though it’s quite onusual in the Netherlands to homeschool your children. But with everything changing in schools, I think I won’t feel that comfortable leaving my kids over there.

    But now I have a question: I know some girls who think exactly the same about this as I do, but who are childminders (is that the right word?). I wonder how that fit, because in my opinion, they encourage the mommies to work and have a job. I wonder how you think of this. And maybe even more important: how does God think of this?

    • Grace says:

      Great thoughts! I think as far as being a nanny or all day babysitter and it encouraging the parent to continue, I think it depends on the parents or individual situation. Having been an all day babysitter for two parents who had a business together, and having frequently helped my nanny friend I have always seen it as a ministry, both to the parents and the children. To the parents you get to show them the love and joy that can be had when you stay at home and care for the children, and for the children you can care and love them as bed as you can, which is something that depending on who is caring for them, they may not get. An over all it is a way to show the love of Christ to a family, to answer questions about who inspires your love and joy in children and being home with them, and that can change much in a parents life. When my nanny friend was working with one family I slowly saw the parents desire to be with the child more and more grow, they now care for the children by themselves as far as I know.

    • Hailey says:

      Hey Sandra! I’m sixteen and work five days a week as a nanny for a family where both parents work. As Grace said below, my goal and mission is to show Christ to this family. They are not Christians. I started this job last August and since the moment the opportunity came up, I have felt very strongly that it was God’s will for me to be working with this family. 🙂 And I think it’s awesome that you want to homeschool your kids someday!

  2. thehappygirl says:

    I’m ashamed to say that all through college I had the whole “career woman” mindset. I decided if I ever had children they’d either go to daycare or to my mom’s. Heaven forbid me staying home with children. No, I was going to have a career. Thankfully, I’ve realized how foolish and against God’s design that is!! As I become closer to Christ, my desires have and are changing. I don’t want a career. I want to be a wife and mother. A homemaker. If the Lord allows me to have children, I want to train them up in the way they should go. Great post Bethany! Thought provoking as always 🙂

    • First Amendment says:

      It’s not shameful to want a career. It’s not shameful to not want kids. It’s fine to stay home, but please recognize why you’re staying home. God does not send wrath upon women who pursue careers– the Bible was divinely inspired, but written by men.

  3. Talya says:

    Super great post! I really loved this! I have so much fun around children that I want to be the one to raise them. I love when I see the girls I babysit get excited about seeing there moms! And I realize that it’s because they’ve grown up with their moms! Thanks again for this great post Bethany

  4. Hailey says:

    Good post. I think a lot about this. I’m currently a nanny five days a week for a family with two kids where both parents work. So that’s a better middle ground than daycare, at least. But I don’t want my kids to ever have to go to daycare when I’m an adult. I plan to be a foster parent and a missionary, so I’m hoping my schedule will be flexible and that even if my kids go to public school I’ll be able to have them the rest of the time.

  5. Karen Rittle says:

    As a stay at home mom, I feel compelled to tell you that being a stay at home mom has been the single greatest blessing that I have ever received! I am so grateful for God and to my wonderful husband (who has felt VERY pressured over the years to be the sole breadwinner, which has not been easy and we had to make many sacrifices financially, but has maintained his commitment to have his children cared for by their mother). Every penny we have pinched has been so worth it!! Planning ahead is SO very important! Our family is so close because of our time spent together. My children are so thankful to have the support and guidance and company of a stay at home mom! Our culture has the wrong values!! Connection to God, the blessing of walking on His path, and connections with family are soooo important!

    When I was younger, I thought I would be a stay at home mom because that is best for the children. Even though I LOVED children, I bought into the lie that being a stay at home mom is not stimulating or satisfying for the mom!! I have never been so wrong in my life. It IS best for my kids, but God also knows that it IS best for me, too! I have found mothering to be an amazing experience for me. It is physically, intellectually, and spiritually challenging and stimulating. It has been perfect for my growth as a person. I love being a mom, and have found it to be infinitely more rewarding than any other job I have had (and I had several really good jobs!) It is the hardest and best job ever, and I cannot say enough about the importance of listening to God’s plan for you and not be world’s.

  6. Naomi says:

    I don’t mean to hate on this post, but I work at a daycare, specifically in the infant room and there is no way to bring the children out quickly when you have 12 children and only 3-4 teachers. Each teacher can not carry 3-4 babies at a time. They put them in the cribs in order to remove them from an emergency faster. When they are normally at the day care during the day, they are not in the cribs like that. They are free to play on the floor and move around. While it is better for a mother to raise her children, the daycare is not as bad as you are making it sound, especially for single parents.

    • Violin with Feet says:

      Yes! I don’t mean to hate this post either:) but I think it’s hard to understand people’s situations, a single mom or dad could have a hard time working and taking care if their child. It’s not right to clump all parents who put their kids in daycares saying that they aren’t sufficient or good parents.

    • Sarah Shaw says:

      I, too, work in a daycare in the infants room. Naomi is exactly right…daycare isn’t as bad as some might make it out to be. 🙂 Thanks for this post, Bethany! Very thought provoking and right on. 🙂

    • GirlDefined says:

      Hey! Thanks for sharing an inside perspective. I do agree that there are daycares that strive to give the children the best care that they can. I know there are many women who work in daycares who genuinely love the children and do the very best they can for them. Even so, I personally believe that Christian mommies should do everything they can to take care of their babies. Thanks for joking in the discussion! It’s great to have differing thoughts and perspectives. -Bethany

  7. Elizabeth Williams says:

    One thing that aggravates me is how you hear so many young girls say “I’ve searched the Bible, and I don’t see anywhere where it says women are to stay home.” Um, have you read the New Testament?? lol I can’t remember the exact verse, but the Bible does say that women are to be the keepers of the home. How is this not obvious? Love your post!

    • Violin with Feet says:

      Hey Elizabeth! My name is Kate:) I’d just like to say that while the Bible does favor the idea of stay at home moms, God does not plan for all women to get married and have children. Many He desires to be single and in the workforce. God calls multiple woman to all walks of life and we are not to shame any of them:) My calling is to be a missionary in Lebanon and Rwanda, I have prayed to God that will give me peace when He calls me to singleness. I pray that you will be at peace with whatever calling God gives you:)

      • Elizabeth Williams says:

        Thanks for the reply! I love that you have a heart for missions! I’m sorry, I realize I should have clarified a bit more lol I was specifically speaking of girls who are planning on getting married and having kids, and still saying they don’t have to stay home 🙂 You’re totally right! There are some ladies who God has a special calling for, and they never marry, or maybe marry and never are blessed with children. And God can use them in awesome ways!

