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Why Your Singleness Isn’t a Holding Station for Marriage

By: Bethany Beal

I’ve spent a good amount of time dreaming about the future.

Not dreaming of a future being married to my truest handsome love (although I do dream about that sometimes). What I’m currently dreaming about is something very near to my heart.

I’m currently dreaming about the impact that we, as single Christian women, could have on our families, communities, and the world around us.

Stop for a moment and dream with me.

Imagine what would happen if we, as single women, intentionally viewed these unique single years as “super years” to serve God. Imagine if we viewed them as crucial for service to God, rather than as a holding season for marriage.  

My dream/passion is that we would choose to view these years as “super years” to live all for Christ. That we would serve, disciple, minister, pray and go out of our way to use our gifts/talents to make an eternal impact.

I honestly get excited just thinking about the radical impact that we could have. If each one of us committed to this “super year” intentional mindset, our communities would be impacted and changed like never before.

Here is my challenge to you.

I challenge you to break free from the complacent modern mindset that is so prevalent in our generation. I challenge you to intentionally choose to be used by God for “such a time as this.”

There is too much to do.

We can’t afford to sit on the sidelines and watch. We can’t afford to put our lives on hold and wait. We can’t afford to spend hours upon hours binge watching television shows.

We need to get involved.

We need to embrace the unique freedoms that singleness brings and use them wholeheartedly for the glory of God.

I love this passage in Matthew where Jesus shows His disciples the incredible need for labors to harvest the field  

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest (Matthew 9:35-38).

Let’s choose to be women who are willing to be labors of the spiritual harvest. Let’s pray and ask God to use us to make an impact for His Kingdom.

Let’s choose to make our hearts cry, “Here I am Lord, send me!”

In a more practical sense, this little snippet from my journal more fully encompasses what I hope you’ll take away from this blog.

“When people ask me if I want to get married, I say, ‘absolutely!’ But not just for the sake of having a husband. I want to join forces and serve God in ways I couldn’t serve Him as a single. My goal in life (whether married or single) is always the same, serve God.” -Bethany’s Journal

As you’re thinking about your singleness, future, and current life circumstances, I want to leave you with 3 final thoughts.

Here are three helpful ways to view your single years.

1. You Have a Unique Opportunity to Serve God During This Season.

I want you to be free from concern. The unmarried man is concerned about the work of the Lord, how he can please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife… (1 Chronicles 7:32-33).

This verse can so easily be applied to us as women. We don’t have husbands to be concerned for. We don’t have the responsibility of helping him and spending time with him. We have a unique opportunity to focus more fully on serving the Lord. Let’s embrace that uniqueness and view this season as “super years” to serve Him.

2. You Can Kick Start Your Ultimate Purpose in Life as a Single.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19).

Despite your relationship status, this is your calling as a Christian woman. You don’t need a husband to fulfill this calling. You can begin working on making disciples and spreading the gospel right now.

3. You Can Grow in Your Giftings by Actually Using Them for Good Right Now.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

We each have the Word of God to equip us for every good work. Let’s begin putting what we know into action. The more we “practice” the easier it will be to serve God in the future. Don’t wait until the future to begin using your gifts and talents to serve God. Be proactive, equip your heart and mind with truth, and seek out opportunities to serve.

What will you do with your singleness?

What can you do to use this season as “super years” to serve God?

What gifts and talents has God given you? How can you serve Him using those giftings?

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