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Why Smart Girls Applaud Chivalry (From a Guy)

By: Beecher Proch (Guest)

If you’re like some girls I know, you think chivalry has gone extinct. Or at least is in hibernation. Even as a guy, I look around and see so few men being courteous to women.

It’s surprising (not to mention embarrassing). I am constantly asking myself “Is chivalry dead?” Let me be honest: I don’t think it is. I see examples of it in men all around me. It’s just not as common as it used to be.

Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines “chivalry” as “the system of knighthood; the privileges, characteristics or manners of knights; the practice of knight errantry [if you’re wondering what “errantry” means, it was used to describe knights who roamed the land seeking adventure and displaying their heroism and generosity] or the heroic defense of life and honor.”

A knight was bold, gallant, warlike, and inspired other men and boys to follow in his footsteps.

I hate to break it to you, but I’m not seeing many examples of “knighthood” in our culture today.

The only “night” some guys seem to know is the time of day when they can roll over and go to sleep with cheese puff residue still on their fingers after a long hard day of…video games.

Knowing that quite a few guys wouldn’t even know it’s polite to open a door for a woman makes it all the better when I see a man of any age opening doors, carrying bags, or whatever it might be to show that they care for women. Because at the root of chivalry is sacrifice.

As bold, gallant, or warlike as a true knight is, his actions are grounded not in personal gain but in service to others.

You might be asking yourself, “Well that sounds great, but besides (insert name) and (insert name), the guys around seem pretty lame.”

I’d have to agree with you. What’s causing this?

One factor is that we don’t embrace and acknowledge the unique way God created men and women.

We turn differences into hindrances.

Let me explain: the world thinks that if a woman allows a man to do something for her, somehow she’s “weaker” or more insignificant. This leads her to refuse any help from a man whatsoever.

Which makes the man feel like he’s not needed. If he’s not needed, why should he treat any woman with respect or courtesy? (Let me share a secret here girls. Guys hate rejection. But they hate feeling unnecessary even more.)

Recently I was on a business trip and spent several days with longtime family friends. On one of our first outings, I informed their daughter that “when any woman is with me, I open her door. That’s just how it is.” She pushed back, saying that it was nice but that it might make her look like she was lazy or couldn’t do it herself, and just taking advantage of me.

I continued to get her door after that but it didn’t feel the same.

“Guys like to be appreciated” a friend recently told me, and I agree.

99.9% of women I know would be thrilled if the men in their lives were true gentlemen. If you’re wondering how to spur on guys around you to be that gentleman, here’s one thing I would suggest that you do: ALLOW, yes, allow guys to open the door, get your grocery bags, open your car door.

This is encouragement enough for a guy in my experience to step up and be a man. And ladies, please, I ask on behalf all men everywhere – show that you’re grateful for a man in your life who treats you well.

Proverbs 16:24 tells us that “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Encouraging words can make a huge difference to a guy! You may not have a knight in shining armor by tomorrow, but you will have a Godly man stepping up to become a real man today.

There will never be the perfect man.

In fact, throughout all of history there has been only one who was perfect: Jesus Christ. He cared for those who were looked down upon (Matthew 14:14), was passionate about things that mattered (Matthew 21:12-13) and loved children (Matthew 19:14). He took our sins on Himself and died a horribly painful death (Matthew 27:32-54). His own father had to turn His face away from Him. THIS was the ultimate sacrifice anyone will ever make.

And the good news? He rose from the grave three days after His death and was reunited with God the Father, making it possible for all of us one day to live with the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and ultimate example of chivalry for eternity.

That is sacrifice. That is love.

For more reading on this topic, especially if you want to pass an article on to a man in your life you know would like it…or needs it, check out Matt Walsh’s blog “Chivalry is Out of Style”.

As a guy, I personally think it’s really smart for a girl to embrace chivalry. It will not only encourage men towards God given masculinity, it will also encourage girls to embrace God given femininity.

Let me hear your thoughts! 

  • When a guy in your life is chivalrous/courteous to you, how do you show them you appreciate them?
  • What are some other ways girls can encourage guys in their quest for chivalry?

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | 49268016

Night in armor

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  • Jill

    What if you have a younger brother and I, the older sister, am the driver? Does my brother open the driver’s side door for me? Just wondering.

