conference conference


Writing Letters to Your Future Husband

By: Bethany Beal

I’m getting married in less than one week. For years, I wondered if this day would actually come. Marriage has always been something I strongly desired…but I also knew it wasn’t something God owed me or something He promised to me. So, for the past 30 years, I have been holding my dreams, desires, and longings for marriage in one hand, and my trust, hope, and contentment in God in the other hand.

Little did I know what God had brewing all along.

In less than 7 days, I’ll walk down the aisle to a godly and faithful man named David Beal. Without even knowing it, this is the man I’ve been praying for since I was a teen girl.

This is the man I have been writing anonymous letters to for over 15 years.

Even though I now know the name of my soon-to-be husband, my faithfulness to David didn’t start after we got engaged. My faithfulness to my husband is something I have been striving to cherish and preserve for my entire life. There’s a verse in Proverbs 31 that has always inspired me to be faithful to my future husband, even as a single woman.

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12).

This “wife of noble character” did good to her husband ALL the days of her life. This includes the days before she even knew him. We can assume that this woman was striving to be a faithful and pure woman long before she ever got married. She was focused on doing good to her husband long before she knew him.

Over fifteen years before I got in a relationship with David, God began to convict me in the area of purity and gave me a strong desire to want to honor my future husband.

As a teen girl, I began praying through convictions and decided to commit to several things:

  1. To save sex for marriage.
  2. To save my first kiss for my wedding day.
  3. To pray for my future husband.
  4. To write letters to my future husband.

In this post today, I want to focus entirely on commitment number four. This habit has been a huge encouragement to me over the years, and I think it could be for you as well.

In addition to studying God’s word, praying, and growing as a Christian woman, writing letters to my future husband has also been a part of helping me stay on focused on the right things romantically.

Here’s why I chose to write letters to my future husband:

  • Writing letters reminds me that I want to save myself for one man alone, not many men.
  • Writing letters helps me focus on my future husband and inspires me to live in a pure, honoring, and Christ-glorifying way.
  • Writing letters reminds me not to settle when life gets hard.
  • Writing letters helps me to take my relationship with God seriously and to grow in my character so that I can be a Proverbs 31:10 kind of woman: “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”

Not to mention, these letters will make a sweet and beautiful wedding gift for my husband. Since I’ve been writing these letters for many years now, I have an entire pile that I am planning to give to David on our honeymoon. How cool is that!?

Writing letters to your future husband (if God has marriage in your future), can be a helpful way to keep your heart and desires focused on staying faithful and pure for that one man.

If you’re interested in writing letters to your future husband, here a few practical tips to help you get started:

1. Find a special box or container and keep all your letters inside of it.

This will be an easy way for you to keep track of the letters and will be a wonderful way to gift them to your future husband one day.

2. Keep your letters focused on your spiritual walk.

Don’t turn these letters into fantasies or romance novels. Keep your heart pure and God at the center of your writing.

3. Include Scripture and prayers.

That will bless you now and bless him when he finally gets to read them.

4. Keep in mind that prayer is a powerful weapon.

Your future husband could very well be blessed by your prayers in ways you may never know on this side of eternity.

5. Don’t hesitate to share about your life and current happenings.

Just imagine how cool it will be to one day open the letters and read about your life before him.

Remember While You Wait.

As helpful as this habit was for me, I understand that this may not be helpful for everyone. Some of you may be struggling over guy obsessions, and this may be a temptation for you to focus where you should not. In that case, develop a practice of writing letters to God, asking Him to shape you to be more like Him—not in preparation to be a bride, but in preparation to be His Bride (Isa. 62:5).

Whether you ever write a letter to your future husband or not, here are a few important things to keep in mind:

  • Strive to honor God and your future husband in your current guy friendships and relationships.
  • Remember that your future husband (if it’s God’s will for you to get married) is a real, living man, not a figment of your imagination.
  • Work hard on your character and develop a deep and intimate relationship with Jesus (Galatians 5).
  • Prepare well and strive to become a hardworking Proverbs 31 woman.
  • Develop a lifestyle of prayer that you can bring into your future marriage.

