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Why Modern Girls Should Embrace the Lost Art of Homemaking

By: Kristen Clark

Every time I walked into this particular house, I instantly felt swallowed alive by the chaos and mess. Dirty dishes all over the kitchen, laundry piled on the furniture, toys all over the floor, and the TV blaring. This home had no semblance of order, cleanliness or peace.

It was chaos.

Every time I visited my friend’s home, I left feeling more chaotic and unsettled than when I arrived (and btw, to all of my current friends who may read this, this is not your house. This happened many years ago. *wink*).

In our upcoming book, I refer to this problem as the drive-thru kitchen and hotel bedroom lifestyle.

We live life constantly on the go, giving little priority to nurturing home life.

The sad reality is, we do live in a modern day and age where homemaking is close to last on the list for many Christian women. As a result, I strongly believe we’re missing out on huge opportunities.

Not because we should all have Pinterest perfect homes, but because the home should be one of our biggest assets for ministry and spreading the gospel.  

The more I’ve studied God’s Word, the more convinced I’ve become about the importance of managing my home well.

The more my eyes have been opened to in-home ministry opportunities, the more I’ve desired to make my home a place of order and peace.

I’ll be the first to confess though, that homemaking isn’t easy. I have to fight hard to be intentional about keeping things in order. And the truth is, if I didn’t have a bigger motivation for cleaning and doing laundry, I just might not do it.

However, I have seen God use my home as a place of blessing, ministry, rest and peace for so many, that I am motivated to keep working hard.

I have discovered that homemaking isn’t a “thing of the past” to God, but a highly important job that helps aid in ministering the gospel to everyone who walks through our doors. Which is why we, as women, are praised and encouraged to do this in Scripture (Proverbs 31:27, Titus 2:4).

Here are 4 reasons why we, as modern Christian girls, should embrace the lost art of homemaking.

1. Influence for the Gospel

We see the “home” all throughout Scripture as a primary setting where gospel work took place. The early church grew and thrived as a result of families opening up their homes. The same is still true today.

I read an amazing story about an unsaved, liberal, and lesbian woman who despised the church. However, a local Christian family invited her into their home for dinner, and over the course of time (and many dinners) she ended up becoming a Christian. This woman wanted nothing to do with church, but was willing to enter someone’s home and share a meal.

The home is the perfect place for reaching the lost by inviting them into your life and showing love within your home (Heb. 13:2).

2. Hospitality is Commanded

This was a tough one to swallow when I first discovered this. Hospitality isn’t recommended in Scripture – it’s commanded (many times). 1 Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” Why is this so important to God? Because hospitality is the heartbeat for evangelism and ministry.

Showing hospitality means opening up your home to anyone and everyone in need.

Out of town guests, missionaries needing a place to rest, neighbors coming over for dinner, etc. If your house is constantly in a chaotic and messy state, how willing will you be to show hospitality? And if you are willing, what kind of testimony does your house display to the unsaved?

3. Impact on the Community

The early Christian church (Acts) thrived as a result of believers opening up their homes to one another. Meetings, secret gatherings, and church services were all held within the four walls of someone’s home. And look at the impact that the early church has had on history?

The home is a place like none other. It’s different than the gym, office, grocery store, or church building.

It’s a place we can encourage relationships to grow deeper and conversations to thrive.

Throughout history, the home has been the launching pad for huge, world-changing movements. If you want to have a huge impact on your community, start by inviting them into your home and show them Christ’s love through hospitality. You never know what could happen.

4. Order and Peace in a Chaotic World

What is the number one thing most people long for in this life? Peace. Peace from the pain, personal struggles, relational issues, past hurts, financial burdens, etc. Most people crave peace.

In a world that is filled with so much chaos, instability, and LACK of peace, the home is the perfect place to experience peace.

Imagine how inviting and intriguing it would be for a person with a chaotic life to come into your home and experience order, cleanliness, peace, and a home-cooked meal? Imagine how blessed and encouraged people would leave your home feeling? Imagine how inviting the gospel would seem in an environment like that?

Girls – hear me out. Hospitality and homemaking aren’t things of the past.

They’re relevant and desperately needed practices in today’s broken society. I know most of you don’t have your own homes yet, but I pray this post encourages you to see how valuable and needed godly homemaking is in this modern day.

I pray you will plan your future with homemaking and hospitality as a priority on your list of “accomplishments.” I pray you will join me in embracing the lost art of homemaking…not for our own sakes, but for the sake of advancing the gospel.

Let’s chat more about this topic!

  • If you had to be honest right now – do you place value on the idea of homemaking and hospitality?
  • Which of the 4 areas I shared above stood out to you the most? Why?
  • Share some ideas with me below on how you can show hospitality right now, wherever you’re living?