    • Great question @Jill I (Bethany) have a younger brother and know exactly what you are talking about. I personally think it is great practice and preparation. My younger brother has chosen to open my door even when I’m driving. I would definitely recommend it 🙂

  • Elizabeth Williams

    Thanks for this article. It really goes along with another one that was on here not long ago. It can be really discouraging because there aren’t many real men around these days, or at least it seems that way. But it’s encouraging to know that there really are, and that we as ladies can be an encouragement to those guys 🙂

  • Great article, Beecher! I really enjoyed hearing a guys thoughts on this subject. Very encouraging! 🙂

  • SavedbyGrace

    Really good post!!! It was perfect timing because yesterday i was having this exact conversation with of few of the guys in my life who weren’t stepping up and being a man. I’m gonna go off on a little bunny trail, I hope that’s okay:) Anyway, before church service every Sunday, everyone has Sunday school. There are different age groups, and different teachers for each category. Well, I’m in the teenager’s group, where there are only like 10 kids in the entire class. The guys outnumbered us girls 6-4. Our teacher asked if one of the guys wanted to pray for our class, well, no one raised their hand:( And they all just sat there with blank stares! And in my mind I was like “seriously guys? He just asked u to do a short prayer! That’s it! And you’re not being man enough to stand up and pray to God?” I watched our teacher sigh as he asked the same question again. He was disappointed that no one had immediately raised their hand in the first place. And I totally get his frustration. Someone finally said he’d do it after our teacher kind of put him on the spot. It’s just sad, honestly that these guys don’t jump for Christ the first time when called. Listen, I encourage these guys all the time about opening the doors for me or doing some sweet gesture of any sort!:) And I love these guys to death, because most of them are my family members. But sometimes it’s REALLY hard not to get a little frustrated with these guys, when I see them just “sitting on their hands”, just wasting time that could be used for Christ. None of them are saved unfortunately, and I do understand that is a factor that contributes to them not being a man of God. But they really have no excuse, because they have been raised on the right teaching and examples of how to be a man of God all their lives! I sweetly explained this to them last night at dinner. I was telling them how much women NEED the population of men to STEP Up and be the leader! And it starts with just a small group of guys just like them. I told them that when they don’t step up when called on, the women feel vulnerable and tend to just do what has to be done themselves. Because someone has to be a leader, and if the guys aren’t filling that position, then who will? So anyway, Beecher, this post came at a very opportune time:) I hope I don’t sound like I’m ranting or anything:) It’s just after awhile, you get tired as a girl, doing what the guy should be doing. And I tend to have a lot to say on the subject, because I’m very passionate about the guys standing up for Christ and doing what God has called them to do. They have so many opportunities to step up to the plate, but when they don’t we do:( They know that girls don’t want them to be “wimps”. So why aren’t they stepping up?? All I know that I can do is just continue to pray for them:) I do trust God ultimately, and I know that He will take care of me:) It’s just lately, me and all the other girls in my church keep asking the same question, “Where are the MEN of God?” It seems like we have a MAN shortage!:) Again Amazing post! Totally of the Lord!

    • A

      @SavedbyGrace, first, your concern for the young men in your life is encouraging. So please don’t think I’m trying to put you down in any way. It’s just that I want to address a few points you brought up.

      The number one thing that concerns me in your post is that you admit none of these young men are saved. No matter how godly their upbringing, I don’t think they can be expected to be “men of God” if they don’t profess a relationship with Him. I mean, a change of actions can’t really come without a change of heart.

      The second part relates to your asking why these young men aren’t stepping up. You mention that they have been raised on the right examples, but are they really seeing God in the fathers and older men of your congregation and community? I’m not asking you to judge those men, but think about it. If they aren’t actually being shown in real life what being a “man” means, it’s going to be hard for them to be MEN themselves.

      If they are actually being led in the right direction, I would say the problem goes back to the heart issue.

      Now, like I said, I’m not trying to put you down. I’m no expert myself, but I do have a younger brother and I share some of your concern. Unfortunately, there are a lot of factors fighting against his becoming a MAN of God. There’s only so much I can do to influence him, and being a young woman (who is also struggling in her own relationship with God), I don’t think it’s my place to take responsibility for his path – it’s easy to cross the fine line into nagging, and I’ve already earned the title of “second mom”. I can, of course, encourage him and pray for him. In fact, prayer is the best choice we can make.

