conference conference


Where Do You Find Your Identity as a Woman?

By: Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal


As girls, we often look around and compare ourselves to what other girls look like. We take note of what Hollywood is telling us about true love. We take note of what the popular girls are like.

Then, without even realizing it, we create an internal checklist of what we “need” in order to be valuable.

In chapter one of our book (Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity) we call this problem the “Big Bad Identity Checklist.” Here’s what we’re talking about:

“From the time we were little girls until now, our culture has been feeding us messages of what womanhood is all about. We each took note of what sounded good to us. We internalized a running identity checklist.

Oh, that’s what womanhood is about? Got it. Check. Oh, I’m supposed to be that skinny? Got it. Check. Oh, I’m supposed to have a successful career? Got it. Check. Oh, I’m supposed to get married when I’m young . . . older . . . never? Um, got it. Check. I think.

From the first moment a woman questions her identity, she begins wondering about her womanhood and whether she measures up. Our big bad identity checklist is always growing.”

Whether you realize it or not, you have probably fallen prey to the “big bad identity checklist” too.

More often than not, we end up defining our womanhood according to our own terms, rather than God’s.

As a result of looking to something other than God to define us, we end up on a constant chase…never satisfied. In today’s VLOG we share the sobering story of one beautiful and successful woman who “had it all” but still wasn’t satisfied. If we want something better for our lives, we need a better plan.


Kristen Clark Bethany Baird

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