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43 Responses to Why Modern Girls Should Embrace the Lost Art of Homemaking

  1. guest says:

    Wow… I really like your article! As we speak, my dorm room is a crazy mess! I totally agree however that most of it is because I am not around very much. I basically go back to my dorm to sleep, and sometimes to do some homework but if I do that I need to get homework done, and the room begins to look like I am just going in and throwing things around. Thank you so much for this post!! I appreciate your opinion!

  2. This is SO true, and I had not even thought about it like this!!

  3. Jenna Regan says:

    I love hospitality. I still live at home and it is a revolving door…friends sit at our farmhouse kitchen table and talk, laugh and cry for hours. It’s a place where we all gather to talk with my mom. Someday when I have my own home I can’t wait to host Erev Shabbat dinners…hospitality is what I most look forward to in having a home of my own. Thank you for sharing about how important and relevant this purpose and mission is for us today!

    • christine says:

      I feel the same way about everything you said and look forward to many Erev Shabbat dinners in my future home as well (still at home with parents but someday, when I get my own house with my own family). And just hosting and beining a peaceful place for anyone who may need it/ however God chooses to use it. Plus, homemaking/hospitality is such a fun thing to learn and practice when you are doing it to please the Lord as the ultimate goal.

      • Jenna Regan says:

        Thanks for sharing Christine! May you shine brightly in this season that HaShem has you in and in due time may He grant you a home of your own where Shabbat will be celebrated and observed with others 🙂 Shalom!

        • christine says:

          Thank you for the encouraging words! And the same for you, in His timing, may He bless you with a home of your own filled with His peace and blessings. 🙂 So exciting! Shalom!

  4. thehappygirl says:

    Great article! Homemaking truly is a lost art in today’s age. I’m currently praying for/about a spouse, and am super excited to be able to minister to my own family (and our friends) through Godly homemaking in the future. My mom has been a great example to me and I hope to follow in her footsteps.

  5. Olivia W. says:

    So, do you think that home-making would apply to even girls who are single? Also, what are your opinions on singleness? I know this doesn’t happen very often, but do you think that it’s ok for girls to decide to live a single life?

    • Amaris Lancaster says:

      Hey Olivia, even as a single girl I think it’s important for you to have a clean, comfortable, happy, peaceful home. I have grown up with the view that you should always be ready to have guests as you never know if God will use you to bless someone by being able to invite them into your house (even as a spur of the moment thing) Hebrews 13:2
      Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
      Even as a single you can have an open home, it will probably be less open than a family or couple’s house because of some restrictions you will have as a single (e.g. most singles have a smaller home, and as a single girl it’s not the best idea to have guys over all the time), but as a single girl you have the ability to reach other young girls, and God can use your home to do it.

      As christian girls living for God, we put our lives into God’s hands. In that way we give our decisions to God as well. We have to leave the decision whether we will be single or not up to God, After all He knows what He’s doing (Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.) He has a beautiful story and testimony planned for us. It is now our job to patiently wait and serve God in any way we can while we’re still single (However long that will be). Sometimes God sends ‘Mr Right’ sometimes not. I know a lady in her 30’s, still single and serving God on the mission field. There is nothing wrong with being a single christian girl, just trust God and let Him lead in His plan for you. Hope that made sense, and was an encouragement. 🙂

      • Olivia W. says:

        Thanks! I’m not old enough to be married just yet anyway, but my dreams are a little bit different than most Christian girls. I don’t want to get married and I don’t want to have kids, so I was interested in others’ opinions on this topic. I guess I should keep an open mind though, because trusting God’s plans applies to every Christian, no matter what the circumstances. 🙂

        • Amaris Lancaster says:

          You are totally right, the other day, and when I say ‘other day’ I probs mean eons ago ;P :D, Anyways… I was thinking about this, because I know other girls that didn’t want to get married, and I realised something, If I purposely avoided getting married and God had someone planned for me, How much would they be missing out if I decided not to get married? My family is pretty messed up, so when I see that I can empathise with those who don’t want to get married, but in the end it should all be up to God and I’m now even more determined not let mistakes my parents have made turn me away from God’s plan. These are the sneaky things the devil will culture in our live so that we miss out on the blessings God wants to put in our lives.

        • Violet says:

          Hey Olivia, don’t worry about “missing out” on anything by staying single! By following that path, you’re opening yourself up to so many wonderful and amazing opportunities. God wants you to be happy and follow the life you choose for yourself; He gave us free will for a reason, right? Don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine 🙂

  6. Olivia Hopper says:

    I love this article and completely agree. I wish every girl heard this view. Such amazing perspective shared above! Thank you again for wonderful writing and informing us all!!