      • SavedbyGrace

        A, I appreciate your comment. You challenged me to think a little bit. I agree that it is a heart issue that no one can fix but God! This particular group of guys have plenty of great examples throughout our church and our families. Our church on a side note is not a huge one, it only consists of like 250 people. So it’s not hard for them to look around at examples. And all of these boys’ fathers are true men of God! They’re hardworking,spiritual leaders in their homes, and really are men’s men. So why these younger guys struggle with being men, I don’t know. Men of God…that relays back to the spiritual condition of their hearts. I get that, but the fact that they literally sit back, and act as if they have no responsibility to be what God created them to be, that’s where my frustration lies. The fact that they have no motivation whatsoever kind of annoys me as well. It’s an attitude that is very passive, and like I said in the comment above, it puts a lot of women in a vulnerable position that they don’t want to be put in. You don’t have to be a christian to be a MAN, perform gentlemen gestures, or to even step up and read a passage in the Bible. Would I rather the guys be a men of God? Yes, absolutely! But for me to sit back and not be just a little bit frustrated seems to have a passive attitude as well. I was speaking with another Christian friend about this yesterday afternoon, and he said “Man! For a girl, your really passionate about this subject.” I replied “Wouldn’t you be if you were in my shoes, watching the “future of men” sitting around, not the least bit motivated for life and ultimately, for Christ?” He said “Well, when you put it that way, I totally get your frustration!” So I understand your position “A”, but do you get mine? I choose not to nag when talking to this group of young men, because they already have parents:) As you said above:) But after so long of me letting some of the things that I notice them not doing “slide”, I think it is okay for anyone to be just a little frustrated. Just sayin:) They’ve been led in the right direction, and they have had a Godly environment their whole lives. Plus, they have had plenty of examples of Real men in their lives (saved or unsaved). So all I can take away from that is, that they have no excuse! And like I said before, a girl gets tired after a while of not saying anything about the passive, and lazy way that they are living their lives. I’ll be praying for you and your younger brother! I hope you’ll pray for this group of guys in my life as well:) I’d really appreciate it! Like you said, you can only say so much to them, and try to influence and encourage them to do the right thing for so long. After they keep ignoring you and your council, then you’ve got to take them to the Lord! Only He can save them! I just pray that He saves them before it’s too late:) Much love to you! I’ll be praying!!

  • Mikaela

    I loved this post. This has been a topic with my friends for sometime now. I am about to graduate from college and have become so agitated about the time I have spent at school. As I walk from class to class it is a very rare sight to see an act of chivalry. The guys on campus will walk 3 wide on the side walk where us ladies then have to step aside and walk in the dirt. Instead of holding a door open for us, the moment we open a door to walk in a guy will run up from behind and jump through the door. My friends and i just stand back and wonder if this is some practical joke or if this is really what our society has come too. Seeing this on a daily basis I have geared my Sunday school class to address this. I have children ranging from 6th grade to 4 years old. Even the 4 year old young boy will take a turn holding the door for the young girls and the joy he gets out of it is tremendous. All the girls thank him and I make sure to tell him what a gentlemen he is being. Thank you so much for this post and I would encourage other young women to encourage the men in their lives no matter the age because it truly makes a difference.

  • Liz Halcomb

    Great post Beecher!! Expressing verbal appreciation when guys show chivalry is so important! That’s too bad that that girl was so unenthusiastic about your act of chivalry.

    When I’m out and about in public, I often get an uncertain vibe from guys when it comes to opening doors, etc. Like they’d be willing, but they don’t want to offend the girl. So it can be helpful for girls to spur guys towards chivalry by non-verbal communication as well.

    Example, if a guy and girl are approaching a door at that awkward same-time moment, she can purposefully slow down and give him a friendly smile that says “I’d love it if you’d open the door for me.” This often gives the guy “permission and encourages him for the future!

    • Allie

      Yes! I love that, Lisa! 🙂

  • Cassandra

    “Which makes the man feel like he’s not needed. If he’s not needed, why should he treat any woman with respect or courtesy?” Because she’s a person?????????

    “(Let me share a secret here girls. Guys hate rejection. But they hate feeling unnecessary even more.)”

    “I continued to get her door after that but it didn’t feel the same.”

    What I’m subliminally getting from this post is NOT that women should allow men to act chivalrously because it promotes virtue and servitude, but instead they should do this as to not inadvertently destroy a man’s pride/ego?

    The truth is that some women appreciate these (realistically) menial acts, others don’t. Respect that.

