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A Single Guy’s Perspective on Valentine’s Day

By: Bethany Beal

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I wanted to know how a Christian single guy handles this holiday. Is he sad? Depressed? Happy? Mad? I wanted the inside scoop!

Thankfully, I was able to squeeze in a quick interview with a guy friend of mine.

I came up with a few questions, sent them his way, and this is what he had to say. Be prepared to be encouraged and challenged all at the same time.

Q: How do you handle Valentine’s Day?

A: Sometimes Valentine’s Day stinks. On the day when it seems like every other person I know has that “special someone” in their life, there I sit, alone. It can be disheartening. But I always try to do two things.

First, I try to remember what Valentine’s Day is about—love. But not just our love toward one another. This time of year is one of the best times to remember what Christ has done for all of us in dying on the cross! John 15:13 really says it perfectly: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” The first way I suppress the “woe is me” feeling is to focus on what Christ has done and be thankful for His ultimate sacrifice of love.

Then I do my best to focus on others.

I find ways to make the day special for close friends and family. Maybe it’s a text or email, maybe a box of chocolates or a phone call. When we focus on other people, it can do wonders at taking the edge off of our own feelings because we’re not focused on ourselves.

Neither of these methods is foolproof, but it’s something that can bless others (and be festive) on a day when it’s easy to mope around.

Q: How do you stay focused and joyful as a single?

A: Realizing that God is using this time in my life to hone me, show me areas in which I need to grow, and focusing on doing the “next step” is how I stay focused. At times being joyful is just plain hard. One thing that really helps me in this area is having friends and family members whom I can talk with about anything (especially if they’re single, too, and spiritually mature).

They’ll listen to all my moaning and grumbling and huffing and puffing. They might even sympathize a little bit with me. But then they’ll give me the truth that God is using this time in my life to grow me closer to Him and those around me and that He has my future already mapped out much better than anything I could imagine.

When I stay consistent with my Bible reading, listen to my parents’ advice and wisdom, and surround myself with grounded friends, it improves my focus and joyfulness in a huge way.

Q: What’s your advice and encouragement to us as single girls?

A: Two things.

Use the time you have now to serve the Lord and make memories with those around you! There’s not really a better time in your life to learn to serve and to enjoy doing it with those God has placed in your life. If you don’t make memories now and just breeze through life, ten years from now you’ll look back and think, If only I had used the time I had then to the fullest .

Look ahead to the future!

I was recently reading a friend’s blog who was talking about Valentine’s Day. When she began to think ahead to what this year might hold (instead of becoming bogged down in what she didn’t have), it completely changed her outlook. That’s what I like to do—make memories during this season while looking forward excitedly to what my future holds.

Don’t forget Hebrews 12:1: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

Let’s all run this part of life (when we’re single) with purpose and perseverance.

Because face it: The possibility of us being single forever is very slim (when it feels like singleness is your never-ending future, just take a breath and dive into God’s Word). And when we wake up married, we’re going to be grateful we practiced running our life race well early on, because that race carries over into married life, too!

That wraps up the questions and answers from our anonymous Christian guy friend.

I hope you were challenged and encouraged by his open and honest answers. I’d love to ask you two of the questions that I asked him. I can’t wait to read your answers in the comments section below.

How do you handle Valentine’s Day?

How do you stay focused and joyful as a single?

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19 Responses to A Single Guy’s Perspective on Valentine’s Day

  1. Greg says:

    (from another single guy)

    “How do you handle Valentine’s Day?”

    Spend time on something I enjoy.

    “How do you stay focused and joyful as a single?”

    Reminding myself to be thankful for what God has given me; fair health, family that are still alive, job, car, strength for each day.

  2. Katherine says:

    Love this post

  3. Louis Noles says:

    Single girl:
    How do you handle Valentine’s Day?

    I DON’T. I OFTEN FORGET AND REALIZE IT JUST PASSED ME. It’s just a money-making scam anyway.

    How do you stay focused and joyful as a single?
    I weep, cry, eat chocolate and then look at pictures of Zac Effron.

