A Single Girl’s Thoughts on Writing Letters to Your Future Husband

By: Bethany Baird

I’ve always been so enamored by the fact that my future husband (if it’s God’s will for me to get married) is living and breathing right now. He is somewhere in this world at this very moment. How crazy is that?

Picturing my future husband as a real, living person (and not just an imaginary human) really hit me around the age of fourteen. During this time, God began to convict me in the area of purity and gave me a strong desire to want to honor my future husband.

I began praying through convictions and decided to commit to several things:

  1. To save sex for marriage.
  2. To save my first kiss for my wedding day.
  3. To pray for my future husband.
  4. To write letters to my future husband.

Today I want to focus entirely on commitment number four. This habit has been a huge encouragement to me, and I think it could be for you as well.

In life we often set goals.

We have a target we focus on. That keeps us heading in the right direction. As Christians, the Bible is our ultimate bullseye. We should constantly be focusing on it, studying it, and striving to live it out.

The more we focus on God’s Word the clearer our purpose and goal becomes.

In addition to aiming to know and live God’s Word, writing letters to my future husband has been a target of sorts in my own life. Here’s why:

  • Writing letters reminds me that I want to save myself for one man alone, not many men.
  • Writing letters helps me focus on my future husband and inspires me to live in a pure, honoring, and Christ-glorifying way.
  • Writing letters reminds me not to settle when life gets hard.
  • Writing letters helps me to take my relationship with God seriously and to grow in my character so that I can be a Proverbs 31:10 kind of woman: “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”

Not to mention the letters will make a sweet and beautiful wedding gift from me to him. Having just turned twenty-eight, that’s over fourteen years of letters and counting! How cool is that!?

If you’re interested in writing letters to your future husband, here a few practical tips to help you get started:

1. Find a special box or container and keep all your letters inside of it.

This will be an easy way for you to keep track of the letters and will be a wonderful way to gift them to your future husband one day.

2. Keep your letters focused on your spiritual walk.

Don’t turn these letters into fantasies or romance novels. Keep your heart pure and God at the center of your writing.

3. Include Scripture and prayers.

That will bless you now and bless him when he finally gets to read them.

4. Keep in mind that prayer is a powerful weapon.

Your future husband could very well be blessed by your prayers in ways you may never know on this side of eternity.

5. Don’t hesitate to share about your life and current happenings.

Just imagine how cool it will be to one day open the letters and read about your life before him.

Remember While You Wait.

This habit may not be for everyone. Some of you may struggle to not obsess over guys, and this may be a temptation for you to focus where you should not. In that case, develop a practice of writing letters to God, asking Him to shape you to be more like Him—not in preparation to be a bride, but in preparation to be His Bride (Isa. 62:5). Whether you ever write a letter to your future husband or not, here are a few important things to keep in mind:

  • Strive to honor God and your future husband in your current guy friendships and relationships.
  • Remember that your future husband (if it’s God’s will for you to get married) is a real, living man, not a figment of your imagination.
  • Work hard on your character and develop a deep and intimate relationship with Jesus.
  • Prepare well and strive to become a hardworking Proverbs 31 woman.
  • Develop a lifestyle of prayer that you can bring into your future marriage.

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on the idea of writing letters to your future husband. Leave your comments below!

Photo Credit

Girl sitting and thinking

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  • Stephanie

    Hi Bethany! I was actually just thinking about this topic! I’m 16 and I just read an AWESOME book called “Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His” by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. It is such an inspiring book filled with real life stories and special prayers for your future husband. A must read for every single christian girl!

  • Zoe

    I started to do this years ago (in a journal specifically for him though-not individual letters) and I thought it was uniquely my idea lol! Then I read how Christy did it in the Christy Miller series by Robin Gunn, and now I hear about how others do it! It must be a God-given thought considering so many different women have done it. I suppose it is nice to not be the only one.

  • Rebekah Teravskis

    Thanks Bethany for the encouragement! I actually write letters too!! I’ve been doing it since the start of this year. I set aside a chunk of time on Sunday afternoon and write a letter to my future husband. I look forward to this special time and I love to share about what I learned from God that week in my letter. I can’t help but think, as I write these almost mini personal devotions, what situation my future husband will be in when he reads them. With that in mind, the lessons I had learned from God that week take on a whole new meaning. Every time I sit down to write a letter I have a general idea in mind of what I am going to say and what I am going to share from my devotional time. But as I start writing, words just flow off my pen about a new subject of God from a Bible verse I just heard in passing or in a sermon and when the letter is done, I sit there and meditate on the different chain of thought that I wrote and apply it to my life. It is as if God is changing my heart and what I write as I write it. I find that these letters have changed my life and that the lessons that come from them are training me in the ways of God.