    Along with that, if you, or men that you observe can’t respect women because they don’t want you to open a door for them, then you have some serious and deeply-rooted sexist issues that you need to solve.

    And a question: If you saw that this issue is rampant among men (i.e. acting with disrespect towards women), then why are you asking women to solve the problem??

    • A

      “Which makes the man feel like he’s not needed. If he’s not needed, why should he treat any woman with respect or courtesy?” Please note the paragraph right before that:

      “Let me explain: the world thinks that if a woman allows a man to do something for her, somehow she’s ‘weaker’ or more insignificant. This leads her to refuse any help from a man whatsoever.”

      Opening doors is just the tip of the iceberg. We’ve developed a problem that goes much deeper. Women don’t want men to open the door. Or pick up the dinner tab. Or be the pursuer in the relationship. Or share his last name. Or be the primary provider, disciplinarian, and all-around head of the household. Why? Because somewhere along the line, our God-given, DIFFERENT roles as men and women got interpreted as inequality. I don’t think God ever intended women to be less important than women, but I know He didn’t make us the SAME as men.

      Frankly, expecting a woman to act like a woman, or expecting a man to act like a man is not sexist. It’s how God designed us.

      • A

        “God never intended women to be less important than MEN.” 🙂

      • Azi

        Ooooh–last name, there’s an interesting one. What are your thoughts?

        You know, I wonder if chivalry symbolizing, “Women are super awesome–go help them” would be a “better” interpretation. Or would that just end up going the other extreme (that women are worth MORE)?

        • A

          Well, first let me say that I understand taking the man’s last name in marriage is a tradition that isn’t observed in every culture. But here in the US, it’s something that’s been done for a long time.

          To me, taking your husband’s last name is a way of showing unity. “We are one flesh, one family, one name.” Why is that such a horrible thing? Unfortunately, modern society treats an act of love and (gasp) submission as old-fashioned and sexist.

          • Azi

            Yeah, I get that. I guess the idea of “why the guy’s name?” is what people tend to have problems with. But as you mentioned, it’s something that isn’t observed in all cultures (e.g. many Asian ones).

          • SavedbyGrace

            Amen 100 times A! You hit the nail on the head!!

    • John-Mark Clark

      I think you missed the point of the article.

      I don’t know Beecher personally but I doubt he would mistreat a woman because she didn’t let him open her door.

      As a man, being kind and having a servant mentality is not something I do to boost my ego. Ego and pride are the opposite of humility which is what one does when he or she acts as a servant. If I was trying to ego boost i’d have someone open the door for ME.

      From a guys perspective: If a girl says no thanks I got this. Then it’s basically saying I don’t value your time or effort. At that point why should I keep offering respect above and beyond what is normal if a girl is rude?
      (opening doors is more than common respect you get on the streets)

  • Azi

    I don’t know how I feel about chivalry. Personally, I’m fine with having a guy open a door for me or even holding my bags if he wants to. But speaking as someone who generally doesn’t like asking for help unless absolutely needed, I also wonder how much of chivalry is “girls are weaker; therefore guys must help them.” In other words, when does dependency go TOO far?

    For example (and please feel free to elaborate if I don’t understand something), I don’t know whether just waiting for a guy to open a door for you is particularly kind. I see the point in it, but to me that’s going too far.

    My take is that if I know a guy who likes opening doors because it makes him feel loved and needed, then sure I’ll let him. I’d teach my sons (assuming I have any) to open doors or ask if people need help because it’s a nice thing to do for anyone. But the moment girls start *expecting* guys to do things for them…well, isn’t that like expecting nice things to happen to you when that doesn’t always happen?

    I’ll leave the floor open here: there are so many other things I could add but these are just basic thoughts.

  • Quite Distinguished

    Thank you for this post Beecher! It reminded me of a comment I read years ago that men would rather be respected than loved. Being a gal, I couldn’t ever testify to the veracity of that statement, but I have found that when I intentionally demonstrate respect for the men in my life (whether married or single), I can see a definite difference in them. It’s difficult to describe because in most cases it’s not tangible, but it’s almost a sense of confidence or “standing taller.” It’s rather astounding to me that a simple smile and “thank you” can have such a big impact. Thanks for allowing us a peek into the mind of a guy to experience how our words, expressions, and actions effect the men around us.