        • Violin with Feet says:

          Yes indeed. I wish singleness was more recognized in the church though. It’s seen as a curse. I have found peace with the fact that I shouldn’t constantly pursue a husband, but the heart of my heavenly Father. I just wish that was emphasized more…


      One thing that aggravates me is how you hear so many young girls say “I’ve searched the Bible, and I don’t see anywhere where it says men can stone their adulterous wives.” Um, have you read Deuteronomy 22:23-24? The Bible does say that men can kill their cheating wives. How is that not obvious?

      (If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city.) You’re welcome. The Bible was not written by God, it was inspired by God and written by people prone to the triumphs and trials of the human condition.

      • Elizabeth Williams says:

        Hey! I would encourage to read the New Testament. There is a story of the woman who was caught in adultery. Have you read that? He showed her love and grace! That’s what our Savior wants to do for each one of us 🙂

      • Violin with Feet says:

        Hey:) If you’re looking for a reaction that will feed your pride, you aren’t going to find that here. I just want to say that Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament law and we are free from laws like the stoning of adulterous woman. In reality, we all sin. The adulterer. The cheater. Lier. Theif. And Jesus has taken the punishment for all of those sins, therefore if we repent and confess our sins, Jesus’ blood has already forgiven us. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ:)

        • BETHANY thanks for keeping it: says:

          I’m not prideful. I just find it frustrating that we choose to judge others with the basis of the Bible. Evangelism must be good news, and it must be for everyone. Christians tend to use the Bible to shame others, when Jesus teaches us above all to love one another. I would encourage Christians to pursue social justice.

    • Elizabeth M. says:

      The exact verse is Titus 2:5 if that’s the same one you were thinking of. I have Titus memorized, but I still had to look up the exact verse even though I knew what book it was in. It looks like there are several Elizabeth’s on here 🙂

      I agree with you Bethany. I plan on raising my future children. God bless!

  8. Eliza Haley says:

    Thank you so much for this article. I couldn’t agree more! Although I understand that there are some situations where the mother simply cannot stay at home with her children even if she wanted to, I truly believe that if women really reevaluated what they are considering important, they could find a way to stay at home. Many women work every day just so they can live in a slightly larger house or have a nicer car. This is such a selfish reason to have a career. I personally would so much rather have an older car and smaller home if it meant I could stay home with my children.

    • Elizabeth Williams says:

      You have a great perspective!

    • Sereina says:

      Very true! It’s sad that objects (new cars, huge houses, etc) often have a much higher value than people in our culture today. It’s all about where your priorities are; if you value it enough, you can make it work!

    • GirlDefined says:

      Eliza, great thoughts! Thanks for sharing. I think each one of us as Christian woman must constantly search our hearts and make sure we are valuing what God values. In the end “only what’s done for Christ will last.” I know I need that reminder daily 🙂 -Bethany

    • First Amendment says:

      Many woman work every day because they like working. That’s not selfish. If I should have a daughter, I would work every day so she knows it’s ok to be a working mother. That’s not selfish. If I should have a son, I would work every day so he knows that his wife doesn’t have to stay home for the kids. (Men can do that, too.)

  9. Jess says:

    This is wonderful! Too many don’t think about this until it’s too late.

    I don’t have the exact details of this anymore, but less than 10 years ago, a study was done, and even in our modern, post-feminism era, 70% of American women indicated that they wished they could stay home with their children. Many are convinced that they can not. But again and again, I have seen women in impossible situations be able to stay home with some work and with a willing husband.

    The key is to have those two things– work to figure out how to make it happen financially (usually, that’s by *not spending* money, and by learning to budget well), and having a husband who is willing.

    Hint, hint, to those of you who are not yet married: TALK ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED, and get crystal clear on this. (Don’t just assume “yeah, I’m cool with the possibility of you staying home” means he’s committed to it.) One of the saddest things that can happen as a young mother is to think your husband will be on board and listen, and then find out that he has always, only, thought you would be working, and to have to put your children in daycare or other childcare settings, while you desperately want to be raising them and watching them grow up.

    I left my “dream career” 14 years ago to be the one who is with our children, day in, day out, and I have never regretted it… these years of daily discipleship only last so long, and while the job is intense, I wouldn’t want anyone else to be doing it for me.

    Thanks for writing this!

    • First Amendment says:

      Why are only women staying home? What if the wife has a higher-paying career? Should she still be the one to raise the children, even if it means the loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars?

      Women and men are complete equals, and equality extends into the division of labor. Women should not be the ones to always stay home for children. Hint, hint to those of you who believe only women possess the ability to raise kids: PARENTAL INSTINCTS AREN’T FOREIGN TO MEN, and get crystal clear on this. Couples who equally divide the task of raising children are actually better communicators and get along better.

      • Monty says:

        My husband has been the one in our family to stay home at different points in time. He is a gifted chef and has a heart for taking care of us and our home. I have a very successful and rewarding career that has enabled us to financially spread the Good News, plant new churches, and help pay staff salaries so others can feed their families. The Lord is right in the middle of our very non -traditional family situation and we are blessed with a child who loves the Lord and his parents more than many raised in traditional SAHM families we know. There is not one way this works folks. Its what works best among the family members involved.

  10. Monty says:

    This is the most closed-minded and inconsiderate post I have seen on Girl Defined to date. Inconsiderate of those called to serve working parents in helping them love on their children, inconsiderate of dads who choose to stay home and moms who choose to work, inconsiderate of moms who work AND love on their children in ways that enable them to raise healthy God loving boys and girls, inconsiderate of the concept of family and community that support one another in the raising of the next generation of believers in God’s kingdom. Bethany I hope and pray you are fortunate enough to get what you are looking for in the way of a husband and children and that you do not to have to work to help support your family but I also hope you will recognize that not everyone, even sisters in Christ, see the world through the same lenses you wear. I also encourage you to write about things you actually have experienced rather than sitting on the side lines in judgment of your fellow sisters. Everyone walks a unique path, with unique opportunities and challenges. Being “sad” and ‘sorry’ for people because they do not choose the path you hope to get to go down one day does not make them wrong and you right. Its just plain condescending!

    • Deborah Gordon says:

      Completely agree!!

      • Monty says:

        Thanks Deborah! Praise God that you have been called to be a Doctor. I am certain should you be blessed to have children, your career will help prepare you to be an amazing mom as well!!! Blessing!!

  11. Sereina says:

    This is a good article. I couldn’t agree more! My mom not only stayed home to raise all four kids, but homeschooled us too, and that’s something I most definitely plan on doing myself if God blesses me with a husband and family someday. I’ve also decided that whoever I married would have to share the same thoughts about having a wife to stays home with the kids.