As I pack up my box of letters for my honeymoon and prepare to become David’s bride this weekend, I marvel at God’s faithfulness and timing. Through all my years of singleness, I have learned to trust God in deeper ways than I ever could have imagined. Even when I wondered if marriage would ever come my way, my heart was anchored in God’s unfailing love towards me. God has helped me understand that as wonderful as marriage is, it’s not the ultimate goal in life. Loving God is. He is the only man who can fully satisfy the deepest longings of my heart.

As wonderful and amazing as David is, he cannot give me what only Christ was intended to give.

A deep, abiding, and faithful relationship to Jesus Christ is the only relationship that will completely satisfy my soul. As Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

As I am deeply satisfied in Christ, then — and only then — will I be able to give and receive love in the most beautiful and faithful way with my earthly husband. As I hand David my box of letters on our honeymoon, I pray he feels the love, encouragement, and faithfulness that I have been waiting for and longing to give him all of these many years.

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on the idea of writing letters to your future husband. Please leave your comments below!

Also, to learn more about God’s incredible design for true love and lasting relationships, I highly encourage you to grab a copy of our newest book, Love Defined. It could be life changing for you as discover a biblical approach to navigating romance and singleness.

images images images
girl defined conference
Radical Purity

24 Responses to Writing Letters to Your Future Husband

  1. Alexandra Strimbu says:

    I love this post so much! I’m not sure if marriage is for me or if it’s in God’s plan for my life, but I love this idea and think I’ll start writing letters too! God bless y’all!

  2. Milena Deitos says:

    I just loved the idea! I’ve been praying for my future husband in my regular prayers about christian life, the character of Jesus to be developed in us and others things, as he already exists in my life, although I dont even know his name. And sometimes, I feel I should pray for some specific thing. How wonderful it will be to discover that God used any of my prayers to help or solve anything in my future husband life before we met! So the letters will serve as a testimony of what Jesus has done in us! I will try to pratice it!

  3. Susannah Grant says:

    I love that idea! Thanks for sharing Bethany! I wish you and Dāv the best!

  4. AlmaRoa says:

    Wonderful idea!! I think it could be very helpful to me…
    Thank you for your godly example! I’m so excited for you 🙂

  5. Cesia says:

    I have a bunch of letters already! Thanks for sharing why it was helpful for you because I thought it was just a weird thing that I was doing.

  6. Shanae B says:

    Great post! Even though this is something I’ve never done. It is a very neat idea none the less! I like what you said about writing letters to God! I really like the five points at the end weather or not you write letters! Congratulations on your wedding this weekend!!!

  7. Bella D. says:

    Wow, what a lovely idea! Thank you for sharing, Bethany. All the best!

  8. Ina Yefimov says:

    I think I will do that. I did when I was younger. But when I was younger my heart consumed with boys, and my letters became something I did not want to give him. But when you think of it as a gift and an insight to my spiritual growth that sounds amazing! Thank you for the suggestion!

  9. Olivia Scott says:

    Great post, Bethany! I’ve been doing this for a few years now and it really is such a blessing, to me now, and if God has marriage in my future, I know it’ll be a blessing to my husband later on. SO excited for you and Dāv and can’t wait to see what God has in store for you both! Congratulations, girl!! ❤️

  10. Denali says:

    I don’t check you blog or page very often at all but somehow I just knew to look today (Obviously it was God’s leading, I had nothing to do with it). This post was just the perfect reminder to stay pure in spirit and to stay close to God above all else. I have been trying to figure out some irritating teen hormones and feelings for guys that I wish I didn’t have. I started writing letters to my future husband (if I have one) a couple years ago. I think that before I can get into that again I will take your suggestion to write letters to God. I really think He is trying to bring my focus back on Him and when my focus is on Him, it won’t be on guys. Thanks so much! You gals and your writing are such blessings to me!

  11. Esther says:

    This is such a great blog! I am so excited for your wedding, Bethany!

  12. Elizabeth Scott-Branagan says:

    I’ve been doing this for a couple of years now, and I’m getting married in February. I’m so excited to continue to write letters over the next few months for him. His second primary love language is words, so I’m so glad that I have this gift to him as well.

    I pray that the next few days are really peaceful and joyful for you both, and I know your wedding day will be perfect, as it’s completely orchestrated by God! ❤️

  13. Loved says:

    I’m so excited for you Bethany! I’ve written a couple letters for my future hubby, but… I forget to when I really want to a lot!
    Your post reminded me how important it is to keep our minds focused on our first love! Thank you! Love y’all!

