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Why Modern Girls Should Champion the Role of Motherhood

By: Kristen Clark

What if you had to pay your mom $40 every time you spent time with her? That’d be crazy right? Well…not if you live in New York City.

Apparently having a mom to talk to is worth a lot more than most of us realize. In fact, a lady named Nina decided to start a business based on that idea.

Nina is in her 60’s, lives in NYC, and talks to a lot of young people who claim they don’t have good mother figures. Apparently they want an older, wiser woman to talk to, but don’t know who to turn to.

So, Nina decided to become a professional mom.

For $40 an hour, you can hire Nina to be your stand-in mom. An article from The Guardian pointed out that “she’ll listen to you talk about your problems. Make some soup. Watch a movie with you!”

One client who used her services said, “She made me toast. It was nice. She made me a cup of tea. It was also nice. We talked at length about some issues I’m facing.”

Moms are obviously extremely valuable.

We live in a modern society that doesn’t place a lot of value on motherhood. In fact, our culture rarely encourages young women toward the career path of being a full-time mom.

However, this article clearly proves the need for it. If someone is willing to pay $40 an hour for a “mom,” that goes to show how invaluable the role of motherhood really is.

As we say in our book, Girl Defined, “One of the most under valued, under pursued, and under-recognized career tracks today is becoming a wife and mother. Ask any college-age Christian girl today about her future plans, and rarely will she mention marriage and family. Why? Because those things aren’t valued in our society anymore. They’re not viewed as a successful plan. As a result, many young women are ashamed to verbally express their desire for them, much less plan for them.”

In a culture that doesn’t present motherhood as a valid career choice, isn’t it ironic that “mothering” is now becoming a full-time professional option?

As young women, we are pressured by our culture to pursue something “big” with our lives.

Something that pays money. Something that looks successful on paper. We’re fed the message that working in the marketplace contributes more to society than anything else.

Oddly enough though, the article from above proves the opposite. Kids need moms. Teenagers need moms. Young adults need moms. The role of a mom is an invaluable contribution to society…especially to the next generation.

As we say in Girl Defined, “In God’s eyes, desiring to be a wife [and mom] isn’t a shameful thing but, rather, a highly honorable goal. God loves children and motherhood. He places enormous value and respect on the home (Titus 2:4–5). God created us, as women, with a special ability to nurture relationships, produce life, and help others. Marriage, motherhood, and homemaking may be old-fashioned in some people’s eyes, but they’re honorable in God’s eyes (Ps. 127:3–5; Prov. 18:22; 31:10–31).”

From the beginning of time, God has always valued motherhood and homemaking.

In a culture where families are growing increasingly dysfunctional and broken, full-time moms are desperately needed. Nurturing homes are needed. New York City can attest to that.

I pray we, as Christian girls, will see the value and worth that intentional motherhood and homemaking provides to society. In God’s eye, motherhood is a noble and worthy aspiration to have.

However — to be clear — our identity and worth is not tied up in our marital status or whether we ever become moms; our identity is found in Christ alone.

Personally, God hasn’t given me children of my own yet, but I am still striving to be the biggest cheerleader for these beautiful, God-ordained roles. 

“If God values something, then we should too. If God calls something a blessing, then we should too. We should never be ashamed or embarrassed to love what God loves.”

And the next time you take your own mom for granted, just keep in mind how much she’s worth. Then thank her for not charging you $40 an hour.

  • Do you value motherhood as being just as valuable and productive as a career in the marketplace? Why or why not?
  • Does your heart champion the role of motherhood as much as God does?

To learn more about God’s incredible design for your life as a woman, I encourage you to grab a copy of our book, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity.

Photo credit

Woman and baby

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  • Great article! I heard about the professional New York mom a few months ago. Goes to show that young adults still need their parent’s support and input.
    I think the reason a lot of girls don’t mention marriage and family when asked about their future plans is because it is completely out of their control. I can decide to go to college and start working, but I can’t make a great Christian guy fall in love with me and then marry me. And while I’m in the process of waiting, I want to be busy. When I hear one of my peers say that their only plans for the future are to get married and have children, it makes me a little bit nervous for them. What if that never happens? Did you make good use of your time in the meanwhile?
    Not trying to sound critical, this is just why I don’t always mention marriage and family when someone asks me about my future plans. 🙂

