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Why You’re Looking for Jesus in Your Boyfriend

By: Guest Blogger

I’ve had a crush on a guy (I’ll call “Sean”) for over 3 years. It’s bad.

What’s worse is that we’ve only spoken one time. He picked up my grapes in the college cafeteria when I dropped them. I thanked him. End of story.

Somehow, I still have a hard-core crush on Sean. I stare at him from across the cafeteria at meals. I look up his picture in the college directory when I’m feeling lonely. I imagine us having this amazing relationship that would make you crazy jealous.

But it’s all fake. It’s all in my head.

Sean probably doesn’t even know my name. To him, I’m probably just another face in the crowd.

Sean’s never seemed to notice me—even though I’ve noticed him a lot. He’s never really paid attention to me—even though I’ve paid attention to him often. He’s never taken the time to get to know me—even though I’m more than willing to get to know him.

So why do I keep crushing on him?

Honestly, I keep hoping that someday Sean will notice me. Deep down, I hope there is more to Sean than his athletic build, deep brown eyes, and dreamy smile. I want him to love me.

I realize this might sound crazy. After all, we’ve never even met. However, as a woman, I have a deep desire to be known and cherished.

I long to be noticed, held, and loved deeply.

I expect him to make me happy, to complete me, and to satisfy my heart’s desire. But he never, ever will. Sean could never meet my high expectations.

Even if I officially met Sean tomorrow and he turned out to be an amazing guy, there would still be days when he wasn’t so amazing. He would still give into sin and be less-than-loving toward me. That’s how humans are—even guys who seem perfect.

So who will meet my high expectations? Who will know me and cherish me? Who will notice me, hold me, and love me deeply?

Jesus did—and He does.

He knew me before I realized how much I wanted to be known. He loved me before I ever asked to be loved. He cherished me before I truly longed to be cherished.

Friends, please don’t misunderstand me when I say that Jesus is the only One who can ever fill your empty heart. I’m not saying Jesus is a substitute for your future husband. I believe marriage is a part of His plan for most men and women.

However, I am saying that no guy can (or should) take the place of Jesus in your life. No one could know you more intimately. No one could love you more. No one could satisfy you more than Jesus can.

I keep expecting guys—especially Sean—to surprise me by suddenly loving me more than I could imagine. I admit that I’m living in a fairytale because Sean could never love me like that. As a fallen human, he’s incapable of loving me that much and that perfectly.

Jesus already loves me perfectly. I don’t need a guy to love me perfectly, too.

So why do we expect our crushes and boyfriends to be perfect? Why do we hope that their love for us will whisk us off our feet?

I think we’re trying to fill a void—a void that can only be filled by Jesus. We look for love from guys because we haven’t fully embraced God’s love. We look for acceptance from guys because we haven’t fully comprehended Jesus’ acceptance. We look for perfection from guys because we haven’t fully realized Christ’s perfection.

“Thus says the Lord: ‘The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you” (Isaiah 31:2-3 ESV).

Friends, Jesus is more than enough for us.

No guy can ever measure up to Him. His eternal love and faithfulness toward us demonstrate who He is. You don’t have to look for Jesus in your crush or your boyfriend because you can know Jesus deeply.

-Is there a certain guy in your life who you’ve been crushing on or dating recently? What do you expect from him?

-Have you recognized Jesus’ immeasurable love for you? If not, I hope you’ll dive into His Word to read all the incredible promises He has for you.

GUEST AUTHOR: Grace M. is a college student, a blogger, and a writer. She enjoys spending time with her family, chatting with friends, and eating cookie dough. She writes about the Christian life at Tizzie’s Tidbits.


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