  14. Krystel Lumacad says:

    Wow! Best Wishes to you Bethany and David! God bless you and your relationship!

  15. Zini Narciso says:

    i will definitely do this!i love this post i almost cried. im also very excited for my turn to finally meet the right man God has for me. Congratulations to the both of you, I know God will bless the day of your wedding! Im just amazed how God’s plan unfolds, its so beautiful, your love story is a proof that truly God’s will is the best.

  16. love this article!! ❤️i started writing to my future husband almost a year ago. the beauty of this article is that it’s simple, it breaks the idea down, and gives you some basic points to keep your heart in check.

  17. Kimberley Morgan says:

    This is so amazing! I have been writing to my Future Husband since around 2016. I started this passion when I read an article by Jordan Lee Dooley. It was the best thing I did as just like you said I focused on my walk with Christ and added prayers, scriptures and poems. It is a great way to focus on the right part of waiting on your husband. I started with a small teal box, and eventually, it has now grown to a medium red box. It’s exciting and just like you I can’t wait to hand him this gift. I will marry an amazing man of God next year August, and many times I too thought I would not marry, even though I have wanted a family since I was a child. God has orchestrated many things in my life to ensure I could have this and I am deeply grateful. My single years have truly only prepared me adequately for this next step. And I had a lot to learn to about God and his love for me in that time. Finally, I will say, GOD truly is FAITHFUL!

  18. Writer says:

    I am 22 and have been writing letters to my future husband (not regularly, but every so often), since I was about 15. I took a break for a while during a season when I needed to keep my focus off a strong desire to be married that was stealing my contentment and trust in God. When I had overcome my discontentment, I was able to resume my lettersto my husband in a more God-honoring way- focusing on writing my prayers for him, scriptures I wanted to teach our children someday, lessons God was teaching me, and trials God was helping me overcome. My letters are much richer and more God-centered now, and I believe that season of silence gave me time to grow that my husband will be able to appreciate when (if) we get married. Thanks for a great post 😉

  19. Taryn Miller says:

    How often did you write these letters?

  20. Rosailyn De La Paz says:

    Hello everyone! Such a great Idea Bethany, thanks a lot for sharing! I will start doing it myself! It sounds fun plus I will have a sweet gift for my future husband. Thanks to everyone who also shared their story; I read all the comments haha

  21. Loved says:

    By the way! I love your dress Bethany!

  22. Corinne says:

    How do you know God has not promised you something? The more you pray on it, were you able to discern that marriage was something that God would not provide for you?

    Also, if you desire something strongly , to some extent, didn’t God put that desire in your heart?

    (My intention isn’t for this to come off as rude at all! I’m genuinely curious. I’ve heard girls strongly pray for God to give them affirmation or a vision regarding marriage. Wondering if this is manipulating the situation.)

    • Ruth says:

      Good solid questions. They got me thinking too. Honestly, I think it depends on your relationship with Him. Is it strong, mediocre or weak? My mom had a strong desire to be a missionary in Guatemala. She thought that was God’s will for her until He permanently shut that door. The verses she was pondering that God had shown her in devotions when she was in her teens were from the account of Abraham being told to leave his homeland. She was supposed to move but not that far. So even though you may have a strong desire, it may not be from God.

      It could be manipulating the situation if say you pray, “God give me the ok to marry John” vs “God give me the wisdom to figure out if I should marry John”

      At this point in my life I feel like marriage could be in my future but I’m not 100% sure. I’m in no rush — I feel like I wasn’t given the desire for motherhood. Who knows really. But I know God always has the best plan. I think if we hold on to that, we wouldn’t get into as many messes in life 😀

  23. Ashley says:

    Wow, this was so incredibly inspiring and right on time! I was actually thinking a lot about writing letters to my future husband but git stuck because I wasn’t sure how to go about it. This post not only helped me with that but its showed something even more important about my relationship with God and how these letters and preparation and growth are connected. What a beautiful and encouraging message!!!

e-book img

Sign up to receive our blog posts via e-mail and get a copy of our free e-book:
Reaching Beyond Myself
30 Day Devotional

Privacy guarantee: We will never share your e-mail address with anyone else