  4. Elizabeth Williams says:

    And think about how your future husband is out there going through Valentine’s alone as well! And pray for him!

  5. Jenna Regan says:

    “The only reason I ever start feeling sorry for myself is because I start thinking of myself in the first place.”

    Thank you for the encouragement to keep our eyes fixed on our Heavenly Father. We are in the perfect season for “such a time as this” and in HIS divine timing, our season will change to marriage. For now may our focus be on becoming that beautiful bride of HaShem!

  6. Olivia Scott says:

    I just try to focus on God’s amazing love for me! He has such GREAT plans for me and I absolutely cant wait to see them! He is faithful and He is so very good. He is head over heels in love with me, in spite of all my flaws, and He is my first, and true love. Even if I ever do get married one day, He still has to remain in that place in my life, because I’ll never find true joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, contentment, or the love I’m really needing any other place. And I also just want to try to focus on others this weekend and be an encouragement to them! 🙂 So excited to see what He has in store! <3

  7. Beth says:

    It helps that my birthday is the day after :D. Other than that, my mom leaves us treats at our places in the morning, and we kids try to do something for our parents and each other. One year, my siblings and I made waffles, put music on, and lit candles in the dining room so our parents could have a “date” at our “restaurant”. Focusing on others (especially family) really does help–beyond just not sulking, you actually feel happy and purposeful (and a tad mischievous with secrets and sibling pacts and all that). Also, seeing how sad and lonely my parents feel sometimes with just one child in college makes me want to spend/invest all the time I can in them now–before I do marry and start my own home.

  8. Jasmine Luna says:

    How I will handle Valentine’s Day…
    This year, I decided that on Valentine’s Day, I’m not going to go on any social media. I don’t want to be exposed to let any envy in and let it stir up discontentment.

    The way I stay focused and joyful as a single…
    I try not to focus on myself. I don’t just sit there, moping and complaining that my Prince hasn’t come. I try to focus on God and His Word. Busying myself with things that can help others. I’m happy for my friends who have someone to share Valentine’s Day with, and encourage those who are still waiting on God’s timing. 🙂

    The Lord just brought a verse to my mind.. “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside You. My flesh and my heart fail: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26

  9. Elaine says:

    How do I handle Valentine’s day?
    Generally I forget that it exists because it means nothing to me. I don’t need a special day to think about how good God has been to me. He reminds me of it so often through His love and compassion.
    How do I stay focused and joyful as a single?
    I can’t remember exactly what verse it is but it says somewhere in the Bible that a virgin (unmarried) woman can devote herself fully to the Lord, while a married woman’s desires are about how she can please her husband. For the first time since I was thirteen, I have fully come to love the fact that I am single, because I can devote myself fully to the work of the Lord. I love Him so much and at this point I don’t want to share that love with any other man. I have needed this time for years and am so thankful that God has changed the path of my heart this way. That is how I stay focused and joyful as a single girl.

  10. thehappygirl says:

    How cool to hear from a single guy! It is always interesting to see how they see things. Here are my Q&A’s:

    Q. How do you handle Valentine’s Day?
    A. Almost every year, I’ve basically just wallowed in self pity all day. But this year is different. I’m genuinely happy for those who’ve found love and am trusting God will bring me someone in His time. I also try to remember how much God and others love me, that always makes me feel special 🙂 Plus, I like to buy my sweet siblings something for V-Day (they’re pretty amazing!). Oh, and do something nice for my parents too, whether it be a gift card to a restaurant they love or just making a meal for them to enjoy… Or something entirely different! It’s good to mix things up a little bit.

    Q. How do you stay focused and joyful as a single?
    A. I try to focus on following the J.O.Y. principle: put Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last. Being single gives me the opportunity to grow closer to my Heavenly Father and a great chance to serve others and build better relationships with them! Sometimes it gets a little lonely, but I know I’m never truly alone in Christ. I believe God is bringing me a good godly man, and I’m using this time to prepare for marriage. I’m just trusting that God has a plan for me in this season of singleness.

