How to Become the Wife and Mother of Your Dreams

By: Bethany Baird

The organ began playing. All eyes locked their gaze on the back of the church. The moment finally arrived and the bride’s beautiful white dress came into view.

The bride began her walk down the aisle toward her eagerly awaiting groom. Her eyes were in tears, his eyes were in tears and the entire crowd was in tears as we all watched this new marriage come together.

As I watched my two friends seal their marriage with a kiss, I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed for God’s goodness and faithfulness in their lives.

Both of them had worked hard to prepare themselves for this day.

They both loved God and had a huge desire to make their new marriage all about Him. They were committed to growing in their relationship with God and in their relationship with one another. Everyone could truly rejoice over this marriage because of their proven character and devotion to serving the Lord.

A few weeks later.

When I arrived back in Texas from the wedding, I started thinking. At this time in life (early twenties) I was in pretty serious relationship with a guy and began to question what kind of bride I would be. If nothing in my life changed, as far as character goes, would I be the bride and wife I truly wanted to be?

This question and thought process really started to bother me. Deep down in my heart I knew there were some things I needed to change but always assumed I would just grow out of them.

I honestly assumed that overtime I would become the patient, sweet, kind, giving, humble and grateful woman I wanted to be. Right? Wrong!

Make The Hard Effort to Become the Woman God Wants You to be.

During this time I realized that I was who I was. No amount of time would miraculously turn me into an amazing woman of God. Unless I put in the hard effort to become the woman God wanted me to be, it wasn’t going to happen.

Thanks to the wisdom of several married women, they encouraged me to work hard on my character now. They assured me that the good, bad and ugly would follow me straight into marriage.

They encouraged me to work on my character as much as possible now so that I could be a bigger blessing to my husband in the future. As well as better daughter, sibling and friend right now.

Single Girls, You Know What I’m Talkin’ About.

If you’re a single girl yourself (or even a married one) I’m sure you’ve thought about the future. I’m sure you’ve dreamed about the day you will walk down the aisle to your groom. I’m sure you’ve imagined yourself being an amazing wife, with an amazing husband and adorable children playing with their toys on the floor.

If you’re anything like me you’ve probably had the thoughts, “Once I get married life will be easier. Once I get married I’ll have more freedom. Once I get married It will be easier to love my current family. Once I get married I’ll be more mature.”

We as single girls have a way of twisting our futures and imagining them exactly the way we want them to be. We somehow forget that the girl we are now, is the girl we will be when we are married. Flaws and all.

Making Change Today

Instead of waiting for the, “one day” or the “once I’m married” why don’t we each start making change today? Let’s each be totally honest with ourselves and admit the areas where we struggle.

Unless we are intentional about making change and growing in our character, it’s not going to happen.

I want to challenge you to make a list of your top 3 struggles and write them on a 3×5 card. After you’ve listed your struggles write out a 2-4 sentence snippet of encouragement and then include a verse for each struggle.

My list would look something like this:

1. Patience:

Learn to have patience with my family and recognize that my ways aren’t always right. People are more important than doing things my way or arriving somewhere on time. Learn to trust God and wait patiently on His perfect timing for my future. God is perfect and is working all things together for good for those who love Him.

“But they that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

2. Words:

Think before you speak. Do my words bless or harm those around me? Would those who know be best consider me an encouraging person? Remember the tongue has the power of both life and death.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

3. Humility:

You are not the most important person in the world. Take yourself off your high and mighty throne and realize that you are simply a servant of God working to accomplish His will. Think of others as more important than yourself and strive to serve those around you.

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

How to Become the Woman of Your Dreams.

If you truly want to become the woman you dream yourself to be in the future, you have to start working hard now. You have to acknowledge your weaknesses and struggles, and begin working on them today.

I can’t encourage you enough to grab a 3×5 card and write your top 3 struggles down. List the struggles and then write out a few sentences of wisdom and encouragement. Next find a key verse that will remind you of the goal and renew your mind with truth.

Will you take the challenge?

If you’re up for the 3×5 card challenge, I’d love to hear about it. Leave me a comment below saying, “I’m up for the challenge.”


How to Become the Wife and Mother of Your Dreams - Girl Defined


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  • I’m up for the challenge! =)

    • Great! I’m so glad you are joining me by taking the challenge 🙂 -Bethany

  • Nicole

    I’m up for the challenge!!! This is a great thing to think about really no matter what stage you are in we dream about our future husband and how we want them to be but are we becoming the amazing wan God wants us to be?

    • Great thoughts! Glad you are taking the challenge 🙂 -Bethany

  • Elizabeth Fry

    I’m up for the challenge! And it will include those same three items 🙂

    • Awesome! so glad you joined 🙂 -Bethany

  • Cede

    I ‘m up to the challenge! Thank you so much for this article. I have a boyfriend who wants to marry me and I keep thinking that I’ll be a better person in marriage because just being married will make it so. I have recently been seeing all of my faults and how big of an issue those are. I have been feeling horrible about how I make God feel and how, if I don’t change, I will make my future husband feel. I’m having a very tough time with changing for God’s glory, and I am hungry for any advice I can get. I will definitely do this idea with the note cards. Thank you for that!

    • Hey Cede, Thanks for opening up and sharing your struggle with me. One of my favorite verses on the topic of making change is Ephesians 4:22-24.

      It says, “Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

      These verses give us a three step action plan in making change and staying changed:

      1. “Put off your old self.” You have to “put off” off bad. Whatever your specific sin struggle is, you have to stop.

      2. “Renew your mind.” This is key to changing your actions from the inside out. Stopping sinning isn’t enough. You have to renew your mind with truth and train your mind to think according to the Bible. This action step gets to the heart and will replace your wrong way of thinking with God’s way of thinking.

      3. “Put on the new self.” This last step is very very important. Once you’ve stopped the bad and renewed your mind with truth, you must start doing good. If you struggle to speak kind words, you now need to practice speaking good words. If you struggle with wasting your time in front of the TV, you need to replace that bad habit with something better (listen to Revive our Hearts, volunteer in an old folks home, serve someone other than yourself etc.)

      There is so much more I could say, but I think this is a good place to start. You know your struggles and so you can fill in each of the three steps accordingly.

      “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9


  • Shasta

    I’m up for the challenge!

  • Kay

    I am up for the challenge! This was perfect for me right now. I appreciate the application idea. Although, I might need a few more cards!

  • Tiffani Dumpert

    I recently found your Instagram feed and fell in love with what y’all stand for! This is my first time on your blog and I definitely feel sure that I will be back! I do have a question regarding your statement of faith though. Just out of curiosity 🙂

  • Alex G

    Definitely up for the challenge. 🙂

  • Omle Uche

    I’m up for the challenge!

  • Abigail Leigh Showalter

    I’m up for the challenge! “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” [Psalm 19:4] is first on my list.

  • Allyson Veilleux

    I am up for the challenge!!!! Thank you for your encouragement and wisdom!

  • I’m up for the challenge! Your three points hit it spot on…

  • I’m up for the challenge. This was very encouraging, thank you so much for writing this post!

  • Kaylee Alexander

    Just had a great quiet time with this post and Jesus calling! Thank you guys for writing these and being so consistent! They bless me so much and are really helpful 🙂

  • Lizzy

    Thank you
    It was exactly that what i needed to hear
    Be blessed

  • Sydney

    I’m up for the challenge! Starting today. 🙂

  • Hannah B

    your list looks alot like what my would/will, I’m going to make one tonight. Very good Bethany!

  • Miriam Lagomarsino

    Im up for the challange!

  • Rizah

    I’m up for the challenge!!

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