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Single Girl Don’t Waste Your Life Waiting for Marriage

By: Bethany Baird

As a young teen I never would have guessed that my season of singleness would have lasted as long as it has. I truly thought that by 27 I would be married. Surely! I thought I’d probably even have two or three kids by now as well.

But, single? That wasn’t even on my radar.

I realize that many of you are in the exact same position as myself. You’re single and you have no idea when, or if, marriage will be in your future. I get it. I get the singleness. I get the struggles. I get the longing for marriage. I get the wondering if you’ll be single forever. I get all of those feelings. I can relate to you.

Today’s blog post isn’t about the “struggle” or the “hardship” of being single though. Today’s blog is a topic that has been on my heart for quite some time. If you are a single gal, this message is specifically for you.

I want you to take a minute and just imagine this possibility with me.

Imagine what would happen if we, as single Christian girls, used these years to live all out for Christ. Imagine if we took advantage of our youthful energy and flexible life schedules and strived to make an impact in our communities. Imagine if we lived as if every day were an opportunity to make an impact for the Kingdom of God. Just imagine the impact we would have.

The reality is, we can have that opportunity if we want it.

We, as single Christian girls, have the potential to make one of the biggest impacts in our world. We have the energy, passion, youthfulness, and flexibility that most other people don’t have. If we would catch the vision and live sold out for Christ, our world couldn’t help but be impacted for the good.

It’s time for us, as single girls, to stop wasting our lives for the “one day when I’m married” and start living all out for Christ right now.

We have so much opportunity to be used by God and we need to take advantage of this season before it’s too late. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Never will you be in this exact season again.

I’m challenging you to rethink this season and strive to live all out for Christ. Here are my three challenges for you:

1. Live All Out For Christ

God wants to use you, as a single girl, in ways He won’t be able to use you as a married girl. Choose to make the most of your single years by living all out for Christ. Don’t hold back. Give Him the best hours of your day and strive to point others to Him in everything that you do.

2. Embrace the Moment

Don’t miss out on what God has for you right now. So many single girls waste some of the best years of their lives dreaming about the future. Don’t make that mistake. Live fully in the moment. Embrace this season of singleness and make the most of it.

3. Search for Opportunities

Sometimes you have to get up and search for opportunities to serve God. They don’t always come knockin on your door. Take a moment to research the needs of your church, friends, community and make a big effort to serve and to get involved. Don’t wait around for the opportunity to fall into your lap. Get up and find it!

It’s time for us to stop waiting for the future and start living in the here and now. God has each of us single for a reason and we need to take advantage of that. Let’s link arms and encourage each other during this time. Let’s encourage each other to live all out for Christ and make these single years count for eternity.

Will you accept the challenge?

I’d love to hear from you now. How can you live all out for Christ right now? Which of the three points do you most need to incorporate into your life?

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  • Yamico Tembo

    wow i have learnt so much thank you!!!
    <3
    keep up the good work!!!

  • Elisabeth

    Ya know I was going write this full of excuses, but your right no matter what circumstances people have,they still aught to serve God with out regard to self, or trying to measure up to others.

  • Girleide

    I have a hard time embracing the moment. This issue has been in my prayers for a while, because I became aware my anxieties come from the fact I struggle to trust God completely about my future and needs. Sometimes I need to stop and do some grounding exercise and remember myself that this very moment is okay, that I’m exactly where God wants me to be regardless of what I expect myself to do, that I’m not the one in control, and so on. Letting go of control and letting God be God is refreshing and relieving, even though is a long process I’m not quite done with.

  • JustBabs

    This is so true – the bible says the single folks seek to please God in body and spirit. We must not adopt the world’s twisted view about singleness. Desiring a mate is not a bad thing – but it can’t be the sole desire, we’ll b disappointed when we are unsingle

    • Deranda Smith

      Amen!!

  • Deranda Smith

    I am going to be honest, this post could not have come at a better time for me. I have been feeling so wearing and pulled down by my work environment and peers because of my status. I have to constantly keep reminding myself that I am only 18 and there is still plenty of time…..not to let their criticisms get to my head. Thank you for this motivation and reassurance that I needed to continue to move forward in my journey for Christ. I just His Word and His plans

  • Carly

    I’m not all that worried about THAT right now because I’m only 15, it was a great post, but I’m not at marrying age at all, so it’s not a huge issue…

    I’ve been really wondering what are some ministry ideas for younger girls (you know, girls like me who still have school work)? I can’t drive, I’m busy with school and everything (but I’m homeschooled so school-related ideas won’t really help).. I would greatly appreciate any ideas 🙂

    • Hannah G.