    • Karen Michel

      Yeah I totally get what you’re saying. A few years ago, if you would have asked me my plans for my future, I would have included marriage and children, but I was told that, like you said, those things are out of my control. I was told that it shouldn’t be my goal in life and that I should focus on growing in my relationship with God and being a good steward of my education and He will take care of that part of my life. To be honest it did make me a little sad. I want more than any career or worldly success to be a wife and mother, but that can also become an idol, which is another reason why I was told not to focus on marriage and motherhood so much. I don’t know what the ‘right’ way of going about this is, but I have found that surrendering it all to God gives me peace. If it is His will, He will make it happen, if not, He will give me grace to live a life that glorifies Him without it.

  • Hannah B

    wow this is a really good article Kristen.

  • Bibical Womanhood

    Thank you so much for this article! It was a pleasant surprise to find a Wonderful New Girl Defined blog in my Email! I cant tell you how much I Appreciate My Mom. I Realize now while I read this and write this, I may not show my Mom enough how much I’m thankful for her. I Love my Mom, Year ago I really didn’t like being around my mom. Since Ive turned to Christ Its been a ton better with everything though!. Even last night I need to show my Mom how Thankful I am for her. This Blog really makes you Realize how Valued Motherhood and being a Wife is, weather people want to admit it or not. Look at those girls hiring a Mom! Thank you girls for this post! <3

  • To answer the first question:
    Yes! Absolutely. As a liberal Christian feminist, I treasure motherhood. We made serious financial sacrifices to ensure that one of us was home to care for our boys until they were in middle school. Things are a lot easier financially now that we’re both working, but it was well worth it. Our boys are 17 and 14, both strong, confident, healthy and pretty responsible, with good ethics, integrity, and straight A’s in school. To me, feminism means that motherhood is as valued as CEO of multinational corporation or firefighter, or whatever. My mom was fantastic, and I still miss her (she died in 2013). I still often have sad moments where I think, “I can’t wait to call my mom about … oh, no, I can’t.” Motherhood will never be out of style – the human need for good motherhood is timeless.

    I have no idea how to answer the second question, except that I aspire to it.

  • Annie

    but what’s wrong with wanting to be something professional, like a doctor or lawyer? I get what yo are saying, we need to put more value in mom but home keeping shouldn’t be your main goal in life

    • Rachel

      Same here. In top of that, raising kids can be a financial burden, having a profession will give them better oportunities and a better lifestyle.

      • Brit

        The economy today is trash so really many don’t have an option sadly.

        • Rachel

          Imagine the scenario here in my country. Venezuela. Women here just cannot stay at home anymore, they don’t have anymore options than working. Even when education and acces to health is free, money just doesn’t cover our needs. Things get more expensive each day. Mothers send their babys to childcare so they can work. Others are leaving the country in hopes of getting paid with dollars to help their families. Staying at home is not an option anymore, even for mothers.

    • Shanae B

      What’s wrong is when a career is prioritized and to believe it’s wrong for any woman to be or want to be a wife and mother.

    • Anonymous

      Annie, you said, “Home keeping shouldn’t be your main goal in life”. But why not? Why can’t it? Biblically thats all women are supposed to do, but society and the world has instilled a feminist idea into every women’s mind nowadays to pursue something else. Society will tell us that being a wife and mother is old fashioned and boring and that women can do so much more, but the Bible tells us other wise, God values true biblical women who are sincerely raising children who are going to serve him. Just cause your a home keeper doesn’t mean your not doing anything or not serving The Lord! Being a mom isn’t honestly one of the hardest jobs in the world! I thought I’d just share my opinion, because being a Home keeper isn’t a lazy thing, it’s God honoring 🙂

      • Brit

        A Biblical life goal would be to worship and glorify Jesus regardless if your a mom, a career girl, or stuck alone in a hospital bed for the rest of your life.

        , I don’t remember reading that Mary Magdelane, Mary of Bethany, Esther, Deborah, Anna, on and on being Moms. Moms Are awesome ok? You are right it’s s hard job. But please don’t put your convictions on others because they are yours. I’m a human before I’m a woman. The fact that I can give birth doesn’t mean I have to in order to be valuable to Jesus Christ. He wants worshippers not mothers. The latter is a bonus prize and perhaps a calling for most women. That doesn’t mean all women.