  12. J2016 says:

    While I appreciate this post, and the heart behind it, I feel it’s a little one sided. I was blessed to be a stay at home mom before my children started school, and was happy for every second of it, however, when my children were around 6 and 8 years old, I was no longer able to stay at home, because I had to get a job to help our family out financially, my husband and I are now caring for our children who are now 8 and 10, and also caring for two of our nephews who are 1 and 9. while I would like to stay at home, and possibly even homeschool again, I am currently unable to do that, but I have no doubt that it was God himself who put me in the position I am now in, and I also believe that while some daycares may not be ideal,..some of the workers were also called to that field of work just as any teachers, or even missionaries in different fields. I would like to believe that most children are in daycare because it is necessary for their mothers to work, and if given the choice, they would be at home with their children. But in the instance it is just a personal choice to have a career, and or that it brings some sort of personal fulfillment, I believe this post will be very thought provoking and is well needed. God’s plan is never “cookie cutter” though, and as long as we are doing our very best to put Him first, He will work all things out for our good , and His glory.

    • Hailey says:

      I agree! Some daycares are very excellent. Like you said, some mothers have to work; it’s not their choice. Also, I know of a few instances where the mother has actually been called into ministry and that’s why she cannot get her kids after school each day.

    • vwlover says:

      Thank you for posting this. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom and I’m sure there are mothers who would love stay home home for the very reason you stated. Or back to school. There isn’t anything wrong with being a career woman either.

      I will agree with the writer that some women (and men) do view being a stay at home mom as less than a career woman.

  13. Judy says:

    Interesting post!!! I love your perspective!! I was a nanny for a few years and work in a daycare part time. I have worked in a few, so there are definitely differing levels of quality. I love caring for these children day in and day out. However, if the Lord blesses me with a husband and children in the future i would love to stay home and raise them. i know first-hand from my job what a joy to hear their first words, see their first steps, and all the silly and sweet moments after that their parents miss out on. I know staying home is not an option for everyone, and there are great childcare centers for these families.
    When i was little, dad worked, and my mom worked a day or two a week, and I stayed with grandma. We didn’t have much, but i didn’t notice. My mom always says where there is a will there is a way.

  14. Alyssa Stephens says:

    Bethany, thank you so much for this post!! It was very bold of you to write about this topic. I am in complete agreement with everything you wrote. I understand that there are some women in certain cituations who must work outside the home to help the family survive. But I also believe a large portion of the women who say “I have to work” don’t REALLY have to work. I personally know so many women who work just so they can keep their very nice house, brand new cars, and get a two week vacation every year.. They are sacrificing 8-9 hours each day for those material things, but are missing out on those precious moments with their children.
    My mom has stayed at home with my siblings & I since I was in kindergarten & I can tell you our family has gone on about 3, weekend “vacations” the last 12 years, we don’t have a perfect house, and we don’t drive brand new vehicles. But I would not change any of that! I can’t describe what a blessing it has been growing up with my mom at home, serving her family. I would forgo all the vacations, fancy cars, & a nice house any day for that!!

    It is a daily prayer of mine that if the Lord blessed me with a husband & children i will be able to stay home with them as my mom did with me. I firmly believe our first ministry, as women, should be to our family. Aside from serving God in everything I do, I understand my family is my first ministry.

    I know this is a very controversial topic, and I know you will probably get lots of negativity from this post, so I will be praying for you as you try to sort through it all. I love Girl Defined & all that you girls stand for! Keep pressing on & seeking the Lord! Thank you again for this post!

    • Monty says:

      Differences of opinion are not negative posts. They help bring balance into the conversation. What brings negativity to posts are statements of judgment about other people’s live and choices because they are different than ones own. Especially when they come from a place of pity and a lack of experience.

  15. Sonia E Vargas says:

    I currently work at daycare and have noticed the difference in attitudes and characteristics when children do not spend quality time with their parents. For financial reasons I understand that many mothers feel they ought to work but believe our modern society has given women the impression that they MUST. To be considered “successful” they ought to pursue a career, work full time and live in a beautiful home.
    I’ll say that I’ve been blessed to work in a church daycare that considers their work a ministry and many of us feel it is our personal ministry to teach the children Godly principles (not many daycare centers do so). However, it saddens me when a parent is known to get furious when we have to call them about their sick child, or when they choose to use their off days on themselves rather than spending quality time with their children. My heart breaks when one of my student starts to call me “Mom” or say they love me more than their own mother! It ought not to be. Everyone’s family situation is different but we all ought to learn a lesson or 2 on priorities before we start a family. Great post!

  16. First Amendment says:

    The problem with gender inequality is stereotypes like this. The reason that working women make less than working men is because women are expected to be the traditional caretakers of children. Women share a disproportionate share of housework, and when a woman already has a full-time job, this unpaid work is stressful.
    For people who don’t share your convictions, this is extremely frustrating. The pay gap ultimately results in $500 billion of money PER YEAR women don’t make when they’re working. Breadwinning and homemaking are equally valuable, but they’re both for everyone. Men should be expected to share parental duties equally with his wife. Stay-at-home fathers should be as common as stay-at-home mothers.
    Gender inequality exists, and many female workers can attest to the deeply-held sexism that blinds all of us. Not all women want to stay home, and not all women want to work. Not all men want to stay home, and not all men want to work.

    • Clarissa says:

      If you want equality, then maybe women SHOULD register for the draft. How do you feel about that…?

      • First Amendment says:

        (I’d like to preface this by saying that women and men already have equality under the law, but some instances of sexism hold women back.)
        First of all, there really isn’t a need for a large standing army in the current age considering the blatant statistics that the United States already spends more on defense than the top ten countries combined (682 billion) a year, and the fact that most of the threats facing America today are cyberattacks. The fastest way to destroy the country would actually be to attack the power grid– if you’re interested in this, I can recommend a few NPR talks. We really don’t need women to be drafted simply because we don’t need more people in the armed forces. However, from an egalitarian point, I do think women should have to register for the draft. The idea that women are too weak to fight in the army is simply ludicrous. Army standards are so high that most men can’t pass them. The women selected from such a draft, assuming they qualify physically, would be every much as strong as men and able to serve our country.

      • Monty says:

        Totally support it! Citizens choosing to risk their lives in support of our country’s freedom.

    • Wasindi says:

      Hey! I understand your thoughts, but the bible clearly states that men´s main role is to protect and provide, but this doesnt mean a women is weak and cant protect herself or others, or that she cant have a job or make money on her own. It´s all about main roles, what do you think is the women´s main role?