    I also like how you show the connection between chivalry and sacrifice. I’d never really thought about it that way before….but I think that’s part of what makes the idea of chivalry so attractive to women (whether or not they actually ALLOW men to be chivalrous….is a different matter). While men want to be respected and appreciated. Women want to be “worth fighting for” (a.k.a. sacrificed for). Reminds me very much of the instructions to husbands and wives in Eph. 5….one is called to love sacrificially, the other to respect and submit.

  • Allie

    This was excellent. Thank you for a wonderful post! I’m so encouraged by your words.

  • Elisabeth

    I love it when a guy is kind enough to open the door, or let’s me go first in line, or is just polite and courteous in any way.This is what our couture is missing and needs.Thanks so much for this post!!It really is true that though a girl shouldn’t be so weak that she can pick up something for herself, she aught to be very pleased when some gallant young man asks to pick it up for her.Even though the only guy I have in my life right now is my dad,I’m gonna work harder to even try to make him feel special.While working to prepare for how I will treat and respect my future husband.

  • Moriah Mari

    I know there’s discussion and various opinions floating arouond here but I just wanted to say that guys who open doors, walk girls to there car in the dark, and offer them their chairs give me hope. I’ll admit, for me, it can be embarrassing to receive “extra” attention but when I remember it’s a gentlemanly act it makes it so much easier to value. I just want to say “Thank you!!!” to all the gentleman out there, you have NO idea how much some of us value you guys!!!

  • Steph M.

    Love this post! I often have the same feelings. I feel like there are barely any good guys out there anymore. Even the ones who could be, aren’t really taught or shown how to. I actually feel kind of honored or special when a guy acts like a gentleman. I hope God brings some more godly and chivalrous (love that word now!) guys into my life. (:

  • Jesusfreak17

    So, I have this really old friend who is a guy and we’re going to meet up to chat and catch up. He’s a childhood friend and as far as I can tell there isn’t anything romantic going on, but he’s defiantly being chivalrous. We haven’t even met up yet and he already said he’d pay for whatever I got. Since we’re not dating, I’m not sure what to do. I want to encourage this attitude in him but I also don’t want to seem flirty or anything of the like. Any suggestions?

  • Garrett Charles Thompson

    Beecher,

    Although I appreciate the ardency with which you argue for the ethic of chivalry in today’s culture, I think you are mistaken or at least confused as to what it is that you are preaching.

    Chivalry is an idealistic notion rooted ostensibly in ‘good intentions’ but is in fact far too utopian of an ideal to be achieved by a modern society, or really any society for that matter. I do not argue that it is archaic and a thing of the past but rather that it was never a ‘thing’. There are no true knights. Despite its high moral standing, Chivalry is an oppressive creed and will only remain in folklore. Yes, there are those who point out the abuses knights of chivalry in the medieval world of Europe and the wars that ensued. However, I wish to go beyond this and look at the ideal itself that transcend the physical consequences of individuals and kingdoms that adhered to it hundreds of years ago. Indeed, the code of chivalry you are promoting requires an unequal distribution of power from the start. It is a very male-centric approach to understanding women and one that would be expected from an unmarried 22 year old single male. This view propagates the vulnerability of women and further propagates negative, oppressive frameworks of social relations and romantic love between men and women.

    In its simplest form, as prescribed in your article, chivalry creates a set of unrealistic expectations for women. Men do these ‘chivalrous’ deeds such as opening doors and carrying grocery bags for a woman. In return, you expect women to be grateful and instruct them not only to encourage such actions but to ALWAYS accept them so that men will feel needed. As you said, ‘guys hate rejection. But they hate feeling unnecessary even more.’ To extrapolate this further, you believe that women should make men feel better about themselves by accepting unwarranted acts of ‘kindness’ to help men become ‘real’ men (?). I’m not exactly sure where you would get this notion. It certainly doesn’t come from scripture. It in fact places the responsibility of chivalry on women rather than on the putative men who are supposed to be practicing it. It doesn’t make sense. More importantly for your readers it is not virtuous nor is it our calling as christian men. It is inherently a shameful act to pronounce the duty of making ‘real men’ as the burden of women. That is a very unethical ethic to live by. Men should be responsible for becoming, as you say, ‘real men’. Additionally, according to you men are supposed to act in a way that is ‘grounded not in personal gain but in service to others’. How can this be accomplished when men are also to expect acceptance from women? As you said, these actions are supposed be wanted and applauded by women so that men can overcome their insecurities and feel necessary. This is very self gratifying ethic, if indeed it can be called that anymore, and it is not focused on selfless service. Rather, it is a vehicle to gain a higher view of one’s self that devalue women. It is a lie.

