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Why Your Singleness Isn’t a Holding Station for Marriage

By: Bethany Baird

I’ve spent a good amount of time dreaming about the future.

Not dreaming of a future being married to my truest handsome love (although I do dream about that sometimes). What I’m currently dreaming about is something very near to my heart.

I’m currently dreaming about the impact that we, as single Christian women, could have on our families, communities, and the world around us.

Stop for a moment and dream with me.

Imagine what would happen if we, as single women, intentionally viewed these unique single years as “super years” to serve God. Imagine if we viewed them as crucial for service to God, rather than as a holding season for marriage.  

My dream/passion is that we would choose to view these years as “super years” to live all for Christ. That we would serve, disciple, minister, pray and go out of our way to use our gifts/talents to make an eternal impact.

I honestly get excited just thinking about the radical impact that we could have. If each one of us committed to this “super year” intentional mindset, our communities would be impacted and changed like never before.

Here is my challenge to you.

I challenge you to break free from the complacent modern mindset that is so prevalent in our generation. I challenge you to intentionally choose to be used by God for “such a time as this.”

There is too much to do.

We can’t afford to sit on the sidelines and watch. We can’t afford to put our lives on hold and wait. We can’t afford to spend hours upon hours binge watching television shows.

We need to get involved.

We need to embrace the unique freedoms that singleness brings and use them wholeheartedly for the glory of God.

I love this passage in Matthew where Jesus shows His disciples the incredible need for labors to harvest the field  

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest (Matthew 9:35-38).

Let’s choose to be women who are willing to be labors of the spiritual harvest. Let’s pray and ask God to use us to make an impact for His Kingdom.

Let’s choose to make our hearts cry, “Here I am Lord, send me!”

In a more practical sense, this little snippet from my journal more fully encompasses what I hope you’ll take away from this blog.

“When people ask me if I want to get married, I say, ‘absolutely!’ But not just for the sake of having a husband. I want to join forces and serve God in ways I couldn’t serve Him as a single. My goal in life (whether married or single) is always the same, serve God.” -Bethany’s Journal

As you’re thinking about your singleness, future, and current life circumstances, I want to leave you with 3 final thoughts.

Here are three helpful ways to view your single years.

1. You Have a Unique Opportunity to Serve God During This Season.

I want you to be free from concern. The unmarried man is concerned about the work of the Lord, how he can please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife… (1 Chronicles 7:32-33).

This verse can so easily be applied to us as women. We don’t have husbands to be concerned for. We don’t have the responsibility of helping him and spending time with him. We have a unique opportunity to focus more fully on serving the Lord. Let’s embrace that uniqueness and view this season as “super years” to serve Him.

2. You Can Kick Start Your Ultimate Purpose in Life as a Single.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19).

Despite your relationship status, this is your calling as a Christian woman. You don’t need a husband to fulfill this calling. You can begin working on making disciples and spreading the gospel right now.

3. You Can Grow in Your Giftings by Actually Using Them for Good Right Now.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

We each have the Word of God to equip us for every good work. Let’s begin putting what we know into action. The more we “practice” the easier it will be to serve God in the future. Don’t wait until the future to begin using your gifts and talents to serve God. Be proactive, equip your heart and mind with truth, and seek out opportunities to serve.

What will you do with your singleness?

What can you do to use this season as “super years” to serve God?

What gifts and talents has God given you? How can you serve Him using those giftings?

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  • Brittany

    This is a beautiful post. I’ve had the same thing on my heart as well. . .We gotta do better because legit truth, we only have ONE LIFE. ONE!!!!…Let Jesus turn off the crazy hormones and replace it with being filled in the Spirit. It’s hard to want to seek Jesus. . .who doesn’t hold us physically right now. But He completes. Boys don’t. It takes faith to truly love and believe Someone who we can’t see or touch. Let’s allow Jesus to set our hearts ablaze as we press into WHO HE IS. . .and encourage others to get closer to Jesus.

    Let’s accept Bethany’s challenge. . .it is legitness. . . .:)

  • Shanae B

    I’m in my late twenties, single, and still live at home. A big part of the reason I do that is because my youngest two siblings are special needs. Both have many ups and downs with medical issues and require a lot of help, and my parents can only get them so much in home medical help. So me and my parents do a lot of it. Between what my siblings need, frequent hospitalizations, and keeping up with the house and my job I am never able to commit to a ministry at church. I often can’t even do a one day charity thing. I get a lot of degradment from people because they hate how my life in my twenties has been. They love to tell me what God tells them His plan for my life is. I don’t feel wrong with helping at home. I’ve placed my love life into God’s hands. I’d love to be more involved at church, but a cold turkey over night change isn’t something I can just blatantly do. Love this article but it brings up a lot of hurt. How do I integrate this harvest work into my life?

    • Hey Shanae, Thanks so much for taking the time to share. I loved reading your comment and hearing about how you investing your time and energy into your family. I believe you are doing exactly what I’m challenging you to do. You are being extremely intentional with these years and you are investing big time into people. That is the goal of this article and I’m excited to see you doing just that. I would encourage you to put your family first. By ministering to your younger siblings you are making disciples! You are fulfilling the great commission 🙂 Blessings – Bethany

      • Shanae B

        Thanks for saying that! You are one first people around my age to say that to me. If anyone ever speaks about it positively it’s usually someone at or past retirement age. Most people my age, especially girls and women, they get mad and offended at me for not being more ‘independent’ and ‘self conserned’ (be “my own person”, be feminist). I was homeschooled and (by choice) didn’t go to college which can really set people off Christian or not. I get very little encouragement from people other then my family, so thank you lots! 🙂

    • Brittany

      People who are persecuting you for sacrificing your life to serve others need to Go on Facebook. Not the social media site but shove their face in the Bible. You are doing something beautiful!!!! You are loving and serving your siblings and that’s awesome.

    • Tiana

      I think you’re doing an amazing thing, serving your family and siblings!! God bless you!

  • Maria Wilson

    Great article! It came right on time too because I notice so many romantic relationships flourishing especially during the summer time. It’s easy for me to be discouraged. But Bethany is right, we have too much to do to be worrying about a future husband. Once we seek God, everything else will fall into place 🙂

  • Sandra Ifeanyi

    oh my God Bethany I can’t thank u girls enough for such a huge blessing you have been since I
    discovered your blog. You’ve helped me grow in so many ways. You girls made me start taking my life seriously. I live in Nigeria Africa and God answered my prayers with girls in America. God bless u so much and keep up the good work

  • Sophie Clemens

    Thank you for this post. It is a real encouragement for me and I am sure for many other girls too.

  • Kayleigh

    Where it says 1 Chronicles 7:32-33 the verse is actually 1 Corinthians 7:32-33. Thanks for posting!


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