  7. Ana Castro Yanez says:

    In my family keeping the house in order is a huge deal. For my parents (who don’t walk with the Lord) keeping the house clean is super important.

  8. Cheyenne says:

    Love this! I am a pastor’s daughter. I’m still living with my parents now, but I am soon to be married to a wonderful man in our church (who is also a preacher)! Growing up, when we would have revival meetings at our church, my family has almost always invited the guest Preacher or evangelist and his family to have supper at our house. We enjoy the more laid back and comfortable setting that we have in our home. It just seems easier to get to know the family that way, but until the last meeting we had I honestly didn’t think too much of it. It was just something we had always done. When we told the evangelist that the plan was to have supper at our house every night of the week he and his family were all so thankful for that!! They said being on the road a lot they rarely get a nice home cooked meal, and that in the 9 years of their ministry they had probably only ever been in the home of about 4-5 preachers!! I understand that everyone’s ability to minister is different, but I was honestly shocked at that! You never know how the smallest thing you do (like inviting someone over for supper) will bless another person!!

  9. Amaris Lancaster says:

    I so totally agree with this post! I come from two very different household environments, and you can see the difference.

  10. Ina Yefimov says:

    I never thought that it was so important to keep a neat, orderly house. Thank you so much for sharing this! I had better try harder to keep my room clean, because I’m sure it will be even harder to keep a house clean.

  11. Yamico Tembo says:

    indeed homemaking is really good. i have learnt so much thank you so much 🙂

  12. Melissa VDA says:

    Wonderful post Kristen! I am not married yet and still live at home, but this is one of the things I am really looking forward to is having my own home to keep neat and tidy (I am a perfectionist) and to bless others with.

  13. Angel Unrau says:

    Great article, sound Biblical truth. I am in a full time ministry position. My husband and I have shared custody of his son. We have people in our home fairly often, and, in spite of both of us working 40 plus hours a week, keeping after two dogs, running to sporting events with our son, attending sometimes up to three evening church meetings a week, and completing renovations on our turn-of-the-century home, we manage to keep it relatively clean and neat. As I noticed the majority of the comments so far have been from single women or those living at home still, I wonder what advice you’d give to single moms who have to work full-time (my mom was there), or even couples that are both working and raising kids full time. How might they find opportunities to be hospitable and advance the kingdom without burning out, neglecting family time or their personal walk with Jesus? I saw it come to that for my mom. Our home was never as neat as what I keep mine now, but she was always hospitable. How would you suggest people in these circumstances find balance? I struggle with keeping that in check myself, and, even with my busy schedule, I don’t have half the struggles and challenges of others.

  14. Christina Hastings says:

    I really, really love this post! Thank you for the encouragement and the big picture perspective on hospitality and in turn homemaking!

  15. Sarah A. says:

    I know it’s not what it was necessarily about, but this article spoke to me about how I should be willing and happy to help my mom with stuff like laundry, dishes, and cooking (some of my chores) because she’s really busy and it helps to bless her and my dad.

  16. Halee Westbrook says:

    VERY cool topic for ya’ll to dive into!

  17. Ciara He says:

    I grew up in a very chaotic home, and scoffed whenever people expressed such high value in the home life. Because mine was so destructive, I didn’t see very much merit in it. Ironically, many of the families around me were devout Christians and strived to make the family a safe place of rest. With posters tacked on the walls with such epithets as “Family is Forever”, I would visit my friends house and laugh secretly at what I thought were cheesy sentiments. In reality, I was jealous. Why couldn’t we switch places? Why can’t I come home to this? The jealousy grew so painful that I cut ties with these friends because everytime I saw their parents at events caring for them I would become so depressed.

    The reason many people devalue families today isn’t only because of ungodly principles and societal “norms”. It’s because so many people grow up in broken homes and when us Christians talk about the home as a place of peace, or the sanctity of family– these people have no idea why people value these things much. Their only experience with family and the home is that of misery and discontent, fighting and turmoil. Careers, parties, clubs, bars– they chase these things because they view anything as better than their chaotic upbringing. Family brings painful memories to mind, so they devalue it.

    The reason the liberal girl in your story converted to Christianity, I’ll bet, is because like me, she finally experienced what being in a happy, loving, Christian home was like. After that experience, for me, no career, or anything else was more fulfilling to me than having a family, and being a Christian.

    Thank you so much for writing this piece. Because our culture views homemaking as tedious chores so often, we forget that home is a place of peace, and a source of strength for women to share the Gospel.