        Some women are barren. They don’t always get a miracle and others will never get a chance to adopt. Motherhood is a gift. A gift to some. Not to all.

      • anon

        I don’t think I could agree with you in all you say. What about those women in the Bible who did more than being a mom and wife? What about Deborah who was a leader or Esther who was a queen? The Bible doesn’t even mention she had children! Mary M. was one of Jesus followers and the Bible doesn’t mention either if she had kids or not, in fact it doesn’t say if she ever got married…
        I’m with Brit. First of all we are human and all of us are called to be worshippers. The Bible doesn’t say God wants mothers. Paul’s advice is to remain single btw…

        Biblical times were a whole different era. Society has changed. Women now have rights. In those times women were forbidden to study, poor PEOPLE couldn’t either. I get that we need to put more value in motherhood as any other career, but, in the same way, being something proffesional has the exact same value. Otherwise, why would God give us talents and so many oportunities if we are not gonna use it?

        I refuse to reject all the sacrificies other women have made to give us the same rights as men. Many of them are still dying because of that! (that girl Malala was shot at 15 bc she was fighting for girl’s rights to education).
        We are able to do both, we can be both. We can be mothers and professionals at the same time. His word says that in Christ we can do anything!

        Our society needs mothers, but it also needs people working for those who need it the most. Stay at home when you can do more seems selfish to me. There are so many things we can do to serve others! There are so many ways we can preach God’s love out of the church! We can share His word on social media, through music and art and even litterature… We can raise a new generation of godly men and women through education, We can make justice to those who need it being a lawyer or a judge. We can help others and save lives being a doctor or a paramedic. We can preach by being a translator or an interpreter. We can show His word to children creating beautiful animated movies. We can learn sign language and take deaf people to Christ. We can be the voice for those who cannot speak aloud. There so much more we can do with our talents an lives!!

        Please don’t limit ourselves. Motherhood is a beautiful gift, but that shouldn’t mean the end of other parts of our lives. I know a lot of mothers who still work in the proffesional field and many of them serve also in church at the same time. Have you heard of Christine DClario? She’s an amazing person, a godly woman who serves God with all her heart through music. Many people have found their way to Christ through her ministry. Her songs are filled with the word of God and the presence of his Spirit. She has translated into Spanish songs such as “on the throne” “let the heaves open” by Kari Jobe and “like you promised” by Amber Brooks. She recently became a mother and that hasn’ stopped her. She is still working for his kingdom… and in her next album aswell!.

        As her and many other women, we are called to serve. Motherhood is not an excuse to hide behind our houses and not doing anything at all. Yes, they are women who work from home, but that’s not the case for all of us. I am not gonna stay in four walls and let my life continue without doing something. I’m gonna use my talents to do all I can to serve God. I refuse to believe motherhood wont let me do more.

        • anon

          there are*

  • Brebis

    Yes and no. Sadly, I disagree. I agree that we should put value in motherhood and not taking it as shameful, but I personally do not strieve for it. Motherhood is a BIG responsibilty, it take A LOT of your time if not all of it. As you say in your article, there are so many young people out there feeling left out by their parents because they are so busy that they can barely spend them with them, or in worst cases, they don’t pay attention to their children at all. Having children means you have to dedicate a lot of time, effort (and money) to them. That’s the way things should be.

    I don’t want to be a mother because of that. I’m just 23 I am young, I am finishing my carrere and there’s a lot of things I want to do with my life. What sense has to go to college, study a lot, spending so much money (in your country, at least, parents need to start saving money since the birth of their children for the sole purpose of education), making so much sacrificies to get a degree and then throwing all of that away? What’s the purpose in getting late to be or not sleeping at all, putting aside your friends and family, even having to cut with your compromises in church and in the end reducing all ot that to a piece of paper hanging on the wall? I can’t see it. I cannnot understand why do all of these efforts and not doing what you studied for because you have to raise children. It doesn’t make any sense. It angers me, tbh. I am not attaking anyone, ok? I just say that I don’t understand why someome would sacrifice so much to get a degree and then doing nothing with that because she’s a mother and doesn’t have time to do what she loves. Why not studying anything at all in the first place? You wouldn’t have to spend a lot of money and time in something you’re not gonna do in the future. I dont want that happeing to me.

