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Twenty Nine Years Old and Never Been Kissed

By: Bethany Baird

When I committed to this whole “saving my first kiss for marriage,” I never imagined I’d have to wait 29+ years.

I imagined I would be married by twenty-one or twenty-two years old (okay, twenty-three at the latest).

Trust me when I say that I never imagined I would be twenty-nine and never been kissed.

That just wasn’t a part of my plan. My plans as a teen girl looked much different than what has become my actual reality.

Even though I’m twenty-nine years old and remain a virgin, I’m so grateful to God for giving me the strength to hold to my commitments. In a world that tosses sex around like a toy, saving something as simple as a kiss can seem crazy in the eyes of many people.

I get it. I know it might seem a little weird.

The reason I’m telling you about my unkissed status is not to have a holy-brag-session about myself. I’m not here trying to boast in myself or to shame you if you’ve kissed or had sex. I just want you to know that although the culture treats purity like a joke and tosses sex around like a toy, there are still Christian women who value purity.

I am fighting for purity in my life and I want to encourage you to stay strong in the fight.

Staying strong doesn’t mean you have to save your first kiss for your wedding day.

That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that God values your sexuality as a woman and He has a purpose and plan for this area of your life. He designed sex. He designed the man and the woman and He has a good plan and place for you to express your sexual desires.

Don’t give up on purity just because it’s hard. Don’t give up just because it feels like everyone else is having sex. Don’t give up because you read Cosmo and they seem to have the hottest tips, tricks, and ideas about your sexuality. Don’t give up because you feel like you’re the only one waiting.

You aren’t alone in this fight.

I am in this battle with you. God is by your side in this fight. He is your strength. He is your rock. He is your guide towards truth as you fight the lies coming at you every day.

The next time you feel down and discouraged about saving sex for marriage, or simply fighting for purity, remember that I am in the battle with you. Remember that I’m twenty-nine and have never kissed a guy.

I’m saving it girl and I challenge you to do the same.

Will you join me in this fight for purity?
Will you choose to fight for God’s design for love, marriage and sex?

bethany smiling

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  • Red

    Just stumbled across your site! A friend showed it to me.

    I’m in a similar boat to you. Similar age. A little different, in that I didn’t save my first kiss.

    I think temptation is greater when you’re older, due to the fact that you’re older. I would say that fear is the biggest obstacle. Fear that I won’t meet someone, or even I was afraid that I would physically “shut down” or something. Thankfully, I’m over that fear.

    I had my first kiss when I was 26, because I felt like that was a good time to be kissed. It was just a stranger. My fear was that I was creepy for not having been kissed before. Now, I don’t think it matters. Nobody cares. If they do, they’ll care about me being a virgin before they care about that, and screw them anyway.

    I kissed a few guys for a little while, to kind of make up for feeling lonely. The problem is, I get kind of depressed after I kiss someone, so I just stopped doing that. Maybe I will again, but meh. It’s like drinking alcohol and getting a hangover. I think more about the hangover later than the enjoyment in the moment, so I don’t do it.

    I also don’t want to make a habit of kissing a lot of people or “dating” a lot of boys, etc., because I did have a boyfriend cheat, and I couldn’t do that again. I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I wouldn’t trust the guy I was married to. I try to protect my expectations, and that’s why I took that as a learning experience to vet guys really heavily before getting emotionally involved or forming expectations.

    Another side to this, is all that I’ve had to sacrifice throughout my lifetime to preserve myself and my values. This is the part that makes me really sad. I could have had everything I wanted if I would have played the game. Instead, I’m not doing as well in life, and other girls who didn’t care are doing better. On top of that, there’s not really anyone on the horizon, and like you, I wanted to meet someone in my earlier twenties anyway.

    Really bugs me how the cult of careerism and everyone sleeping around got in the way of something that could have been easy.

    Anyhow, I have a lot of respect for you. I’m probably going to do a lot of commenting, so hopefully other people get on here and join me. Hopefully there are actually other girls in the same boat and we aren’t alone!


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