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Why I’m Glad I’m Not Cinderella

By: Guest Blogger

The string lights in the trees shone brightly on that warm October evening as I eyed the young couples, twirling around and swaying elegantly on the grass. I felt like a character in a romance novel as I listened to the live band play and observed the guys and girls talking and dancing.

Meanwhile, I stood on the sidewalk beside my sister and a friend. I watched intently. I couldn’t help but ask myself when it would be my turn to dance.

When will someone ask me?

Will a guy ever be brave enough?

I couldn’t help but wonder when a guy would even bother to notice me.

Would I live the rest of my life without male attention? To be honest, I have never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. Guys don’t try to flirt with me or use cheesy pickup lines to get my attention. They rarely talk to me, unless it is for a class project or if they are already in a conversation with my friends.

If my life was a movie, I would definitely have had a boyfriend by now. In fact, I would’ve had one when I was thirteen. We would have dated through high school, and we would be attending the same college. He would be hinting at the idea of marriage, and I would be browsing the Internet constantly for wedding ideas. We would be the happiest couple with the most laughter and the sweetest memories.

And we would live happily ever after.

There would be no loneliness, no waiting, and no doubting myself. There would be no more daydreaming about my first date or questioning when my prince would come. There would only be candlelight dinners, walks along the beach, and moonlit dances.

I would never have to stare at the cute guy sitting in front of me in class and wonder if he’d ever get the nerve to ask me out. I would never have to look at another beautiful wedding invitation and ponder when I would get to send mine. I would never have to listen to my friends talk about different guys and ask myself when a guy would want to hang out with me.

All these hypothetical circumstances are fun to think about, but it just leads to discontentment.

Nobody’s life is like a perfect fairytale, and Hollywood always looks better than reality. I know that God could make all of our Cinderella dreams come true if He wanted to. After all, He is powerful enough and strong enough.

But God isn’t in the business of producing fairytales; He’s in the business of producing Christlike hearts — hearts that are dependent on Him. Getting a perfect fairytale life wouldn’t draw us closer to Him. It wouldn’t cause us to seek Him more or love others more deeply. It would just bring happiness — which is a temporary and shallow goal to have.

Cinderella didn’t have to wait very long for Prince Charming to find her after they met at the ball, but she only had temporary happiness. Sure, she got the beautiful castle, the glass slippers, and the ball gown.

But in reality, no one lives like Cinderella. Let’s not be fooled into thinking they do.

We, as single women desiring marriage, shouldn’t expect to marry a perfect husband someday, have a perfect wedding, and live happily ever after. Rather, we should learn to rely on God—His timing, His plan, and His purpose for us. Finding romantic happiness shouldn’t be our goal.

Christ came to give us abundant life — not momentary happiness or Hollywood fantasies. Abundant life is so much deeper, greater, and more meaningful than the life Cinderella had.

As Jesus said, “…I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10 ESV).

Honestly, I don’t know when it will be “my turn” to get married or even have a boyfriend.

It may be five or ten years away. It’s certainly difficult to be patient as I wait, but I have to remember that patience comes from a heart that deeply trusts in God. It’s not wrong to read fairytales, but it is crucial to remember that the perfect lives presented in these books and movies are unrealistic.

Waiting is a difficult part of life, but if we learn to trust God as we wait, we can learn to have the abundant life Christ came to give us. Right now. Right here. Even without a glass slipper.

What do you think?

  • In what ways has the fairytale narrative shaped your view of love and marriage? Share with me below!

AUTHOR: Grace M. is a college student, a writer, and a blogger. She enjoys spending time with her family, chatting with friends, and eating sour gummy worms. She writes about the Christian life at Tizzie’s Tidbits.

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23 Responses to Why I’m Glad I’m Not Cinderella

  1. Chelsea Ejimakor says:

    Nice post. Beautiful

  2. Grace says:

    Thanks so much, Chelsea. You’re right–relationships can’t form and develop in a day. Thank you for reading!

  3. Sea Star says:

    Nice post, Grace! I definitely have been there in the “Will anyone ever notice me?!” phase . . . for a long time. Then last year, out of nowhere, I started getting all kinds of the wrong kind of attention (from rather unchristian guys) and the thoughts turned into “No more boys, thank you! I am quite happy where God has me, please go away now,” lol.

