conference conference


Why “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” Didn’t Ruin Our Lives

By: Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal


Do you remember the popular relationships book from the 90’s called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris? This book has sold over one million copies since its original release, and has always been a controversial book.

However, just more recently, we’ve seen article after article from people saying that this book has totally ruined their lives. One man commented and said, “this book has ruined my marriage and it will never be the same!”

Ruined your life? Ruined your marriage?? Those are bold statements.

Having read the book ourselves over 15 years ago, and not experienced a ruined life as a result, we thought we’d tackle this topic on today’s vlog.

Why do some people claim this book ruined their lives? And why was this book helpful for others (us included)? And more importantly, how do we avoid distaterous outcomes like this in the future?

Check out today’s vlog as we unpack these relevant questions.


Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird of

images images images
sex purity and longings banner
Radical Purity

5 Responses to Why “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” Didn’t Ruin Our Lives

  1. Katie says:

    Love it! Thank you so much! Good reminders to filter everything through the Bible.
    I love your videos. I look forward to them every Wednesday!

  2. M. Victoria says:

    This is my favorite book on dating! Love it! 🙂

  3. Wow, great video! I remember reading that book (I think I’ve read it several times actually) and I’ve loved the wisdom and advice it gives. I like how you say that everything needs to be filtered through the Bible. So true! Thanks for that video!

  4. Cappy says:

    I understand how it may not have affected you, but the purity culture movement is extremely damaging. I saw an article here about being saddened that the guy someone liked wasn’t a virgin. This person described it as a punch to the gut, and something that required extensive amounts of prayer.

    Now imagine if they had been just as upset, but through being upset they saw themselves as a failure? This is what the book and the culture does. If someone messes up sexually, then for the rest of their lives they’ll pay for it. So why not just keep going and screw up more?

    Waiting for marriage is great. Finding someone with our values is great. But putting such an unhealthy emphasis on purity is dangerous.

  5. Joy says:

    Hello! What are your thoughts on Josh Harris’s recent comments on his book along with his failed marriage and turning away from the faith? It has made quite the waves in evangelical circles.

e-book img

Sign up to receive our blog posts via e-mail and get a copy of our free e-book:
Reaching Beyond Myself
30 Day Devotional

Privacy guarantee: We will never share your e-mail address with anyone else