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When “The Best of Me” Isn’t That Good

By: Kristen Clark

Boy meets girl, they “fall in love,” they jump in bed together, and then grow up and move miles apart.

Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end there.

If having sex before marriage wasn’t bad enough, this pair of high school sweethearts return to their hometown many years later and decide to hook up again.

There’s a catch though. She now has a husband.

Instead of remaining faithful to her husband and family, she believes “fate” is reuniting her with her former beau. Instead of telling him, “Sorry, I’m married and can’t go out with you anymore,” she jumps at the chance to rekindle an old flame.

In dazzling lights and heartfelt drama, she commits adultery.

Moviegoers are moved to tears as this romance unfolds.

The audience is convinced that committing adultery isn’t so bad if you’re married to a drunk, dud of a husband. They’re convinced that “fate” was pulling this couple together from the beginning. They’re convinced that her current marriage and family are the only thing standing in the way of true love.

Millions of girls and women are drying their tears after watching this movie…but they’re not tears of sadness.

If you don’t already know what I’m talking about, it’s the new movie based on Nicolas Spark’s book, The Best of Me.

Regardless of what Nicolas Sparks thinks, sometimes “the best of me” isn’t all that good.

I normally don’t write movie reviews or address the latest trends in Hollywood, but when a popular song or movie comes out and all the Christians are talking about how much they love it, I take a second glance.

A Christian girl I know recently had a friend tell her how amazing this movie was and how she just HAD to go see it.

My friend listened patiently then asked her friend if the main character has sex with another guy’s wife. The girl looked shocked at the question and responded by saying, “Well…yeah…if you want to look at it that way. But it wasn’t really wrong because she had a horrible husband. She loved the other guy way more.”

We live in a culture where love and sex are tossed around wherever our emotions take us.

Marriage and commitment are considered a thing of the past.

If you’ve seen this movie or are planning on seeing it, I hope you’ll take some time to carefully consider what you’re watching. The world is genius at making sin look romantic and sweet, and movies like this are a perfect example.

As Christians, we have to take a step back from the dramatized, emotion-driven scenes and ask ourselves what God thinks.

When considering this movie, we know three Biblical truths for a fact:

1. Sex before marriage is a sin. Period. No matter how “in love” a young couple might be…sex outside of marriage is a rebellious act against God’s design.

2. If you’re a married woman, having sex with someone other than your husband is a sin. Period. It doesn’t matter how stupid or drunk your husband is, you are commanded by God to be faithful to him until death separates you.

3. Love is an action, not a feeling. True love doesn’t give up on the hard cases. It keeps loving and pursuing until the end. It doesn’t follow its emotions, but leads itself with truth.

Entertainment may seem harmless, but in reality, it’s one of the most deadly things out there.

You may think that sex outside of marriage and adultery are wrong now, but wait until 25 chick flicks later…you probably won’t feel the same anymore.

That’s why God specifically commands us to guard our hearts: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

God commands us to guard our minds too: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8).

And the Psalmist challenges us by saying, “I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it” (Psalm 101:3).

To be honest, I haven’t watched this movie myself and don’t plan on it.

I did the research, read the reviews, and heard enough bad reports to know it wasn’t a good option.

I’m not writing this post to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but I hope you’ll seriously consider what you’re filling your mind with before stepping into the theater to watch The Best of Me.

Let’s make it personal:

  • Do you find yourself getting swayed by worldly thinking if you watch a movie like this?
  • What negative effects have chick flicks had on your view of love, sex and romance?
  • Are you willing to say no to movies that glorify sin and justify it as a good thing?

Photo Credit: www.flickr.com | Khánh Hmoong

Girl and boy with flowers

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  • AnnM

    Thank you for sharing this Kristen. Encouraged.

  • Elizabeth

    Wow, I’ve seen the previews for this movie, but didn’t know what it was really about. What’s bad is that so many girls will see previews and be like “Aw, a sweet love story” and then go see it. Thanks for writing this post!