    I am about to graduate with an education degree, but I’ve decided to become a SAHM at least for my kid’s most formative years so I can devote more time to give them the home I was so jealous of. I plan to use my degree to run a home tutoring/educational business or tutor/teach online. This way I can bring people to my home to help them get to know Jesus.

    When I am frustrated with others who devalue the home, I have to remember not to judge them as I was once like that too.

    • Brianne says:

      I also got saved after experiencing real Christian love and hospitality, both inside and outside the home. I’m 17, still living in an extremely chaotic home, and still getting jealous of my Christian friends’ families, although I grow more and more content as my faith gets stronger. This is extremely true, spot on.

    • Amy Swenson says:

      You. Said. It.

      Amen, amen.

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  19. Lorrayya Williams says:

    I do place a value on homemaking. I actually don’t totally hate it. I enjoy the hospitality part of it. I do think homemaking is the job of the family as whole. I grew up in a household on any given night my dad would could dinner, my brother and I would clean the kitchen, and my mom would come home from work. We are chipped in in taking care of the house as a family. I think that is good, because I do my own laundry (everyone in my house does) and I know how to cook (everyone cooks), and the basics of taking care of a house. It will definitely help me when I have my own family and my future husband (don’t know who he is yet) and I can teach our children how to keep house and how important it is.

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  22. Joanna says:

    Thanks Kristen!! I didn’t really how you can use hospitality for evangelism!

  23. Violet says:

    Listen, guys. Please. In a world where homemaking is expected for women whether they have other jobs or not, articles like this aren’t only redundant, they’re harmful. Homemaking is a fantastic career for a person to aspire towards, and painting it as an expectation demeans that.

    • Irina says:

      I guess it depends what you define as homemaking…because order and cleanliness is an expectation that should apply across the board to both men and women (as is managing your home well or whatever space you inhabit.) If that’s the definition of homemaking then there’s nothing demeaning about pointing out its necessity.

  24. Emily Nielsen Jones says:

    This is such a dinosaur of a mindset that is not healthy or godly, just backwards and repressive. “Homemaking” is a good part of everyone’s life but is not a uniform “role” that captures all of what womanhood is about. And to suggest that this is what girls should be socialized in is simply archaic. Please update your views.

  25. Hannah B says:

    Thank you Kristen for this article, it is very good. And to all young ladies with negative comments please look a little deeper. Homemaking is not oppressive , enslaving. It is freeing, and beautiful.

  26. Hanna Johnson says:

    A clean and organized home also means a clear mind and soul. It is a necessity and a healthy habbit. The only thing I don’t agree is about frequent gatherings inside of the home. These are, in my familly, reserved for special occassions (birthdays, aniversaries, holidays, graduations… thankfully, there are enough of them). Daily coffee drinking with neighbors (which many people in our area do) usually ends up in gossip, rather than meaningful conversations.
    Quality over quantity 🙂

  27. theburritohasmyheart says:

    I find this article extremely saddening that you would be so rude about someones home! Some people don’t have as much free time as you do, it doesn’t mean that the house is ‘chaos’. I am really hurt you would say this. My sister has three boys and a busy schedule and her house isn’t always clean, but that doesn’t matter. This is an extremely hurtful article

    • Jords says:

      I don’t think that she is ripping on the people that she is sharing a story about (anonymously, at that). She is not condemning anyone with a messy home. It’s simply saying that a home can be a great place for ministry, and if a home isn’t taken care of well, it can be hard to use that purpose.

  28. Classical Music Tweets says:

    Why are you only addressing girls? Why are they the only ones who have to cook, clean, maintain hospitality, and make a home perfect? I gather from this article (especially under number four), that you expect women to prepare meals for their husbands when they get home from work. Do you even realize how many burdens your narrow attitude places on women? I assume you also expect them to take care of the children. If you want less chaos (as you mentioned), then men and women should both contribute to cooking and cleaning. I assume your beliefs are that women are the homemakers while men are the breadwinners.

  29. Loved says:

    So so true! Wonderful post!

  30. anon says:

    You talk a big game about homemaking considering you’re an active blogger and speaker who travels all the time. You want women to be housewives and reject any desire for a career, yet you yourselves have a career. Why is it that you only call on women to be homemakers? You follow this brainwashed, bigoted, and painfully outdated version of Christianity so dutifully it’s actually sickening.

  31. G says:

    You talk about serving others and required opening your home and heart to those in need, yet I doubt you’re pro immigration and helping in starving people fleeing violence because they’re illegal. I hope I’m wrong but I doubt it since you shame liberal women. Also, what are your thoughts on men being homemakers and taking care of the home.

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