  • Celtic Princess

    I write letters to my future husband somewhat sporadically, lately I write the most when I’m lonely or think of something I’d like for him to know about me. I’m not really sure if I know any guys right now who I really want to marry, but I’d really feel bad if whoever I marry misses out on knowing me now. I’ll write sometimes about how I feel about certain issues or what some of my favorite things are right now… almost like a time capsule journal of me in my twenties.

  • Clara

    Thank you for this post! I am 14 and this sounds like a neat thing to start doing. I was curious, what would a template be for a letter? What does a typical letter of yours contain?

  • Dani M.

    I got a special journal that I write letters to my future husband in. I even got a special pen to write it with. I’m rather sporadic at it, as I am with nearly everything else in my life, but I really enjoy it and look forward to giving it to my husband.

    I liked your point about writing about your spiritual life, as that’s probably what I tend to write about least.

    • Nelly

      I did the same thing! Except for the pen! That’s a cool idea though!

      Thanks, Bethany for the great tips!

  • Faith Metz

    Thanks Bethany fo the encouragement! I am 16 and I read a book titled: Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy and in there she talked about writing letters to herhusband before they were married and how special it was for Eric to read them. I have written 1 letter so far and want to write more. My problem is keeping them away form my 14 and 11 year old sisters. 🙂

    • Brooklyn

      Faith, you are so not alone in the thing about keeping them away from your sisters.

  • Kaela Schultz

    great blog Bethany, that’s a great idea!!!

  • Kara Theriault

    Thanks for the post! I’m 14 and I started writing letters to my future husband about a year ago. I love your tips on what to write.

  • Farielle Ngamakala

    I was told about you and your sister on Wednesday and so far I am loving your advice. As a 20 year old and a newly saved young woman (8 months and counting) I need as much womanly advice from Christian women like you guys. This idea is absolutely great! Keep up the good work and I pray you touch twice as more girls than you already have xx

  • Megan Fatheree

    I also write letters to my future husband, but I come at it from a little different perspective. I totally agree with what you say above, but I am also an introvert and I know I have some damage that’s happened to me in the past. I write to him to also help him understand how I come at certain areas of my life, because I know I’m hard to figure out. I know communication is key in a relationship and though I haven’t met him yet, I always want to be honest and open with my future husband. So I write honestly about how I feel, the good days and the bad.

  • anonymous

    Just wondering, is this something only that only girls write, or do boys also write letters to their future wives?

    • The only guy I’ve ever heard of doing this was Eric Ludy. So I don’t know if this is something some guys do or if its usually a girls thing. One thing I do know for sure is that just about every guy I’ve ever met has disliked writing.

    • Emmy

      I would think fewer guys do this kind of thing than girls, since (like Tatiana said) I think more girls like writing, especially letters, than guys do. But, from a girl’s perspective, I would be extremely blessed by letters my husband had written before knowing me. Just sayin’ 😉 So if you’re a guy considering it, I would definitely say go for it! I’m sure you would reap just as many benefits as a girl would, especially if you follow the tips Bethany gave.

      And if you’re a girl, I probably wasn’t that helpful, since I don’t really know. But I think any guy who wants to, should.

  • Mary

    I did this when I was younger, then one day, my sister and I got into this huge fight, her revenge on me was to throw away my box of letters to my future husband…soooo that’s my story!!! LOL

  • Esther Rose

    I was encouraged by my mother to start writing letters to my future husband four years ago. I have been ever since. This blog has really helped me point to Jesus, in the letters I write.
    So thank you for this wonderful encouragement.

  • Elzette Van Dyk

    I have been praying for my future husband for a while (maybe not as often as I should have) , but the idea of writing letters to him only surfaced recently. I wrote my first letter today, and I can’t wait to write more. To me it is a way of expressing my faith in God giving me a husband some day, if it is His Will.

  • Arna

    I am currently 14, turning 15 and I have started writing letters and prayers for my future husband and it has really shown me how much God means to me and how much a love for God are important in my relashionahips. I have started talking to my friends about writing to their Future Husbands too.

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