    **On a side note, it is very curious to me that you portray men as fragile. Indeed, their amour propre (self-worth) can’t even handle a woman saying ‘no thank you’ to ‘acts of service’. Perhaps this describes the men that you are around but it is hardly fair to throw the rest of society into this category. It is not something that is inherent in men.**

    Despite my previous condemnations of your work, I do believe I understand what you are reaching for. It is imperative that men have a code of ethics to operate by regardless of the adulation or even the criticisms of others. It is the act of doing right because it is right not because of the consequences (good or ill) that it renders. This is something that is sometimes altogether missed. When it comes to acts of service towards women, men should expect nothing and think nothing. It should be a part of who they are. An automatic response that should draw little attention to themselves. They certainly shouldn’t be motivated by very visible acts of gallantry and grandeur that the code of chivalry promises. Men should instead ask themselves, ‘what good shall I do today?’ and quietly go about doing it. There is an unassuming nature to the kind of brotherly kindness that men should show women.

    “… make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love…” 2 Peter 1:5-7

    Chivalry is ‘dead’, and for good reason. It existed only in the stories of our own creation.

    • Jesusfreak17

      Hi,
      First, I’d like to acknowledge that you are correct in stating that chivalry is an ideal that humanity cannot reach and that you said a lot of other things in your comment that are true. However, I wonder if you have misread some of the intent and meaning of the article. First, in the issue above, Beecher is not saying that men are expected to be perfectly chivalrous all the time or that it is possible. He’s merely encouraging young women to encourage the men in their world.
      That brings me to my main confusion about your comment. You seem to be forgetting that this is a blog post on “girl defined.” Meaning that the intended audience is… girls. Therefore, it would not make sense to address what guys need to do. I don’t think Beecher was promoting the idea that of “pronounc[ing] the duty of making ‘real men’ as the burden of women.” This article isn’t addressed to men, it’s addressed to women, and therefore instructing us how we can encourage the kind behavior in the people, particularly men, around us, not what men need to do.
      You also say that “To extrapolate this further, you believe that women should make men feel better about themselves by accepting unwarranted acts of ‘kindness’ to help men become ‘real’ men (?). I’m not exactly sure where you would get this notion. It certainly doesn’t come from scripture.” I’m not sure where you got this idea that women should encourage men “to feel better about themselves.” I think Beecher was pointing out that “Guys hate rejection. But they hate feeling unnecessary even more,” to help us understand guys better, not to say we need to fix that. Additionally, encouraging good works IS in the Bible: Hebrews 10:24 says, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” This is a way to do that.
      While I disagree with what you said, thank you so much for taking the time to share your opinion with us. No one is ever completely right and we need help seeing it sometimes.
      Jesusfreak17

  • I really like chivalry buuuuut I think sometimes its a little overboard!!! The point is that we’re the weaker vessel! We’re weaker BUUUUT NOT HELPLESS!!! I can understand on special occasions guys opening the car door for the woman buuuuut EVERY TIME after marriage…IDK…I just don’t think that’s protecting us…its just wasting time…Jus sayin!!! I would much prefer a guy to offer help on my car when its not working or changing a tire or lifting something that I actually can’t lift! That’s MY OPPINION!!!

  • Nola

    OK, let me start by saying, I agree with you 100% that guys should be selfless and sacrifice themselves for others and do things like hold doors, help carry things and stuff like that. However, if its about following Christ’s example and being selfless and putting others before ourselves, girls should be doing that too. The question is not, should guys hold the door for a girl? Of course he should. The question is, is it a sin or wrong if a girl holds a door or helps a guy carry something? Of course not. I hold the door open for guys all the time, and not for any sinful reason or anything like that or for any reason other then that I want to help another human being. Also, lets say I saw a guy carrying a bunch of stuff or really heavy stuff or he looked like he was struggling. You’re telling me I shouldn’t help? In what world is not helping the Christian thing to do? I love getting the door held open for me by both guys and girls. It always makes my day. Its a nice thing to do. But I also love holding the door open for others, both guys and girls alike. That also makes my day too, because I love helping others. Also, no where in the Bible does it say any of this stuff that you guys are saying. The bottom line is, you should hold doors for everyone, you should always help people carry things, and gender should not affect how well or how much respect you treat somebody with.


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