    Happy Valentines Day y’all! <3

  11. Eliza Noel says:

    I guess I don’t really struggle with this yet. Probably because I feel I am still too young to have a “special someone”. I enjoy Valentine’s day with my family. It’s not really anything huge but I think this year we’ll probably eat treats and watch a Hallmark movie. When I was younger I used to put on a Valentine’s day tea party and invite a bunch of the neighberhood girls. It was kind of a way I would get a chance to minister to them.

  12. First Amendment says:

    Stop complaining that you don’t have a valentine on Valentine’s Day.
    Some people don’t have groundhogs on Groundhog Day.

    • Leanne says:

      Dear First Amendment,

      The one thing that I will tell you is that I understand what it’s like to not hold the opinion that the majority of people in a certain community hold. Now I wholeheartedly agree with the message of girl they find; on a different note, however, there is a majority camp of Christians that are around me in school who believe that evangelism should be a carefully tread upon matter, and we should be careful not to offend our friends with our faith. They tell me that my traditional all out there methods of evangelism aren’t going to reach my peers as effectively as building strong relationships. Which I don’t disagree with, but I think that we must have strong mass evangelism efforts too. 99% of Christians disagree with me on the latter. So I know what it’s like to be a fish out of the water, and I can relate to you that way.

      Nonetheless, I still stand for the principles of infallable, inerrant holy Scripture.

  13. Jessica says:

    I like to think of what love truly is, such as is defined in 1 Corinthians 13 – Love is patient, love is kind,..etc… I also enjoy making others feel special on that day – people I care about such as my friends and family. I just started working full time last year and this year I am excited about making cookies for all of my co-workers for Valentine’s Day! 🙂 I totally agree with this post! I am trying to live my single life to the fullest and looking forward to what God has in store for me!

  14. Gabrielle says:

    Thanks for sharing this!! I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a particular attitude about Valentine’s Day until a couple years ago. Last year I was at a wedding, which was neat. I definitely can’t go the day without thinking about my future husband, and what the day would be like if I were married……hmmmm…… Anyway, this year I was so thrilled that it was on a Sunday so I could completely focus on loving my wonderful God, and thinking on His great love for us!!! I decided that I would intentionally think about how much I love Him, and how much He loves me every Valentine’s Day, instead of being a little sad that I don’t have that “someone special.”

  15. Gabrielle says:

    How do you stay focused and joyful as a single? Well, I always keep Eph. 5:15, 16 before me. It helps me to remember that we’re living in the last days, and we must share Jesus with others while we still can. I’m reminded that I am not here to get married, but to live for Christ, and be a witness. Also, this year I’ve made the determination to passionately pursue Christ no matter what. I strive to continually develop my relationship with God and fall madly in love Him, and allow Him to write my love story. Plus, I try to learn new things in preparation for later in life, study and understand things such as politics and keep up with what’s going on; cooking, volunteer at places, and just develop as a person!! I also look for way to serve others, and have fun with friends, which helps me enjoy where I am in life right now!

  16. Heather Emma Marie England says:

    I agree with your friend. There’s never been a Valentine’s Day where I wasn’t single, so I’ve had 21 years to deal with it! I just use it as a day to show my family how I feel about them. I try to give them a little something special, like last year I made my parents and little brothers little candy bouquets.

    As for the second question…that’s something I struggle with. I’ve been working on being content with my life now, as a single girl. I used to think my life wouldn’t start until I found that man and got married, and now I know that isn’t true. I can use this time to my advantage and work on having a strong, solid relationship with the Lord before I begin my next season of life. I’ve been doing a lot better the last couple months and I can’t wait to see where the Lord takes me! 🙂

  17. Eunice says:

    I’m single, nearly turning 23 and enjoy seeing godly relationships flourish. For some reason, Valentines Day or any other day centered on having a significant other never bothered me.

    This piece helped me understand some of my single friends who are bothered/disheartened during these times. Thanks for the insight, I will make sure to point them towards Him and not just dismiss their sadness or make light of their worry.

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