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Writing Letters to Your Future Husband

By: Bethany Beal

I’m getting married in less than one week. For years, I wondered if this day would actually come. Marriage has always been something I strongly desired…but I also knew it wasn’t something God owed me or something He promised to me. So, for the past 30 years, I have been holding my dreams, desires, and longings for marriage in one hand, and my trust, hope, and contentment in God in the other hand.

Little did I know what God had brewing all along.

In less than 7 days, I’ll walk down the aisle to a godly and faithful man named David Beal. Without even knowing it, this is the man I’ve been praying for since I was a teen girl.

This is the man I have been writing anonymous letters to for over 15 years.

Even though I now know the name of my soon-to-be husband, my faithfulness to David didn’t start after we got engaged. My faithfulness to my husband is something I have been striving to cherish and preserve for my entire life. There’s a verse in Proverbs 31 that has always inspired me to be faithful to my future husband, even as a single woman.

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12).

This “wife of noble character” did good to her husband ALL the days of her life. This includes the days before she even knew him. We can assume that this woman was striving to be a faithful and pure woman long before she ever got married. She was focused on doing good to her husband long before she knew him.

Over fifteen years before I got in a relationship with David, God began to convict me in the area of purity and gave me a strong desire to want to honor my future husband.

As a teen girl, I began praying through convictions and decided to commit to several things:

  1. To save sex for marriage.
  2. To save my first kiss for my wedding day.
  3. To pray for my future husband.
  4. To write letters to my future husband.

In this post today, I want to focus entirely on commitment number four. This habit has been a huge encouragement to me over the years, and I think it could be for you as well.

In addition to studying God’s word, praying, and growing as a Christian woman, writing letters to my future husband has also been a part of helping me stay on focused on the right things romantically.

Here’s why I chose to write letters to my future husband:

  • Writing letters reminds me that I want to save myself for one man alone, not many men.
  • Writing letters helps me focus on my future husband and inspires me to live in a pure, honoring, and Christ-glorifying way.
  • Writing letters reminds me not to settle when life gets hard.
  • Writing letters helps me to take my relationship with God seriously and to grow in my character so that I can be a Proverbs 31:10 kind of woman: “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”

Not to mention, these letters will make a sweet and beautiful wedding gift for my husband. Since I’ve been writing these letters for many years now, I have an entire pile that I am planning to give to David on our honeymoon. How cool is that!?

Writing letters to your future husband (if God has marriage in your future), can be a helpful way to keep your heart and desires focused on staying faithful and pure for that one man.

If you’re interested in writing letters to your future husband, here a few practical tips to help you get started:

1. Find a special box or container and keep all your letters inside of it.

This will be an easy way for you to keep track of the letters and will be a wonderful way to gift them to your future husband one day.

2. Keep your letters focused on your spiritual walk.

Don’t turn these letters into fantasies or romance novels. Keep your heart pure and God at the center of your writing.

3. Include Scripture and prayers.

That will bless you now and bless him when he finally gets to read them.

4. Keep in mind that prayer is a powerful weapon.

Your future husband could very well be blessed by your prayers in ways you may never know on this side of eternity.

5. Don’t hesitate to share about your life and current happenings.

Just imagine how cool it will be to one day open the letters and read about your life before him.

Remember While You Wait.

As helpful as this habit was for me, I understand that this may not be helpful for everyone. Some of you may be struggling over guy obsessions, and this may be a temptation for you to focus where you should not. In that case, develop a practice of writing letters to God, asking Him to shape you to be more like Him—not in preparation to be a bride, but in preparation to be His Bride (Isa. 62:5).

Whether you ever write a letter to your future husband or not, here are a few important things to keep in mind:

  • Strive to honor God and your future husband in your current guy friendships and relationships.
  • Remember that your future husband (if it’s God’s will for you to get married) is a real, living man, not a figment of your imagination.
  • Work hard on your character and develop a deep and intimate relationship with Jesus (Galatians 5).
  • Prepare well and strive to become a hardworking Proverbs 31 woman.
  • Develop a lifestyle of prayer that you can bring into your future marriage.

As I pack up my box of letters for my honeymoon and prepare to become David’s bride this weekend, I marvel at God’s faithfulness and timing. Through all my years of singleness, I have learned to trust God in deeper ways than I ever could have imagined. Even when I wondered if marriage would ever come my way, my heart was anchored in God’s unfailing love towards me. God has helped me understand that as wonderful as marriage is, it’s not the ultimate goal in life. Loving God is. He is the only man who can fully satisfy the deepest longings of my heart.

As wonderful and amazing as David is, he cannot give me what only Christ was intended to give.

A deep, abiding, and faithful relationship to Jesus Christ is the only relationship that will completely satisfy my soul. As Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

As I am deeply satisfied in Christ, then — and only then — will I be able to give and receive love in the most beautiful and faithful way with my earthly husband. As I hand David my box of letters on our honeymoon, I pray he feels the love, encouragement, and faithfulness that I have been waiting for and longing to give him all of these many years.

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on the idea of writing letters to your future husband. Please leave your comments below!

Also, to learn more about God’s incredible design for true love and lasting relationships, I highly encourage you to grab a copy of our newest book, Love Defined. It could be life changing for you as discover a biblical approach to navigating romance and singleness.

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