      Same question, same situation, sister.
      In our stage of life, there’s probably not as many opportunities to start our own ministry or organize something really big. But!! You have your church! And there truly isn’t a better place to learn how to serve. If you’re not plugged into a church, I can recommend enough that you do so ASAP. Nursery and VBS are the first two things that come to my mind, but there’s countless other ways we can help. Other than the church, you can also volunteer to babysit a friend (or your siblings) for free every once in awhile to give them a fun night out.

  • Clarissa

    This spoke volumes to me. I’ve been guilty of dreaming and hoping about the future
    I didn’t quite realize the opportunity cost of wasting your single years until you are married. Thank you for posting.

  • Kristen P

    Wow! This post was so helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much Bethany! 🙂 This actually does help me in this moment of my life since I am single (because I am only 14) but also ways I can use my hours to glorify God while my sister is at college. She and I have been close all these years because we are only two and a half years apart. I have been searching for what to do while she is gone and how to challenge myself Spiritually and this just helped alot! Thank you! 🙂

    • Carly

      Oh… I guess this does apply to me more than I thought! I may not be discontent about marriage, but maybe just everyday life sometimes… You are right. We need to challenge ourselves Spiritually. I KNOW that Jesus says that who is faithful in the small things He will make ruler over many… Now the hard part is APPLYING it!!!

  • Caity

    I have a friend who has realized that she (and I) could very well be single for the rest of our lives. At first this shocked me, but I’ve been pondering over it, and wherever God puts us in life is where we are meant to be. I think the 3rd point was most helpful, because these single years and our whole lives actually aren’t for us, but to be used for the Lord.
    Thanks for posting this for all us single girls out there. 🙂

  • This post reminds me of the book “Radical,” by David Platt. In it he talks about spending a year on a “radical experiment” by 1. praying for the entire world; 2. reading the entire Bible; 3. sacrificing money for a specific purpose (i.e., to help others/”spread the gospel”); 4. spending time in another context (going somewhere physically different, whether locally or even internationally) to help others/serve Christ. (Maybe the Peace Corps?) Take it a step further and make it a singlehood experiment instead of a year! Being a parent – especially of infants and toddlers – will make doing that exponentially harder.

    • Radical was an amazing read!! I feel individuals who are looking to grow in any or every aspect of life should read it. It set a stage in my life to always look to dig deeper, broaden your horizons, and even when you feel you may have meet all expectations with a certain subject you haven’t. You must continually grow becoming whole or perfect throuGh God until the last breathe.

      • Yep. He lays it on the line. It certainly influenced the way I see my commitment to Christ. 🙂

  • Sam

    Such a great post Bethany! You are such an encouragement to so so many women, especially those who are single right now. I love how you said … “Let’s encourage each other to live all out for Christ and make these single years count for eternity.” Amen! I need to start making every day count today, and fulling living each one without looking forward to the future! 🙂

  • Maria

    Hey! This is kind of a random question but i was wondering if you guys ever went to college? I’m about to graduate high school this coming year, I’m homeschooled, and i was wondering if there was any advice. I haven’t decided what kind of career I want yet. I’m not really worried about it but I was wondering from your perspective what decisions you did or did not make that you’re happy with? What type of things have you done in you’re life to get you where you are? I intend to live for Christ my entire life. Even in the work I do. And as you guys have written two books, you’re creators of a blog and probably much more that I don’t know about; I just want to know some of your advice you would give young Christian girls who are soon to be graduating.

  • Kirsty

    I’ve been thinking and praying about starting a girls Bible study… But I haven’t the first clue where to begin! Any advice?? Even considering a kids neighborhood Bible storytime like once a week is on my radar, but I don’t know what resources to use, what I need, or how to put it together! I know if it’s God’s will, he will make it work… I’m just not confident! I’m intimidated to hand out tracts let alone lead a class! I don’t feel adequate… I just need some imput from girls with experience please! Have you done anything like this? What did you do? What works? What doesn’t? I would appreciate any suggestions!! 🙂

    • Hannah H.