      • First Amendment says:

        I think that it’s 2016 and the Bible was written thousands of years ago in a time when women did not have equal rights. Obviously since then, we’ve seen the guarantee of equality under the law for women with the passage of the 19th Amendment and the feminist movement of the 60s, although sexism still holds some women back. I think a Christian woman’s role is the same as a Christian man’s role: to love others. So many people pick and choose pieces of the Bible to which they cling, when the best way to analyze historical documents in a modern framework is to take the main themes and apply them to modern life. Your argument is invalid.

        • thehappygirl says:

          Hi @FirstAmendment! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are right, the Bible was written many, many years ago and women did not have the same rights as men. However, the Bible does say in a couple places that God and His Word will never change…. Psalm 119:89 (KJV) states, ” For ever, O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven.” Malachi 3:6a (KJV) states, ” For I am the Lord, I change not…”(Note: I know some make the argument that the OT doesn’t apply to us since Jesus redeemed us. It’s open to interpretation I suppose, but I believe that every part of God’s Word applies to us in some way, shape or form. He wouldn’t give us something we couldn’t use.)

          While God has specific plans for each of us, His Word still applies to us in every situation today. I feel His plan for me is to be a homemaker one day. That’s the desire of my heart, and I will be honored if that’s what He lets me be. If He wants me to be a missionary or enter into the ministry, I’ll be willing to do that as well. We just have to keep in tune with the Holy Ghost and try our best to follow God’s will for our lives.

          PS Thanks for the reply to the comment I left yesterday 🙂

        • Wasindi says:

          I don’t know who you are darling, but with all due respect, you don’t even know (clearly) what the bible is. Although the bible was written hundreds of years ago, all the bible is true and you can apply it in EVERY area of your life, including womenhood. Back then, women were treated unfairly, so this situation it’s not new “There is nothing new under the sun” Ecclesiastes. Our role is clearly stated in the bible, no gender is superior or inferior in God’s eyes, because we’re different in ROLES but we are EQUALLY valued, no matter what the 2016 year says about it. Please, I encourage you to read Proverbs 7. There are other passages in the bible that talk about our roles, but I don’t remember right now. Nevertheless, the bible never says we can’t work, in fact, proverbs 7 it’s about a women who was a businesswomen, wife and mom (not sure about the last one, please read it)

          • First Amendment says:

            I’m not sure who you think you are to suggest I do not clearly know what the Bible is. The problem with gender roles is that they were used to oppress woman throughout history– women were not allowed to work outside of the house, were shamed for not wanting children, and were abused by entitled husbands. The whole “women should stay at home” model only works in one type of family– one where women are married with children and can afford to not work; it’s hardly the standard. I’ve read Proverbs 7. I am a progressive Christian who chooses to focus more on loving others than focusing on antedated details of the Bible. Not all Christian women want or need children or a husband.

          • Wasindi says:

            And I totally agree with you, but what I’m trying to tell you is that, you have to take in count the culture. Women were besically reproduction tools for humanity, a childless women was a shame for her and her husband. That’s why Ana wanted so desperate a child and that’s when Samuel was born. But we both know that you don’t have to marry or to have children, your value doesn’t depend on that. But what this post is about is when u already have children or you’re planning to. Example, do you know Nancy L. Demoss, she was single (she recently married at her late 50s) she’s childless, but in spite of what she doesnt have, she glorifies God. Now, my point is. If you do have children, your main role as a mother is to raise them and instruct them in His word. Now, daddy can do that too, but his MAIN role is to provide to his home and to be a good leader. That’s why there is so many controversia nowadays, because people want to change roles. Nowadays, people think that the role that the bible explicitly states in it, it’s wrong, the bible is not being gender equal, and we women are inferrior to men. Remember, that God didn’t get the women from Adam’s foot to be pissed, or from his head to be above men, God took Eva from his rib, which is in the middle, to be the SAME (in VALUE).

  17. Leanne says:

    Just to set the record straight, God does show a difference between men and women’s roles in the Bible — His holy, infallible, preserved through the ages, unchanging Word which is the solid rock of truth (which even scoffers such as Voltaire could not destroy despite their hardest efforts). Adam means “man,” and Eve means “mother of all.”

    • First Amendment says:

      I’m a very liberal Christian, and one of my biggest “pet peeves,” if you will, is when people interpret the Bible literally. I’ve already expressed this quite clearly, but since this topic keeps coming up, I figured it couldn’t hurt to state the obvious yet again. God doesn’t show a difference between men and women’s roles in the Bible– its authors do. People misinterpret God’s word all the time. (This is why Christians are more known for their anti-gay rhetoric than their compassion.) It’s impossible that human authors would be completely devoid of sin so as to perfectly transcribe God’s thoughts onto paper. Biblical gender roles are not relevant two thousand years after the death of Christ; the complexity of the postmodern world and the simplicity of primordial life simply cannot mix.

      You’re completely wrong about your translations of the names, by the way. The name “Eve” derives from the Hebrew name Chawwah, which was in turn derived form the Hebrew word chawah (“to breathe”) or its relative chayah (“to live”). Eve’s name has no maternal connotations.

      You’re also wrong about your denunciation of Voltaire. Voltaire was foremost concerned with attacks on the established Catholic Church. At this time, organized religion in France censored the press, opposed religious toleration, supported the divine right of kings and endorsed slavery. Voltaire opposed the church because he saw it as inherently sinful. Voltaire was actually a huge advocate of religious toleration. His critique of the Bible was obviously driven by his hatred of the Catholic Church, but his opinion on the Bible was more mixed than one would think. He noticed many of the mistakes that Christians made when interpreting the scriptures too literally:

      “It is characteristic of fanatics who read the holy scriptures to tell themselves: God killed, so I must kill; Abraham lied, Jacob deceived, Rachel stole: so I must steal, deceive, lie. But, wretch, you are neither Rachel, nor Jacob, nor Abraham, nor God; you are just a mad fool, and the popes who forbade the reading of the Bible were extremely wise.”

      To categorize him as a scoffer would be to undermine the framework of French religion and the observations he had of the church.

      I never believed the word of God was unchanging. I think it’s very dynamic. This is not a bad thing. Would you expect doctors to use archaic medical books? No, of course not. There’s nothing wrong with interacting with the Bible and reading it through a modern lens.

      • Leanne says:

        “Reading it through a modern lens”

        Hmmm, sounds like trying to interpret the holy Word of God through human reasoning. What a dangerous practice. The men whom God chose to write, albeit they were sinful men, WERE chosen of God! What about Romans 8:28? Stop trying to point out their faults and instead look at their heart — they chose to serve God. Who knows better, God, or man?