    • Good point Elizabeth…we all need to be on our guard and not get swayed by an “emotionally gripping” movie trailer.

  • Hannah Jane Lynch

    This is an amazing piece about some of the pitfalls that I seen my friends falling into. I do fall into them sometimes but find it getting easier to avoid the more I make myself not look for it. You girls are doing amazing things here and Thank you for that! God Bless!!

    • Thanks for commenting Hannah. We always love hearing from you! So grateful this blog post was encouraging to you.

  • Jacey Faith

    Great article! It is sickening that so many people fall for movies like that. Its disgusting. Thankfully none of my friends do things like that

  • Ruth

    Thank you for this post! Two of my friends went to see it yesterday and I will admit that I was a little upset that they didn’t invite me. Now I’m glad, as I plan on not watching this movie and being more careful in guarding my heart. It’s easy to fall into peer pressure and want to watch movies you know are promoting sin and ungodliness, but just because “all” your friends are watching it doesn’t mean you have to. I’m definitely trying to weed out my life. Thanks for all the great articles that help put things into perspective!

    • Hey Ruth, isn’t it awesome when God protects us from bad things, even when we don’t realize it?? I am grateful you didn’t see this movie either. I’ve been right where you were when all of your friends go to see something and you don’t. I think standing alone is one of the hardest things about being a Christian. Doing what’s right isn’t always easy, but it DOES always please God. And He’s the one we’re living for anyways. Keep standing for truth girl! You’re doing a great job.

  • Mama Baird

    Great post…. Nicely done, Kristen!

  • Patricia Couto

    Why you didnt accept my question? Is anything wrong there?? Sorry if i didnt understand..

  • Briana Soto

    I had seen the previews and was happy and in awe but that was only in my flesh. Spiritually I knew that this movie is bad news. It seems to me she is going to “follow her heart.” I feel the world Sugar Coats the bad stuff. But if she follows her heart she is for sure going against the Bible but who cares right it’s what looks hot and popular for the human flesh. Wrong. Hollywood doesn’t relize what false image they are giving to the young women and men today. Following your heart is bad idea, the Bible clearly says “The heart is decietful and desperately wicked who can know it.” So this movie is one that I think should be watched with caution.

    • We couldn’t agree more Briana. Following your heart is a BIG theme for Hollywood, but it goes directly against what God teaches us to do. Our culture is great at sugar coating sin and making it look harmless and tasteful. We must stay plugged into God’s Word so we don’t get swayed into enjoying and condoning movies with messages like this one.

  • Bianca Ortiz

    You girls always encouraging me! Thank you so much! At the feet of Christ and for His TRUTH!

  • Laís

    Hello,
    Girls…I´m from Brazil. I love reading since I was a kid and I was only 12
    when I read “A Walk to Remember” by Nicholas Sparks. Personally, I think he has
    some good books with healthy messages for us. If you read “The Wedding”, for
    example, you will see a man working hard to save his marriage after many years
    and hard times. Unfortunately, “The Best of Me” is not a good book and
    obviously it couldn´t be a good movie. The history tries to tell us that if you
    are “in love”, you must follow your heart – even if you have to destroy your
    marriage and family. Nicholas Sparks usually says that he is a Christian but
    THIS book was a terrible idea. The woman comes back to her husband in the end.
    But yes, she commits adultery and creates a bad situation for her mother,
    husband and kids. It´s sad to see that we live in a culture that bring us a
    wrong concept of love. When you lie to your husband and follow an old boyfriend,
    you are NOT living a love story. We´re talking about a sin. You are considering
    only your fleshy desires and living a selfish story when you are thinking just
    in your brief pleasure. As any other sin, it will bring sadness, pain and
    terrible consequences. A true love story is when the heart of your partner is
    precious for you like your own heart. And you honor you marriage and don´t give
    up of your husband/wife. Great post, girls. Congratulations! And sorry for my English!
    I´m still learning.

    • Thanks for sharing you insight 🙂 We really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!