      Hello Kirsty! I realize you posted this a while ago, but if you are still needing answers, prayer is definitely the number one best solution. You are on the right track! 🙂 I have been blessed to help lead the children’s church ministry at my church for the last few months, and something that has really been helpful to me are large flashcards that have a picture on one side and parts of a story on the back. While you read the story, the kids look at the picture side; this helps them stay more focused on the story and understand it better. It can be intimidating to lead a class and interact with all kinds of different personalities, but don’t worry. Go into your class with a prayer between you and God, and just relax. Kids aren’t very hard judges…the main thing is to make sure that you stay in control and the kids understand who the leader is. When beginning your class with new kids, it might be a good idea to go over the rules of the class (“Keep your hands to yourself, be obedient when the teacher says something, etc…”). Maintain your composure. Kids know who will let them get by with being unruly. But don’t let this discourage you! Working to give kids the Gospel is very rewarding.
      Overall, just find God’s will for YOU. If its His will for you to work with kids, don’t let feelings of inadequacy control you. The more you work with them, the better of a class leader you will become.
      Example Class Time:
      1. Welcome to class
      2. Have kids introduce themselves
      3. Go over the rules of the class
      4. Teach them some Bible songs
      5. Tell the story
      6. Finish out the class time with a fun craft that relates to the story.

      Hope this helps! Don’t feel like you have to stick to the guideline; feel free to make changes for whatever works best for the class.
      If you do a girl’s Bible study, there are great resources at Christian bookstores and even online. Maybe after you finish the lesson for that day, you and the girls could make cookies or something every now and them. Try to learn more about them and create friendships with them. God can use you to have a great impact on their lives.
      I wish you the best! Just remember to always let God lead you to what HE wants you to do. I’ll be praying for you! 🙂

  • Mikayla Orosco

    For me personally… By being obedient to God in my life and staying humble.
    The #2 and #3 really are my key points I have a hard time in helping its not that I don’t want to that’s not it at all. I love serving but im not an outgoing person so u can see the problem. I’ve given this in prayer to God. But #1 is always something that I’m striving to do with God.

  • Yamico Tembo

    so true, young people need to find their purpose early so that they could use their time effectively where purpose is not known abuse is inevitable. i guess that’s why so many youths are carried away cause they do not know the real essence of life; emanating who GOD is in our lives.
    i have been reading a book called single with a difference by Faith Oyedepo and she was emphasizing on making the most of what we have, and the time we have because life and time are together. and when we waste cover time we actually waste our lives, there are seasons (well ill say phases in this life) and once we are able to know which phase we are in, we will be able to know what we are to do in that phase were in.
    well she was also emphasizing on making the most of the time we have as singles before we get married. its a good read…
    i have learnt a lot from the blog post; just from the time i came across this blog i have really been imparted with what LIFE really is for a girl, living and giving out the best of me to the world, being set apart. knowing a real woman is, cause really this world has perverted the price less value and worth of woman, and just perverted it all… i believe now s the time to know who we really are (our identity in CHRIST) cause it no longer what is right and wrong; it is what is right and almost right, i need to really grasp the truth and just strive to be women of integrity…
    please keep up the good work,
    thank you

  • Pingback: Chica Soltera, no desperdicies tu vida esperando por el matrimonio. |()

  • Leah

    Great post! The point that hit me most was searching for opportunities, not just waiting for something to happen. Thanks so much!

  • rachel

    I needed this!! thank you 🙂

  • Kim

    Thanks I can understand. Right now I am 25 and still haven’t met my future hubby. (that I know of) I do long for marriage. I think I told my pastor something about living for Jesus right now. Not that you can’t married, but not wasting the single years which I have been. I have the book When God writes your Love story and Lady in waiting. Gives you a different godly perspective.

  • L Atkins

    I really needed this, thank you. Lately I’ve been thinking “What’s the point of getting a college degree or getting a well paying job if I’m just going to get married, have kids and have to give it up!? But you’re right, I never know when I’m actually going to get married, or have kids. I think God plants dreams in our hearts for a reason, but while he will find a way to make it happen, we have to do our part. My thing is that I need to search for opportunities to serve God -and I think a great place to start is my family.


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