        When we interpret the Bible, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us. If we are in Christ, that is. Here’s the thing: soooo many people call themselves Christians, but not all of them are actually Christians. I’ve seen this firsthand myself. Let me ask you a question: what Do you believe about the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ? And what are its ramifications on your life?

        Answer that question first and then we will go from there.

        • First Amendment says:

          My relationship with God is highly personal and unique. I have little respect for Christians who determine the validity of someone else’s faith, like you have done. Who are you to say that not everyone who calls themself Christian is a Christian? Who gave you the authority to determine someone else’s relationship with God?

          You can be a Christian and interpret the Bible through human reasoning. This is not a “dangerous practice.” You can be a Christian and support gay marriage. You can be a Christian and a feminist. You can be a Christian and a Democrat. You can be a Christian and support a woman’s right to abortion. There is no formula for Christianity.

          I believe that Jesus died for my sins in the ultimate sacrifice. I strive to live like Jesus– loving the poor, destitute, abandoned. Its ramifications on my life are too numerous to count, but to summarize, I think the first and foremost goal for my life is to serve others through the loving compassion Jesus so beautifully personified. I don’t judge the relationship of other Christians with God.

          I am against the missions of this blog, which so often presents a single-sided and skewed perspective of Christianity. Christians are known for what they hate than what they love. That’s messed up.

      • Gods_girlcoco says:

        First Amendment,
        Speechless. You are very correct. The Bible was used to endorse slavery and it was endorsed the illegalization of interracial marriage.

      • Rachel says:

        So you don’t serve a God that can do anything? God makes no mistakes. His word is exactly how He wanted it. He can use humans to write it because He speaks through them. If God is all powerful why can’t He have His Word exactly how he wants it, no matter who writes it.

        • First Amendment says:

          God speaks through humans, but they still get it wrong. Think of how many wars are caused by religion. Human interpretation of God’s word is why tens of thousands of people were killed in the Crusades. Human interpretation of God’s word led to the Colorado Spring Planned Parenthood shooting. Does God intend for His word to be used to perpetuate violence? No, of course not. But humans have free will, and many seek to use the Bible to justify actions that are far from Christ-like.

          God’s word was not written by God. God’s word is simply a human’s interpretation of God’s design, and it reflects divine theory as much as cultural beliefs. I’ve found that the best way to interpret the Bible is to look for the teachings of Jesus and to follow the commandments Jesus gave us: first, to love God, and second, to love our neighbors.

          As I’ve clearly stated before, I think everyone’s relationship with God is personal. I go to a liberal church that marries gay couples. I’m a proud supporter of a woman’s right to abortion under Roe v Wade and a strong feminist. I vote Democrat. And yet my liberal beliefs are so often criticized by Christians such as yourself. People worship in different ways. I choose not to take everything the Bible says literally, and base my life around serving others the way Jesus did for us.

          • Rachel says:

            If the Israelites disobeyed or didn’t follow one step they would be punished or die. Moses was the one who passed on what God wanted. What if Moses messed up. You should read Exodus 10. It is pretty serious if God’s word is messed up. God wouldn’t allow it. Also, if you don’t read God’s word ( which means His whole word, Genesis-Revelation) you won’t know God. We also need to memorize all scripture, not just the New Testament, so we can fight the Devil. Read Matthew 4:1-11. The Devil can use scripture against us to cause doubt. Also Ephesians 6:10-17 which says,”Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:” The last one is very important about what we are talking about. We need God’s word, It is our sword. 1 Peter 2:2 – “As newborn babes, desire the sincerer milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:” I would encourage you to read your Bible. Starting at Genesis all the way to Revelation. We learn from peoples’ mistakes which is why it is good to study history. Same goes with the Bible. We can learn from peoples’ mistakes. We need to know what God wants.

          • First Amendment says:

            It seems you went astray from the original topic of conversation, which focused upon people’s ability, or lack thereof, to accurately write God’s word.

            I hope we can both agree that in current events, God’s word HAS been messed up. God allowed this. That’s called free will. This clearly shows the human propensity to make mistakes.

            I’m not really sure what you’re trying to prove through your quotation of random Bible verses.

  18. Dawn says:

    Great post, Bethany! This took courage. I’m sure you anticipated feminist-tinted comments, but I appreciate you stating your belief with a sweet spirit as you always do. I would be heartbroken if I had to hire someone else to care for my babies someday. (But I guess if it was God’s will I would learn to be joyful in any situation) Thank you again!

  19. Patty says:

    First of all, a feminist is someone who advocates social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men. Back when the Bible was written, women were treated as second-class citizens, and were supposed to be subservient to men and stay bearfoot and pregnant. Wake up. It’s now the 21st century. Women have become world leaders, astronauts, brain surgeons, and anything else they want to be, including stay at home moms, because of all the advances made by “feminists.” What your article is telling young women is if they want to have children, they should give up their dreams and not even bother going to college. Why even finish high school?

  20. Patty says:

    To continue . . . . I know several stay at home moms and, while they say they are “happy” and wouldn’t trade it for the world, in order to make ends meet, some of them are on the government dole, which means we are supporting their families because they chose not to work. So, those women are living off of what the women who work outside the home pay in taxes. Unless a woman is married to someone who makes a good income, living on one income these days is very difficult. I also know stay at home moms who don’t spend “quality” time with their kids because they’re with them all the time and feel like that’s enough. The TV is constantly on and that is who “babysits” the kids and where they get their social stimulation. Just because there is a mom at home doesn’t automatically mean it’s a better environment for the child.

  21. Sarah says:


    What about mothers who are passionate about their work? Who have spent years becoming experts in a field that serves others? Whose hard-earned skills feed people, heal people, solve big and important problems? Do you believe that God calls ALL mothers to ONLY be mothers? I completely agree that if a woman feels called to stay at home with her children, that she should be able to do that freely and without judgment from others. (Family finances allowing, obviously.) If that makes her fulfilled and happy, that’s WONDERFUL! But what about when a mother feels that God is calling her to something slightly different? I think your post has good intentions and came from a good place, but it strikes me as a bit narrow-minded. I believe that God has many different plans for his strong, smart, and loving daughters.

    • First Amendment says:

      You are completely correct & I couldn’t agree more.

    • alchemist says:

      I’ve spent more than a decade to become an expert in my field who solves “big important problems”. If I found out I was pregnant today I would quit my job tomorrow morning.

  22. Monty says:

    I re-read this article after reading all of the comments below. On second read the thing that stood out to me was in the opening paragraph where you refer to what you observed at the school and how you felt about it while waiting to pick up some “kiddos you were babysitting”. You felt sorry for the children in the day care but what about the kids you were picking up to babysit? I’m curious, how did you feel about supporting the very thing you went on to criticize in your article?