  • jessica

    I have to say something- you’d said that it doesn’t matter how drunk your husband is- you’re commanded by God to stay with him(?) until death separates you..I put the question mark there Cuz I thought maybe I misquoted you and didn’t want to do that. But I also had this question…what if he beats you when he’s drunk? The statement that was made above left no room for exceptions or mercy really. I realize the point of your article and while it is not right for someone in a bad marriage to go and sleep with someone who is not their spouse, unless the other spouse is willing to repent from beating his wife, it would not be God’s plan for his daughter or any woman to endure
    beatings and being endangered by someone they loved. I just wanted to point that out and help you see a point of view that allows room for interpretation and for the sake of not condemning those who’ve made the mistake of marrying someone who beats them and then left their marriage because the spouse who beat them was unwilling to repent. And there are women out there who have found themselves in that situation and got out but are not sleeping with someone else’s husband.

    • Hey Jessica,

      Thanks for pointing that out. We agree that a woman should protect herself and not remain in an unsafe situation. That doesn’t mean she should divorce her husband or run off with another man. She can remain faithful to her husband while keeping herself safe as needed.

      We are saddened for women who find themselves in those situations and pray that all of the young girls who read this blog will make a wise decision with who they choose to marry.

      Hope that clarified 🙂

      • Ruby

        I do agree with this, but isnt there something in the bible which says there is an exception to separation. It is just if your husband is being unfaithful and it is constant and wont stop? I think I’ve heard that before. Sorry, its just a question which popped into my head while reading through comments. I just don’t want to be confused. Love the article by the way. (: it was good for me to read.

        • Christi

          Yeah Ruby, there’s one exception which is found in 1 Corinthians 7 v 10 – 16. If a man and a woman married as unbelievers (I think) and one becomes a believer (e.g. the woman) and the husband wants a divorce then ‘let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.’ (NKJV) I realise this reply is a year late but hopefully it’ll help someone else! 🙂

      • Jason Garrick Shirtz

        +GirlDefined,

        What’s the point of staying faithful to an abusive husband?

        Is a contract fulfilled is worth more than the health, happiness, sanity and well being of a woman, and any children she may have?

        Are you seriously suggesting that in extreme cases of abuse, that demand a woman be separated from her husband for the sake of her and her children’s physical safety, that rather than divorcing him, they should merely be separated, and that she live out the rest of her life in that manner?

  • Ana Yefimov

    I think what she meant was, that after a whole bunch of the same message thrown at you over and over again, your mind starts accepting it. It’s kind of like a smelly house. At first it’s horrible, but after a while you don’t smell it anymore. It’s the same way with the messages that the world is trying to portray. At first, you think it’s really bad that they are committing adultery (or whatever the case), but after movie after movie, relaying the same message, your mind starts to agree with what you hear. I hope this helped clarify what she tried to say.

    • thehappygirl

      I know this is a year late… but @anayefimov:disqus is right and gives a great example. The more we’re exposed to something, the more calloused we become towards it.

  • Becca

    Very good post!

  • Marla Erika Suan

    Excellent discussion. I’ve watched a movie having similar theme with The Best of Me. And it tears my world apart. One of my teacher recommends it and my friends also watched it and they loved it. But in the long run I suffer from tormenting sexual thoughts and images because of it. Starting from the flirting and the rebelliousness of a girl just to be with the guy. I wonder how dirty their love story is. Lust is truly never satisfies. The passion of the two teens were very destructive in their personal lives and to other people. I wonder maybe our culture sink into this dead-end and feeds our younger generation what is like to fall into lust. And maybe that’s the reason some of its viewers bought on that perversion. Just thinking, sometimes entertainment industry gives in to the demands of the most. Or maybe they just need to be rescued and know their Savior. I’m pretty sure with the last maybe. Thanks Bethany with your insights. I’ll make it my choice not to fill my mind with garbage.

  • grace

    We have the same thought. Great post! 🙂


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