    The other thing is that I want to enjoy my young years. I want to study other things, to travel around the world and meet with native speakers of the languages I’m learning, visit those amazing places we see in tv and movies, make friends, grow as a worship dancer, I want to be a translator and a writer, I want to teach ESL to teens and kids and make them love English (our system has made them hate English learning). I want to enjoy the company of my future husband, you now, spending time with him. I want to be able to buy a house or an apartment without getting worried about the bank taking it, I want to buy a car without getting into debts, repay my parents for all the things they’ve made for me… To summarize, I want to live for me. I have personal goals to pursue before having children. I don’t want to be a housewife who has to say farewell to her dreams and her hopes and bury them under ground. That’s not faire. It’s not faire for me and it’s not faire for my parents who has done a lot for me and for my carrere.

    I do believe motherhood is a good thing, but it’s not the time for me. Sadly for us women its’ like a race against time bc biological reasons, so much women feel under pressure when they can’t get pregnant. I don’t now if someday I’ll have children. It’s not my current desire, it is not in my plans. Maybe I’ll change my mind someday, but that day is not now.

    Thank you for sharing this, but I think that a future article about the pros and cons and all what motherhood implies would be better. I think that this article maybe could make women who can’t have children feel a bit bad. I know some couples who still don’t have children, if I’d show them this they probably would feel very bad… It kinda gives me the impression that if you don’t have children you are nothing.

    Anyway, blessings to you girls, your blog is awesome and your articles are always encouraging. Maybe this time I disagree, but I’ll still read you.

  • Cami

    great article! SO TRUE!

  • Jane Almeida

    OOOOhhhhh!!! one look at the photo of this mother and baby is enough to touch me very deeply!

  • Eunice

    Hi,
    I absolutely love your post! I agree with you! I really would love to become a mom and wife right now!!! But I also really enjoy being single right now.
    I’ve now learned (or still learning) not to focus on marriage and motherhood as the main goal for my life. But as my professional life progresses, I fear, that there might come a point in my life, where it might get difficult for me, to quit my professional career in order to pursue the career as a wife and mother. I fear, that I might enjoy my job so much in the future, that I might forget/dislike the job of mom/wife. Any ideas how to stay enthusiastic about biblical motherhood even when pursuing a professional education and career right now? Especially, when marriage might be not at the horizont for many years?

    • Brit

      Do what God wants you to. 🙂

    • Shanae B

      In today’s society it’s hard to go against the flow and not feel like you have to disregard marriage and motherhood. I’m 29 and still single, because that’s what God’s current timing for my life is. I’m self employed and help my family with many things that I wouldn’t be able to married with kids. I hope that one day God will bring those things into my life, but I live for Him and His timing! Staying in the word, prayer, and involvement with other believers (like a small group Bible study) have been the biggest helps in this and other areas! 🙂

  • Eva Maria

    From my personal experience and my surroundings, young people (aged 25 to 30) feel like their parents do not understand them when it comes to professional problems.

    In the time of our parents (I am talking about Europe) you used to get a job straight after high school or uni. Almost nobody was unemployed, the concept of capitalism was heavily mixed with socialism. The jobs were less complicated, there was less uncertainty involved (there were mostly standard procedures). People usually went to pension in the same company where they started their career. There was far less teamwork and more individual work (therefore less place for stress and conflicts)

    That is compared to today’s young people who are lucky to find a job, after many interviews. My parents never had interviews, they just applies and got a job in a hospital and in the public office, respectively, like most people their age.

    In earlier times, you did not have to work before finishing uni (now you have to have multiple internships during your studies and make many connections). It is not just “study and everything will fall into place” as it was. It is far more complicated.

    That is why our parents do not understand our anxiety and depressive episodes and we feel alone and disconnected from them. I had to explain the complexity of my life to my mom in detail, on many examples. Now she understands me and supports me in the right way. And we spend nice time together – sometimes I mentor her in new trends, sometimes she gives me valuable advice in human relations.

    Love is necessary, but not enough. Willingness to learn new things and to understand new trends and problems (for that you need intellect) is very the next crucial component.

  • Bella

    Wow, that just goes to show how powerful the role of motherhood is. Sometimes it is hard for me to realize the importance of being a mother, but just thinking past the hard part, what would *I* rather do? Saving lives as a doctor is important, and that is why God provided us with medical knowledge, but *starting* those lives? To me, that is a powerful calling. Only women can create new life. It is a privilege many of us don’t deserve.


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