    • GirlDefined says:

      Great question, Monty. The mother of those kids was actually very involved with her kids. At that time she was doing some very minimal part time work, but was extremely intentional about spending the majority of her time raising her kids. I was a friend of the family and was glad to help her out when needed. -Bethany

      • Monty says:

        Thanks for your answer to my question Bethany. So I think I see what you’re saying. Its ok for a parent, or both parents to work as long as they are involved and intentional about spending time with their children? I’m sorry but I haven’t met a working parent yet who wasn’t intentional about spending time with his or her children. They have to be even more intentional because they balance a multitude of priorities. My bet is that every one of the children you saw at the school that day was from a different situation, just like the kids you were sitting for. Like I said in one of my earlier posts it works in lots of different ways for the families involved. When parents prayerfully determine what works best for their situation, and follows Gods lead, He truly blesses them. My family is living proof.

  23. Nikki says:

    I’m currently 20 years old, and both my parents have worked full time jobs the entire time. Both of them thoroughly enjoy what they do (and are incredibly fantastic at it as well!) . Together, they have raised a God-Loving, United and happy family. Despite their work timings and constant travelling, my siblings and I have NEVER felt ignored or alone ;we can talk to them about anything any time. We were essentially raised by a Nanny who also raised my father and his siblings (since both his parents worked as well). While she may have fed us, rocked us to sleep and made sure we didn’t injure ourselves doing something silly, it is still my parents who shaped the kind of people we are. Who disciplined us, who taught us to be honest, compassionate, hardworking and kind. I believe, that shaping your child’s character and always being available for an open conversation/discussion is much more important than other more superficial things. Also, it isn’t as if my parents never rocked me to sleep or fed me or cuddled me; they just did it a lot less than a stay at home parent would. A lot of that was done by our nanny, whom we all ADORE and who is still living with us. My great-grandmother, grandmother and mother have all ‘juggled’ careers and families incredibly well. I too, hope to do the same.

    • Gods_girlcoco says:

      Great comment! Totally agree!

    • Monty says:

      Nikki this is exactly what our life has been like and we are so very blessed!!! Thanks for sharing your story and helping this on-line community see the there is more than one way to raise a family and still be living out God’s will for our lives!

    • TK says:

      Thank you for posting this kind and well-thought out opposing view. We need more people to share their experiences and hearts WITH LOVE.

  24. Deborah Gordon says:

    “I believe that God’s very best is to have mothers taking care of their babies.
    Let’s not allow the modern mindset of motherhood dictate our futures. Let’s bravely break free from the norm and dare to give our babies something better. To give them our love. To be the ones who hold them when they cry, kiss them till they laugh, and rub their bellies as they fall asleep.” Are you kidding??? Are you proposing that mothers who choose to work instead of staying home do not love their children as much as those who do? This is one of the most close minded posts I’ve ever read. I grew up in church buts posts like these that often turn me away from the church. My mom was home for most of my life, and while I love and appreciate her for that, I’m in college and currently working towards being a doctor. I probably will have to put them in daycare. But I’ll love them just as much as my mom loves me. Let’s stop telling women they have to make a choice between family and success in the workplace. We never tell men that they must choose between their jobs and their home, yet women are always told that. Let’s stop attempting to define what it means to be a woman and then imposing that on other women. Through prayer and fasting I know that being a doctor is God’s desire for me. I also know that he sees my heart and knows that I desire to have a family. God has not asked me to choose between a future career and a future family, and neither should you.

  25. Gods_girlcoco says:

    I love you all!
    Ok, If you prayed and God told you that He wants you to live and do what your doing than cool do it. But don’t go and be judgemental of other woman. Bethany, your mindset is part of the reason why we have women inequality. Young girls need to know that its ok to want to have a career. It’s ok to want to go to college. You can have a career and family. If there’s something you are passionate about do it. Whether that’s staying at home or being a doctor. You have other options other than being a stay at home mom (which being a stay at home mom is totally cool).
    For so long, men have made the decisions for us. They have told us that our place is in the kitchen not in school. Women have fought and even died for us to have the freedom that we have. As a black woman, I am going to take the opportunities I have because I am the minority of the minority and MANY people have died for me to have the opportunities that I have. Therefore, I feel I am called to do the things that my ancestors and women before couldn’t do. I feel I am called to be their voices and be strong like the women before me.

    As a black woman, I was raised to understand the magnitude of and appreciate what was sacrificed so that I would walk down the street. We as women need to understand the magnitude of what was sacrificed for us to have the freedom to choose to stay at home or to have a career. That’s why I so strongly believe that we as women need to take opportunities and do what you WANT to do. I feel that you, Bethany, do not fully understand what was sacrificed for you to even be able to write this blog. And honestly that maybe because you have never had to understand sacrifices of people before you because of your White Privilege.
    In addition,Bethany, there’s nothing wrong with your decision to stay at home. But there is something wrong with you saying that this is what is morally right for women to do so. You are not a moral compass. Just like you prayed and felt God called you to stay at home, God will tell each woman what He wants her to do. Not you.

  26. Leanne says:

    @FirstAmendment – I posted a reply to your comment earlier but it didn’t go through. My original comment had more precise definition and description but basically what I wrote is that I’ve noticed a trend from studying history and society over the years that abortion, homosexuality, openly sexual content in our culture, and other things like that have come about:

    a) to draw people closer to God, or
    b) to draw people farther away from God?

    The answer is clearly B. In the majority of instances, people have endorsed such actions and values because they did not fear and respect the Lord.

    • First Amendment says:

      I endorse abortion and homosexuality, yet I love God.

      I was going to respond to your comment with a lengthy description of why I believe you’re wrong, but I decided I’d tell you through two anecdotes. One about abortion, the other, homosexuality. Both of these seemingly “un-Christian” topics are ones that have shaped my life as a Christian, and have drawn me closer to God.

      Christians, as I’ve seen, opposed Planned Parenthood and want to defund it. There are a couple of posts on this blog about why its authors fundamentally disagree with a woman’s right to abortion.

      I’m deeply involved in ministry, and my church assists refugees resettle in the United States. We always take the women to Planned Parenthood to get free contraception and STD testing. In their home country, contraception is not widely available and there is a lot of rape. These women are extremely grateful for the services Planned Parenthood provides. They are too poor to afford having more children. The reason that I support Planned Parenthood from a Christian perspective is rooted in this.

