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Why Your Singleness is a Really Big Deal

By: Bethany Beal

Have you ever had one of those AH-HA moments in your life?

I had one of those last week as I was talking to a friend at church about her recent broken engagement. She shared with me her heartache, but also the hope of knowing that God is sovereign and He does have a plan for her life.

God knew her engagement would be broken and still allowed her to go through it for a very specific reason.

Although she may not understand why, she is choosing to trust God and praise Him through this storm.

She went on to explain how she is grateful that God is giving her another chance to serve Him in her single years. She looks forward to the day she will one day be married but she knows that this time of singleness, however long it may be, is a very unique time to serve God with all that she is.

That is when I had my AH-HA moment.

I love ministry and I am passionate about serving God and investing in relationships, but I didn’t view this time in my life as a set-apart time to serve God in a very unique way.

After I got home and had some time to think about it, I realized that those years from high school graduation to marriage are typically short. Most girls get married in their twenties, which means that after high school we only have on average five to seven years of singleness.

Yeah, so? Why is singleness such a big deal?

Think with me for a second. What do the majority of girls do after high school? Typically they get a job, start college, hang out with friends whenever they can, follow the latest TV shows, get a boyfriend, go on vacation, etc.

The majority of the time, we do not use these activities and pursuits to serve God and invest in eternity. Rather, we work to make ourselves feel special and important. But as Christian young women, shouldn’t our activities after high school look different than the world’s?

I was challenged to think about the few years of my singleness in a new light.

What if you devoted some of your single years to things like…

  • Serving in the church.
  • Planning girl’s events.
  • Hosting Bible studies.
  • Mentoring younger girls in your community.
  • Attending women’s Bible studies.
  • Serving your family.
  • Taking over some of your parents’ household tasks.
  • Preparing family meals.
  • Taking care of your grandparents.
  • Volunteering in nursing homes or crisis pregnancy centers.
  • Baby-sitting for free.
  • Writing encouraging notes to friends and family.
  • Coordinating events for your family and church.
  • Memorizing Scripture with your siblings and young ladies at church.

These are just a few of the ways you as a single girl can serve God and bless those in your own neck of the woods.

If God calls you and me to get married, that means our single years are dwindling away and will be gone before we know it.

Once we get married, our main ministry will be to our husbands which will shift our primary focus away from other things.

In Matthew 20:27–28 Jesus reminds us that we are here on this earth to serve, not to be served.

As we both wait for marriage, our time as single girls is ticking away. And married or not, our lives are just a vapor (James 4:14).

What will you do with the time that God has given you right now? Will you spend these single years focused on yourself or serving God? Will you build your skills to serve Christ or make your name greater? Will you spend your thoughts on guys or on God?

For more inspiration on this topic check out Kristen’s post, Planning a Future You Won’t Regret.

When your single years are gone, what will you have to show for the years God has given you?

Photo credit: | Rebecca Lopez

Why Your Singleness is a Really big Deal

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13 Responses to Why Your Singleness is a Really Big Deal

  1. Christine says:

    It seems like that list of things to do while single can also be done in a relationship, yeah? None of those have to do with being single or not and if you’re with the right guy, you should still be able to serve like that because he will encourage it! those are responsibilities we all have as followers of Christ regardless of our relationship status 🙂

    • Gods_girlcoco says:

      Good point!

    • GirlDefined says:

      Great point Christine. I agree that we should continue to serve God as a single or in a relationship. The goal of this post was to encourage girls to think through their single years so that they don’t waste them. These are valuable years in a girls life and we want each of you to take advantage of the opportunity to serve God before a guy comes on the scene.

  2. Gods_girlcoco says:

    Another amazing post!!!!!

  3. Abby says:

    Amen! Great post! 🙂

  4. Mama Baird says:

    Such wonderful godly wisdom! Great job, Bethany!

  5. Elizabeth Williams says:

    Most people look at singleness as a curse or something. However, God has been showing me that it doesn’t have to be! Singleness can be a great time in a young woman’s life 🙂

  6. Ally Pearce says:

    Very encouraging post!

  7. Ann Garcia says:


  8. Reality says:

    Hate being single, especially when all your family members and friends are Settled Down

  9. Michael M says:

    When you’re single, you have to get branded a lesbian ( or a homosexual ), and then your ministry is compromised !

  10. Monique says:

    Its funny.. I have never not liked the idea of being single. Im 21, and Im loving my single years!! I LOVE this post, and that list at the end gave me a few new good ideas I hadn’t thought of 🙂 Thank you so much for your testimony and encouragement <3

  11. Olivia White says:

    Yay! I do almost all of those, and yes, I’m busy, but its the best kind of busy!!

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