    You’re take on the fairytale façade is interesting, and definitely one I’ve heard before. But I’ve also heard a Christian case for fairy tales that has shaped my narrative even more. It sees fairy tales in the realm of narratives like Arthurian legend, heroes of old, and continued in the likes of tales such as The Chronicles of Narnia or The Lord of the Rings.

    Cinderella teaches the virtue of humility, the greatness of showing love to those who are mean to you. Beauty turns a Beast into a man by the sheer power of loving the unlovable. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty get rescued by their Prince Charmings, who sweep them out of their curse and into a heavenly happily ever after. I’ve heard Christians (including greats like C. S. Lewis and G. K. Chesterton) talk about these stories as metaphors for Christian realities – love those who hate you, God’s transforming love and grace that turns us sinners into saints, and even Christ’s rescue of His bride – the Church – out of the bondage of sin and into eternity with Him!

    So I think I view fairy tales more as metaphors like that. And marriage, we know, is a metaphor itself for the grandness of Christ’s relationship to His Church. So in that sense, fairy tales have been a positive and whimsical influence on me as I think about God’s love for us and the mystery of marriage. 🙂

    • Grace says:

      Fictional stories, including fairytales, could definitely be used to compare to the factual account of Christ and His sacrifice for us on the Christ. I appreciate you taking the time to comment!

  4. Shanae B says:

    Thanks for this good post! The fairy tales were envinted to teach children good virtues and help them fall asleep and not have nightmares, it’s extremely dumb when people believe them to be beyond just that. Hollywood has really skrewed up people’s views of love and happiness. It’s very hard if the end of this particular waiting is just some years down the road or not at all. Thankfully God helps us through that! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Rita says:

    Thanks for your mature post. After many tears shed, and a bit of experience, you will finally arrive at the conclusion that God, The Almighty, does just what He wants of our lives. Like destroying our false image of Him as a puppet for example; or just taking away our dreams for fuillfilling our hearts of other things. Never thought that you could remain single for His glory? GbY

    • Grace says:

      Good to know, Rita! Singleness is a hard journey but rewarding if we wait. God has much more to offer than happiness–He offers satisfaction in Him. Thanks for reading, Rita!

  6. Ann says:

    You guys do great blog posts/videos. I have my own struggles with trying to live Godly/pure in this evil world (me & my family are also born again christian’s). My sister told me to pray and ask Jesus to help me overcome my crazy emotions (I do pray, I just never thought to pray about that for some reason). And i found that prayer always helps me to get through the bombardment of today’s sexual culture.
    1 Peter 5:7
    “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”
    I really appreciate Your guys’ encouragement to stand strong.
    Kristen- You & Zack Are such an inspiration to Me and my sister, you guys are such a cute/Godly couple. you got a good one Kristen.
    Bethany- love you girl! You really are such an encouragement to me with my emotional struggles.
    Congrats on your marriage to David. I”M soooo happy for you.

    love you guys!!

    PS. it would be great if you guys did a video/blog post on how to be saved/born again through Jesus, so as to reach people who find your site but might not be truly saved:)

  7. Ann says:

    Sorry, I didn’t realize that this post was by a guest blogger until I re-read it.
    Wonderful post Grace, I hear ya. Knowing/trusting in God is the best thing you can do. 🙂

  8. Lauren says:

    This post is so encouraging and thought-provoking! I’m in the exact same place as a college-aged girl – I’ve never been on a date, had a boyfriend, or even had a guy tell me he liked me. It’s easy to get discouraged, but focusing on the Lord really is so much better. Thanks for writing this, Grace! I really needed this reminder today.

  9. Ruth says:

    Great post! I have never been on a date, had a boyfriend, or had a guy tell me he likes me either. And I am so glad! In the end, we should each only have one husband (unless he dies or something), and I would rather not have a bunch of boyfriends and broken hearts before him. Also, I think it is definitely important that our eyes are not on getting a man. I look at the girls my age who are chasing after boys and would hate to be in their shoes. A husband is a blessing from God, but we need to make sure we are desiring God far above His blessings. His blessings are nice, but only God truly fulfills.

  10. Areli says:

    Thank you so much for this encouraging post Grace!

  11. Ahna Claire says:

    I love this article! In the past year I’ve been single and it has been so freeing for me. I can see how God uses me in that process. I was single all through college and then met a guy then we broke up. My heart was crushed, but this artcile has helped me so much!

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