      Homosexuality is still a hot-button issue among many Christians. I’m so lucky that I go to a church that ordains and marries homosexual couples, because it’s given me a wider perspective of Christianity. One of our music leaders is an openly gay adult, and he is one of the most Christ-like people I’ve ever met. Our church hired a lesbian youth leader. A bunch of the students in the youth group are openly LGBT, and their sexuality and gender identifications are supported and accepted by everyone. I don’t see why homosexuality is an issue for Christians. It’s certainly not a choice.

      I’ve spoken a lot about my background, but I want to give these stories a purpose. Jesus came to Earth to tell us two commandments: to love God, and to love our neighbors. If a pregnant fourteen year-old Christian refugee has an abortion because she can’t afford a child, how is she farther from God? If a homosexual couple marries and devotes their life to serving others, how are they farther from God? The problem I see in Christianity is its exclusivity– homosexuals, feminists, liberals need not apply. Here’s the truth about evangelism: it has to be good news, and it has to be for EVERYONE.

      In short, you can’t tell someone how close they are to God by how they feel on social issues.

      • Grace says:

        Okay. first, think about what i’m saying here, please. Would you personally kill a 6 month old baby?

        • First Amendment says:

          You didn’t think about what I said. I suggest you do that first.

          To answer your question, I’m not sure what I would personally do, as I’m not currently pregnant. But if I were a single teenage mother, I probably would. Albeit, I would get an abortion much earlier than six months, but I would get one nonetheless.

          The idea that Christians should be fundamentally opposed to abortion FOR THEMSELVES is fine, but you have no right to dictate what everyone else has access to. Christians need to stop shaming women for having abortions. Hint, hint: if you try to ban it, people will still get them! (Prohibition, anyone?) Trying to ban abortion because you personally believe it’s wrong is like banning everyone from eating at McDonald’s because you’re a vegetarian and you don’t want to support the meat industry that tortures animals.

          If everyone believed that abortion was murder, it wouldn’t be legal. That’s plain and simple. If you’ve read my other comments, you know my message to Christians is to stop determining the legitimacy of someone’s faith because they make different choices than you. We all worship God differently.

          P.S. it’s rather pointless that you try to defend your anti-abortion stance. Being pro-choice does not mean I am pro-abortion; it just means that I believe that my decision to have or not have an abortion should not dictate what everyone else can or cannot do.

          • Marie says:

            Hi. I would just like to say a few things. I don’t think that you aren’t close to God because you support abortion and homosexuality. Although I have opposing beliefs, I also think that it is where your heart is that really matters. But why do I not agree that abortion and homosexuality are okay? Well I believe abortion to be intenionally murdering babies. I assume that you don’t consider it to be that way, so I won’t bother spending anytime with that right now, because that’s not really the point. However, I think that homosexuality is wrong because it is in the Bible. There are multiple places, but the one that comes to mind is the story of Lot and the destruction of Sodom. Even though you still might not consider it sin, I do, but everyone has imperfect areas in their lives. My main point is that I don’t have a holier-than-thou attitude because you support those things, but I do think that someone close to God would be reading His word often and would see that He detests homosexuality.

            P.S. I agree with you that banning abortion wouldn’t stop it. The only way to do that is by persuasion, not force, because you can’t force everyone to do everything that you want them to do every time. Abortion used to be illegal, but people still got them. There was a black market for them. But alot of women (and the babies too) got hurt because the “doctors” performing the abortions were not always real doctors. My point is that banning them may be worse, but speaking out against them may be effective.

          • First Amendment says:

            I wrote a response to you earlier; I just realized it was never processed. Funny. Anyways, we have different beliefs on homosexuality because we interpret Scripture differently. Here are a few reasons why I don’t think being gay is a sin:
            1. It’s not a choice. I personally know many gay people, both men and women. None of them chose to be homosexual. I certainly never chose to be straight– that’s just how I am. With that being said, you can’t use hormone therapy to convert a homosexual into a straight person. To see the saddening effects of this, watch “The Imitation Game.”
            2. God loves everyone. Since being gay is not a choice, and I don’t believe in predestination, why would God design a person to fail? Why even create a person knowing he or she can never be “saved?”
            3. Judging gay people makes us sin. When we tell gay people to repent, even if it is well-intentioned, actually makes US sin. Christ-like interactions are three things: nonjudgmental, loving, and inclusive. When we start to decide who is saved and who is not, we cross into a dangerous territory.
            4. There are bigger issues. Jesus was against the culture wars; he practically defied them. Regardless of the way your theological perspective, we can’t ignore that the heart of Christ’s ministry was fellowship. Jesus drew people close to him, listened to them, touched them, broke bread with them, wept with them, and treated them as his equals. The anti-gay fight is of little importance when God’s children are starving in Malawi or dying of AIDS in the Congo or starving in the United States. So much focus on the homosexual war distracts form other pressing problems.
            5. If God is against homosexuality, He could have told us so. Jesus came to Earth to give us two commandments: love God, and love our neighbors. Note: “gays don’t go to Heaven” is NEVER mentioned. Wonder why.

          • Rachel says:

            What do you think of banning guns then? I know you said you are liberal. Just curious.

          • First Amendment says:

            I don’t think that banning guns is an effective way to stop people from getting them, just as banning abortion would not stop women from getting them. With guns, I do believe that we should implement stronger background checks and get rid of the gun show loophole (which allows people to basically buy guns freely). The rate of gun violence is alarming.

            Side note: I think it’s funny how Republicans desperately try to protect the life of a fetus, but love guns. If you’re truly pro-life, that life extends through ALL stages of life. This paradox also extends to the conservative defense of capital punishment.

          • Rachel says:

            The thing is the baby did nothing wrong. There is sin in the world and we need to protect ourselves. There are bad people out there. If there is no punishment they will keep on doing it and many innocent, law abiding citizens will get hurt.

          • First Amendment says:

            The fetus is not the baby. By definition, a baby is “a very young child, especially one newly or recently born.” A fetus is “an unborn offspring of a mammal, in particular an unborn human baby more than eight weeks after conception.”
            Babies must be born to be babies.

            I’m not sure what you mean when you say that “…they will keep one going it…” We punish gun violence, so I’m not sure what you mean.

            I see using guns as a means of self-defense as a very tricky issue. Many innocent lives have been taken because of guns used for self-defense. Black kids are killed by police who shoot them out of self-defense. In just half of 2015, 776 people were killed by police and 161 of them were unarmed. There is clearly a gun problem in America, and while taking away guns completely wouldn’t stop this issue, stronger background checks are an absolute necessity.

          • Rachel says:

            But yes, I do believe we need to implement stronger background checks:)

          • Rachel says:

            Actually, we don’t need to implement stronger background checks, Background checks are fine as they are. We need to hammer those who use a firearm to commit a crime.

