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Is Being a Woman More than Getting Married and Having Babies?

By: Bethany Beal

If being a woman is strictly about getting married and having babies, then Kristen and I are failing miserably.

I don’t have a husband which means I don’t have children and Kristen has a husband but God hasn’t given her children yet. As most of you know I would love to get married (followed by children) and Kristen would love to have children.

Despite our desires and open hearts toward those roles (wife and mother) God has chosen not to fulfill all of those desires in either of our lives.

Discovering True Womanhood

As a young girl I believed that the ultimate fulfillment and purpose in my life would come from being a wife and a mom. I dreamed of that day and was sure God had created me to fulfill those roles.

As I grew older I slowly (very slowly) discovered that although marriage and motherhood are extremely (emphasis on extremely) valuable roles, they aren’t the ultimate purpose for my womanhood.

Disclaimer: This blog post isn’t intended to contradict or devalue anything we’ve written in the past about the importance of marriage. This blog post is simply to help us as girls make sure that our priorities are in the right order.

Your Ultimate Purpose

Your ultimate purpose as a woman is the same as every other human being on the planet.  

Every decision you make, relationship you start, job you accept, husband you marry, children you have, morals you embrace, convictions you hold to, and worldview you live under, should flow from these 4 truths.

1. For God’s Glory

When God created the very first humans He gave them the ability to sing, talk, dance, laugh, create, work and do so much more. Everything about their lives was intended to bring God glory. Despite how far we’ve come from those perfect days in the Garden, our purpose remains the same. We were created for God’s glory.

“…everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made” (Isaiah 43:7)

This first point should be the foundation of everything you do. Don’t believe the lie that you were made for you. You were not made for your glory, you were made for God’s glory.

2. To Declare His Praises

“My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name forever and ever” (Psalm 145:21).

“My mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day” (Psalm 71:8)

“Praise the LORD, my soul. LORD my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty” (Psalm 104:1)

You get the idea. We were made to declare God’s praises. There are dozens and dozens of verses that encourage this “praising God” lifestyle. Declaring God’s praises should be totally intertwined with your existence. The more your mouth is filled with praises for God, the more satisfied and fulfilled you will be.

3. To Become like Christ

If I play darts I have to focus intently on the bullseye in order to aim my dart in the right direction. In the same way we each have to focus on Christ in order to aim our life in the right direction. Becoming like Christ should be the bullseye for your life.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

Your life isn’t about looking cool, being popular, making stacks of money, getting the right job, or having a perfect family. Your life is about becoming like Christ and reflecting Him through every choice you make.

4. To Make Disciples

We were created to tell others about Jesus and help others become more like Him. Your life should be constantly focused on creating Christ followers.  

Single or married, every woman is capable of doing this. No excuses.

“And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age’” (Matthew 28:16).

A Bigger Purpose

I’m so grateful that God has given us as women such clarity for our lives. We were made for Him. It’s soooo simple, yet so complicated.

Thankfully the Bible doesn’t leave us with those four points alone. They are only the start. Those four points are the roots of your tree and everything else should grow and branch out from there.

Since God did create men and women to be different, we also need to pursue His best plan for us as women. If you are interested in studying the practical side of your womanhood, I would encourage you to check out passages like Titus 2, Proverbs 31, as well as the book of Esther.

Where is Your Heart?

I want to challenge you to evaluate your heart and ask yourself if those four points truly reflect your heart. Do you desire God’s glory above all else? Do you praise Him every day? Do strive hard to become like Christ? Do seek out people to invest in and help them become like Christ?

Why don’t you just pick one of the four to start. This week take time every day to live out the point you picked. If it’s “declare His praises” take time every day to praise God in private and in public.

I’d love to hear which point you picked and why. Feel free to share your thoughts with me in the comments section below.

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11 Responses to Is Being a Woman More than Getting Married and Having Babies?

  1. Mary says:

    I love this post!!! Its soooo true what your saying!!! As woman of God, its so natural for our strongest desire to be a mom and wife and its a Godly desire that I believe God puts inside of us. However, I believe that we so often get stuck on that ONE thing that we don’t do the others. Thanks for writing this, I plan to share it with my ladies!!! Btw: I just found your guys’ blog last week and I’m sooooo lovin it!!! God bless!!!
    ♥Mary 🙂

  2. Allie says:

    Thank you!

    Though I know that I´m here to glorify Him and to make Him know, and teven when I try to depend on Him to do it every day, one part of my heart is constantly asking me what I´m going to do If I never get married. And I want so badly to be a wife and mom, and I have good motivations, but I´m praying that the Lord may convince me that it´s not my ultimate goal. Thank you so much for this!

    I´m going to write this 4 truths in a place I can see often, and praise for what He´s done, is doing and is about to do!!

    I just thought of this quote:

    ““When I realize that everything that is happening to me, is to make me more Christ-like it solves a great deal of anxiety.”
    – A.W. Tozer

  3. Jesusfreak17 says:

    As we say at our youth group, we want to be disciples, who make disciples, who make disciples, who make disciples…

  4. Elizabeth Williams says:

    You’re absolutely right! Great points!

  5. Elisabeth says:

    I don’t know what to say I can agree but my heart won’t follow!!I want to but unfortionatly a husband and children are the God’s and idols if my life if it doesn’t suite them, there not happy, I’m not getting closer to thoes goals, I just don’t have the will power to follow it!I wish I did, Please pray that I might someday!!Because,I’m tired of being drug around a leash by them, catering to them,and worrying that they’ll never come true!!

  6. Helena says:

    This week I want to strive to become more like Christ!

  7. Laini Russell says:

    Wow. Just wow. Idk what to say. This ball hit home

  8. Azi says:

    Thank you, Bethany. Service, above all things.

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  10. April Marie says:

    Bethany, I recently discovered your blog via your Facebook page and really enjoy the content you and your sister provide. I agree with your assessment of what true womanhood is, but, sadly, I think this is a message that does not get preached enough in most churches, at least in my experience.

    I am a 39-year-old, never-married single, and I still struggle feeling like I truly belong or am truly valued in the church, because I don’t “fit the mold” of the typical Christian woman my age. Marriage and motherhood are so idolized and esteemed in the church at large, that single women like myself are made to feel as if we are second-class citizens in many respects…as if something is “wrong” with us. I grew up in a Christian home where I was told constantly that all I was good for was getting married and having babies, and even now, I hear many sermons from pastors exalting marriage and motherhood, or even condemning singles for “waiting too long to get married” (as if some of us have a choice in that!). I think, perhaps, single Christian women wouldn’t find their identity solely in their marital status (or whether they have children or not), if the church at large didn’t overemphasize marriage and family. As Christian women (and men), our identity and worth should not be determined by blood and familial relationships, but by our relationship with Christ and our spiritual relationships within the Body of Christ. The early Church seemed to get this…the modern Church seemingly does not.

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