          • First Amendment says:

            Actually, you’re absolutely wrong. When 82% of guns used in mass shootings ARE PURCHASED LEGALLY, there’s a problem with background checks.

            Small-scale gun shows don’t require background checks, so anyone can buy a gun. This is called the “gun show loophole,” as it permits sellers a free pass on checks.

            Additionally, federal law surrounding those with mental illnesses is equally porous. The law stipulates that people who have been
            “adjudicated as a mental defective” by a court or other authority can’t purchase firearms. This basically means that people who have been declared as mentally ill by an arbiter or a judge can’t by guns. HOWEVER, the majority of the mentally ill never receive such an adjudication. Those who do can also have a court overturn it. Many mass shooters were described by neighbors and friends as mentally ill, yet those shooters were able to buy guns without a problem.

            We incarcerate people who perpetrate gun violence, and we still rank first in the developed world for gun violence.

            Background checks ARE NOT fine as they are. The solution to solve gun violence isn’t to sit around waiting to punish shooters as a reactionary society. We need to fix the loopholes, solidify the law and conduct better background checks to make sure NO MURDERER CAN LEGALLY OBTAIN A GUN.

      • AB says:

        Well, I suggest you read the Bible. Praying that your church quits watering down the Word to fit our current social norms. What matters more- accepting the ways of the world to make sure everyone feels “loved,” or speaking and obeying truth that tells us God loves us and helps us repent of our sins to be closer to Him?

        • First Amendment says:

          I have read the Bible. Numerous times, in fact. I am praying that my church continues to focus on mission work the way it does.

          Organized religion tends to create an “us versus them” mentality– constantly enforcing the existence of a divide between Christians and everyone else. God doesn’t view us as better than anyone. We are all the same. You act like showing love to our neighbors is a bad thing. In actuality, the root of Christianity is love.

          “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

          Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

          The most important commandments God gives us are not to tell homosexuals they need to repent their sins to go to Heaven. God DOES want everyone to feel loved. Love is what binds us in Christ.

        • Hadasah says:

          Preach , Sister!

  27. Leanne says:

    @Rachel – spot on! We serve a faithful God! Hallelujah, amen!

  28. Caroline says:

    Great article! I am actually writing my thesis on this exact topic 🙂

  29. Beth says:

    I’m concerned about how this post would be received by young Christian women who were raised by parents who utilized day care. I hope that no young lady reading this would walk away with a lesser view of her own mother, or questioning her mother’s love or commitment to their family simply because such a narrow perspective was presented. I didn’t hear much grace or understanding for those families who use childcare. The luxury of being a stay at home mother is simply not an option for some women and this post left very little room (aside from a flippant “PS” at the end) for young women who were raised in that situation or who may find themselves in it someday.

  30. Mimi says:

    I’m sorry Leanne, as this might sound a little rude, but I strongly disagree. Endorseing and accepting are two very different things. Endorsing sin is saying that you agree wholeheartedly with it. Accepting is just that. Accepting that people are people and the only one who can change them is God. But it’s our God-given job to tell people about him. Abortion is murder. Plain and simple. If you indorse murder then you are most definitely are not a Christian and gave never read the Bible. Homosexuaoity is twisting God’s natural design. As one of the Baird sisters said in their posts, he could have made two women, two men, or genderless people, but no. He made a man and a woman. And he did NOT make a mistake. I agree totally with Bethany. She is a true Christian and I thank God for her and her sister for sharing what God wants with so many young girls in an easy to understand way.

  31. Mimi says:

    And God will help the families who don’t have enough money for their kids. And I’m sorry to say that you can not love God if you believe in these things.

  32. Becky says:

    Can the dad raise the baby?

  33. Ruby Ramirez says:

    Oh wow. I know this is an old post now but were you trying to push a certain population women away from God? Because if so, you’re doing an amazing job! My husband lost his job. We knew he was going to lose it so I did what any woman would do, I stepped up. I started working and that meant putting my three year old in daycare. I was lucky to not have to do it until now but having someone shame me for it is appalling. You should be ashamed of yourself. But then again, I guess I thought I knew a lot about parenting before I had kids too.

  34. Snarky says:

    What an awful article…you know some women prefer to work while their husbands take care of the kids there is nothing wrong with that. But what if they are a single mother do you expect her to wallow and not find work…do you expect her to stay home with the child but have no income to support her and her child…what if her husband is severly disabled and can’t work do you expect her to stay home too, what if both parents are financially struggling and they both need to work or else they will be homeless…you are acting like women who put their children in daycare or are being raised by their fathers make them bad parents. You have no idea what situation has led them to put their children into daycare. You are being so closed minded and judgemental! >:(

  35. Karen Rowe says:

    Sorry ladies, but it’s a known fact that children are more likely to be abused in their own home by a relative, than at daycares. The Christian conservative agenda wants to push women back into traditional roles and it’s not going to work. All of you need to accept that women are in the workforce and equal to men. It’s fine for kids to be in daycare or school during the day!

    • Wonderfully made says:

      Hmmm… that’s funny what about all the cases coming out about children being raped and bullied in school?

  36. NoName says:

    Do you NOT realize that some people don’t have a freaking choice?!?! You people are disgusting.

    • V says:

      So you believe that if, right now some woman has a child and he’s born perfectly healthy but after a couple weeks with him she can’t take it and can’t provide that she has the right to murder that child? That makes little sense if you do and if you don’t. Sorry but killing a child for any reason once so ever is MURDER and it’s wrong… I understand there are some women who have been raped and then get pregnant but… that doesn’t give them a reason to murder because they didn’t want that child. Abortion has given young people who shouldn’t be lying around a new way to spread more disease and get away from the consequences of their wrongdoing, now they can lay around when ever and keep doing it without dealing with the responsibility that comes with having a gift before marriage, they do it get rid of the child by killing it and so over…. now the generations to come and that live now have no responsibility once so ever and they live like children and act like children being immature and never really dealing with the real issue.
      I feel for every woman that has an abortion, and my heart hurts and their mistake and murder of a innocent life, but they will be held accountable for their deeds of they don’t ask for forgiveness and turn away from the evil deed. They need to know God loves them and their baby and that he gives them away to be forgiven and cared for far better then anyone or thing ever could!
      Everyone who says their against murder is lying when they promote abortion, a person a human being has the right to live no matter what age or stage in life. Please reconsider, because every moment that you live and stand for abortion leaves you responsible for murdering billions of human beings and that is a shameful horrid life to live.
      Everyone has a choice and what you decide will be on your head until the day of judgement unless you repent.

  37. Hannah says:

    How offense to all men!!!
    – A christian feminist

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